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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We just finished my DD's party and now that it's over I am sad. Everything went great except MIL trying to give my DD her own b-day cake. She put my DD in her decorated high chair, put a cake she brought with her in front of DD(mind u I made a special cake for m DD that didn't have anything she hasn't eaten yet in it), and was taking pictures and trying to get her to dig her hands into it. People started coming over thinking the baby was eating her cake. I got so mad I had to go outside. She was taking my special moment from me. Fortunately my DD stopped it, although he did let it get to where it was.<br><br>
Anyways back on track. I am just feeling a little sad now that it's over. I feel like I didn't get to spend enough time with her while she played with the kids because I was busy entertaining and doing things. I know it's what most mom's do, but I just feel like I should have been with her more. It bothers me so much I can't sleep. Then there's the sad feeling her party is over. At least we are going to the zoo on her real birthday, so that should make things a little better. But anyone else feel this way?
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> I understand. At every holiday, birthday etc I feel this way. Everybody's all over her, she's eating all this junk and she's crying and trying to process it all next day when I'm home alone with her. I find that these special days when everyone (and MIL's are notorious for this, I think) is paying all this attention to her are very hard, and as a mom you want to protect her from it. These little ones are so sensitive! But also for yourself, you want to take time to really feel how fast time flies by, look at her, be proud and realize she's growing so fast, especially on a day like that. Maybe you can have a quiet day on her real birthday, and maybe try to just let this go (it's hard, I know). The family and friends have had their day of fun with her, you're next. And running around with cups of coffee and not even really talking to someone or sitting down, I guess it's a mother's burden. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> I don't remember ever seeing my mom or any other mom for that matter sitting down on a birthday ever! Hugs to you, and remember that at night things seem darker.
 

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At many special family occasions, I look forward to them, want to see everyone, but then often end up feeling overwhelmed and stressed out. I wonder if it feels this way for people of all ages. And at these events, everyone wants to interact with baby! Especially if it's the first meeting. My ds gets somewhat overwhelmed every week at church. He's so cute <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> people just can't help but fuss over him and make baby talk at him. Wearing him really helps, I think. I keep him close and he feels secure this way.<br><br>
At events like birthday parties for our kids, that's what we moms do. We run around making nice and making things run smoothly. Keep in mind, you don't "have to" have parties for your kids. We've had several years where we just celebrated quietly at home with dd. Of course, now she's almost 7 and she starts talking about her b-day months in advance.<br><br>
Wait until your dd is older and you start going to other b-day parties at loud, obnoxious, stupid pizza/game places. I hate those. Or better yet, McDonalds! You wonder, "where, in all this madness, are we celebrating the child?" Anyway...<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s to you mama.
 

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Shannyshann, I PMed you because I am feeling sad today too. DS's first bday was yesterday and we had a big party. Everything went well and he literally laughed and clapped all day...even when 40 people sang to him! My take on it is that DH and I worked hard to plan, stressed to clean our house, and made some great (if I do say so myself!) food...everything went well and I personally think that It's just the let-down after a big event. I liken it , although on a much smaller scale, to an event like a big wedding or hmmmm... the birth of a child!? DH, DS and I are having a "jammie day" today. We had breakfast in bed, and we're going to spend the day playing with DS's cool new (not too plasticky or noisy) toys!
 

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I totally understand where you are coming from, after my dd's 1st b-day I was really sad, because it meant she was transitioning from baby to toddler, and while we were having her 2nd b-day I remember sitting in the chair (I was very pregnant, so I was excused from much of the run-around, my dh and my mom did most of it) wishing everyone would just leave already so I could have some quiet time with her. It's hard because you feel torn between celebrating these milestones with everyone who ever met your child and not wanting to share the child AT ALL!<br>
My husband, who is very good at "reading" me, realized how I felt and as soon as everyone left he packed me and dd off to bed and tidied up. When he joined us we sat and cuddled her and talked about where we were two years ago at that time. We discussed everything about her birth, and looked at pictures of her and celebrated where she is now. It was nice to take the time together.<br>
And we've done that with our 7yo as well, when the party is over we sit with him and look over his presents, talk about the party and how nice it was that this or that person made a special trip to come.<br><br>
I think it's really important to balance the hectic party with some good quality family time.<br><br>
And, shannyshan, I am sorry that your MIL stole your moment. You have every right to be upset over that. I would be livid. Unfortunately you can't turn back the clock and do it over again, but I would definitely be having a conversation with her about it since I am sure you do not want a repeat performance. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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DD turned one last week and I posted a similar thread....about mixed feelings as she turns the corner from infant to toddler. I concluded that most of my sad feelings stem from that fact that we're only having one child. So, I know that each milestone and event, is the last time I will see it.<br><br>
As far as parties, I read an interesting tip that stuck with me.<br><br>
-Have as many people at the party as the age of the child-<br><br>
I know that's tough for folks with big families, but it saved us exactly what you described. I loved having a relaxing dinner with DH and my Mom. We took our time and enjoyed the moment. We gave her a cupcake, took some pictures and it was over. She preferred broccoli to the cake!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks for the responses. It definitely is a confusing feeling, her 1st Birthday. I am excited about her turning one and all that she has experienced, but at the same time I am sad because that part of her life is gone. I looked down at her hands yesterday thinking how big they had gotten, and it almost felt as if I didn't pay attention as they grew so fast. I think that is a major part of it, that it goes by so fast and many times I get busy doing things that I need to do, that I feel I let time slip by. I'm sure mother's 100 years ago didn't have the time to feel this way, but it leaves me a little sad and regretting do so many loads of laundry or spending too much time learning about parenting on the computer.<br>
As with most things I know it will pass, but it just tugs at the heart. I am glad we are going to the zoo on her birthday, although there are8 of us going, I will make sure to slow down and enjoy it.
 
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