wow, this is really interesting, i'd never hear of this before now.
I just went on the site and saw that there are 2 other families who used our donor and have posted messages. I'm really curious, but can't see the messages without paying the 40 bucks, which I'm not yet sure I want to do.
We chose an identity release donor, which means that although we (the parents) don't ever have access to the donor's info, our son will be allowed to get it directly from the sperm bank when he's 18. To be an identity release donor, the person donating just agrees to have the identifying info that the sperm bank has released, any kind of contact beyond that is up to the individuals involved.
I chose this way because although I wanted an anonymous donor, I also wanted to be able to provide my son with the option of knowing about the person who gave half of his genes, a pretty natural curiosity I think.
One issue I've thought about a lot is that we plan a younger sibling with the same donor (we like the results the first time!
and I got pregnant really easily). But I don't know what will happen when my older child turns 18. If he chooses to find out about the donor, then he'll have info about our younger child too, that that child is not technically supposed to have yet. I'm not sure exactly how we'll handle that.
And I wonder how it would work out with biological half-sibs that are not part of our family...if older kids had the info before my kids turned 18, or if my kids had the info and we were in touch with younger half-sibs....
it's a really complicated situation in terms of figuring out how to best meet the needs of the kids involved (most important, imo), as well as the intentions and decisions of the donors and the parents... and of course, pretty far away for me, as my son is only 2 right now.
anyone else out there use an identity-release donor? thoughts?
I'm also reminded of a sperm bank we considered but didn't use that put half-sibs (and donors too, i think) in touch with eachother right away -anonymous at the time of conception, to legally protect those involved, but then not anonymous afterwards. It's an interesting comparison because those families intented to create sort of extended family networks from the beginning, while it seems that the contacts created through this website are coming up quite after the fact. anyone with experience with that sperm bank (called rainbow something i think?) have thoughts to contribute?
looking forward to the continued discussion with you all...