Mothering Forum banner
1 - 10 of 10 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
175 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Right now, my husband in working out of town for 6 weeks (he will come home occasionally) and I am home taking care the two babies. This has been very hard for me because I don't have any family near this area. Both of my babies are high needs, ESPECIALLY my daughter. She is a screamer and screams about almost everything (she screams even if she's happy). She is an intense little girl. Neither is really sleeping through the night. They still like to eat every 2.5-3 hours and they are constantly snacking with their milk (taking only a few ounces along with some breastmilk). They fuss a lot also. I hardly have time for myself sometimes and I'm feeling quite overwhelmed with caring for them. My apartment looks a mess because I can't keep up with things. I'm trying to keep up with the breastfeeding but it is getting harder to do. I try to get out each day but I come back frustrated because I can't be out very long before they start fussing and crying. What am I doing wrong!?! I don't mean to sound so negative. I guess I really need some hugs and encouragement.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,907 Posts
Hugs. I was a single mom of twins. I think I've posted before about the beauty of just taking the kids somewhere ANYWHERE and letting strangers ohhhh and ahhhh over them and tell me how lucky I was and what a great mother -- and then when they found out I was a single mom, people went crazy with compliments. (Or, if you say, And yes, my dh is out of town for 6w...) Even if they cry and fuss. Does the stroller help? Slinging? Do whatever whats, but ime, getting out was really necessary.

The house will always be a mess. You will always be tired. There's just no avoiding that, just learn to deal as best you can.

ETA: Please try to make your bf'ing relationship a priority above everything else -- I wish I had done that. In 3 years you may not remember if your house was a mess or you were tired, but you will remember whether or not you bf'ed.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
457 Posts
yes, totally everything erika said! in fact, i think i read her post about the whole getting out and getting attention thing and i used that advice even though i didn't think it sounded like "me". well it works when you really need it!

my husband is around lots recently since one of our twins has been having seizures. he is army and was gone all the time for months sometimes. it is hard when he is away but i also find our rythym of routine is better.

man, my babies have never gone 3 hours without nursing, ever! all night, even. wearing them and nursing is the only way i have survived 11 months. i agree with the getting out and yes, forget about the mess. when i'm having a rough day, usually just anything NEW helps the girls and my son. anything. getting out anywhere new is the best and if we can't, we make forts in the living room or pull out some new "toys" from the kitchen cabinets, or turn on the music and dance...

hang in there mama! you will survive this!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,364 Posts
Heck, I don't think you're doing anything wrong! I bow down to you. I think at that point I would have slashed all of my dh's tires before I let him leave town for six weeks!

First, if you can, I would try and find a way to get a break, even if it means hiring a mother's helper or begging friends to come while you take a shower or walk around the block once in awhile.

Second, are they any mom's clubs or LLL meetings you could haul everyone to? Sometimes it helps just to be with other moms and it will give you a purpose to get out and about.

Breastfeeding two is REALLY demanding (well, I thought it was anyway), so I agree with YumaDula that you just have to make it a priority and don't worry about the mess for now. You'll have time to clean the house again when they start school
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,907 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by royaloakmi View Post
You'll have time to clean the house again when they start school

:

Mine are in preschool and my house is still a giant mess!

Although maybe having a singleton after the twins, and being 39w pregnant with another singleton has something to do with it...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,155 Posts
Call around and ask for help. LLL, twins clubs, churches, pediatricians' offices, hospitals (sometimes have new mom programs), etc. Even if you aren't a member!!

Get 1 or 2 swings or bouncy seats.
Get a backpack and vacuum (the only way my oldest would sleep.)
Get the babies checked for silent reflux!
Remove dairy and soy from your diet (often causes fussy behavior).

Just do what you need to do to survive!!! The rest will wait!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
284 Posts
You are an amazing woman--caring for two babies alone is quite an accomplishment! Please don't be hard on yourself.

I second the idea of finding some small way to get a break. Even if you could just get a neighborhood girl to entertain them while you take a shower, it would be worth the break. Or see if someone in a local Moms of Multiples group (with older twins) would be willing to watch them for an hour or two. Having "been there," many of them are more than willing to help out a fellow multiples mom in need.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
6,976 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by boopie2001 View Post
Right now, my husband in working out of town for 6 weeks (he will come home occasionally) and I am home taking care the two babies. This has been very hard for me because I don't have any family near this area. Both of my babies are high needs, ESPECIALLY my daughter. She is a screamer and screams about almost everything (she screams even if she's happy). She is an intense little girl. Neither is really sleeping through the night. They still like to eat every 2.5-3 hours and they are constantly snacking with their milk (taking only a few ounces along with some breastmilk). They fuss a lot also. I hardly have time for myself sometimes and I'm feeling quite overwhelmed with caring for them. My apartment looks a mess because I can't keep up with things. I'm trying to keep up with the breastfeeding but it is getting harder to do. I try to get out each day but I come back frustrated because I can't be out very long before they start fussing and crying. What am I doing wrong!?! I don't mean to sound so negative. I guess I really need some hugs and encouragement.
I've been there.
No help, no car, and no one but me with baby twins and two toddlers for 5 months at a time.

You CAN do this. Your heart is enough for them AND don't worry about your house. But see if you can drink more water and nap when they nap or lie down and rest as much as you can when they are b/c your body NEEDS to rest too. I am really serious about this. I remember being home a lot!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its just too much to go out and that's okay. They need their mama and you are the best mama for them.

Also, there are herbs you can take to increase your milk supply if you are open to that.

REST, mama!!!!

Do you have a rocking chair to rock them in?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
25 Posts
My oh my.. I can't imagine doing this alone! I feel for you. How old are your babies? mine are 9 weeks. My mother comes every day 'cept Sundays to help me. There has been one or two days that I was alone for maybe 6 hours tops. My MIL is barely 2 miles and a phone call away.

I agree with others, find some help. Friends, neighbors, anyone. And yes, 2 bouncy seats are a godsend!! I don't know what I'd do without mine. And now that they are starting to show interest in things I bought a little floor gym that I can lay them on and they can look at the hanging toys while music plays, it will occupy them for at least 15 minutes while I eat a sandwich or change a load of laundry.

At night, they are in bed with me. We put a double/full size bed in their room (they have yet to sleep in their crib). I am supplementing with 3 formula bottles for each of them a day. The last one is at bedtime, around 10:30pm. Then I nurse them to sleep and lay them in the middle of the bed. That first stretch of sleep has been about 4-5 hours, which is aweseom. Then during the night I just switch nurse them. I'll nurse one while laying down, then when the other wakes, I go to the other side of the bed, and lay next to him to nurse. I'll go back and forth and lay in bed with them till about 10am. If they wake at the same time, I grab my twin nursing pillow and just tandem them while in bed.. or I'll nurse the more fussy one a short snack then give him the pacifier while I nurse the other back to sleep, then go back to finish the first one. Whatever works, honestly.

Seriously... I hope you can get some help. Big hugs!! I wish I was there to pat you on the back. You are doing great!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
175 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks to everyone who responded. It is nice to know that there are people on this board who will give support, encouragement, and advice to others. My mother is going to be flighting in on Thursday to help me with the kids over the weekend. I also talked with one of my friends to see if I can get some help (or babysitting help for a couple of hours). Today was a rough day for me. I was feeling very frustrated and overwhelmed. Hopefully things will get better. They will be 5 months tomorrow and they seemed to better fussier now. Maybe they are beginning to teeth. Who knows? Anyway, thanks for the support.
 
1 - 10 of 10 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top