Anyone else avoiding doppler/ultrasound?

My story is prolly different than most of you, seeing as I was in the care of an RE and we concieved using fertility drugs too. I have already had two u/s to see the baby and the heartbeat and I'm almost 10 weeks. They said after seeing the h/b that the chance of anything happening drops to 3% which made me feel good. However, today I'm sort of freaking out. You see the RE discharged me at the last appointment and now I'm in the care of my midwife, whom I really connect with. I won't have an appt with her until 2 weeks from now. It has already been 1.5 weeks since my last u/s and I find myself practically in tears at time worrying that the baby is not ok. Just today when I felt "good" (no nausea, or exhaustion) I am peterified something is wrong even though the odds are WELL in favour of the baby being fine. How do you cope with these fears? Do you have them? I just wonder if I feel this way b/c it took us a long and painful road to get here or if this is normal? I really admire you all for holding out so long and not wanting the confirmation so I'd love to know what you do to reassure yourselves. I'll admit the u/s are addictive and I don't want to depend on them. I'd rather trust my gut. See I know too that if I really freak out I can phone the RE and he'd get me in today for the u/s. But really nothing is wrong, I'm not bleeding or cramping or anything and my bbs are still sore. Anyway, sorry this got long!

Sheacoby, you gave me a chuckle--at least I'm not alone, huh?

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I didn't have fears with my first three pregnancies. Then, in 2004, I had a miscarriage, after having ttc for 2 years. This pregnancy took another year and a half to happen, so yeah, I've got fears now. How to keep them at bay? Well, one, I don't believe that ultrasounds are entirely safe, so reminding myself of that keeps me from wanting one too badly. Two, I remind myself that, whatever is, already is. If something has gone wrong, an ultrasound will not help, yk? Three, I keep reminding myself of the pregnancy symptoms I have (surely, I'm not the only nut who hugs herself periodically to see that her breasts are still sore? ) Ikwym about feeling good and then being nervous that you feel "too" good. I just have to believe that our bodies are doing exactly what they're supposed to do--after all, we were designed to grow babies, right? And, then I take a few deep breaths and remind myself that stress is no good for the baby either, so I'd better chill.

If all else fails, I come here and vent.

to you!

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Yes and yes! You're very likely feeling this fear moreso because of the long road to get there, but it's also quite normal to have those fears.

Btw, your symptoms have probably lessened because you're almost 10 weeks... My nausea was most significant from about 8-10 weeks last pregnancy, and close to 10 weeks was when it started to drift off. So that's totally normal (and it's normal for them to remain for several more weeks too). And the fact that your boobs are still sore is a great sign. I don't have that sign this time around, since I'm still nursing... I haven't had boob pain much at all really. But I have nausea and the fact that I'm expanding... (but don't be scared if you're not - everybody is different there too).

When you see your midwife, she will probably need to use the Doppler to hear the heartbeat if you want to hear it (I know mine gave me the option - she's totally cool with waiting until it can be heard with a fetoscope). In the meantime, just remember - no cramping or bleeding and you've already seen a heartbeat - everything is probably just fine.

I have requested that my doctor use a fetoscope after 20 weeks. Most of my appointments will be at the rural clinic, though some will be at her main "city" office toward the end. She knows there's one at the main office (It's in a case on the wall - kind of a display of an "antique") and wasn't sure about at the rural clinic - but she's really excited to use it since most people don't request that. I even bought my own to bring with to the rural appointments - just in case!

However, I will have two appointments before 20 weeks (13 and 17 weeks) where I will be allowing the doppler. A few reasons: 1) I really want to hear the heartbeat to make sure everything is okay. 2) We record the first heartbeat to share with our family on the baby's site (we did it with my son's pregnancy - and it's the only "for fun" thing we do that is even mildly questionable during pregnancy). 3) I was dumb with my son - I didn't even realize that the doppler they were using for the heartbeat at every appointment from 8 weeks on was u/s. Seriously, they must have used it at least 15 times during the pregnancy. So, I'm justifying that twice won't be that bad.

So, like I said... kinda. I'm not doing ultrasounds - I didn't with Robert. And I'm cutting WAY down on the dopplers - so I feel okay with 2 times =)

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I just replied to sopac's post with a ton of links, but this one speaks directly to what you are asking...

http://www.birthlove.com/free/ultrasound.html

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Same here, I've read the research, and while I wouldn't use continuous u/s on myself like what's used by PTs to help with injuries (that really does heat up tissue), I am not convinced that the 2 u/s's my OB gives is dangerous (where pulsing is used instead of continuous u/s - much less chance of heating). But like you said, everyone has to make the right decision for themselves! Just read the research and see what you get out of it.

Last pregnancy, I was ok with not getting an u/s (although I ended up having 2 of them 4 days before he was born - they needed to check fluid level since my water broke at 29 weeks), but last cycle I had a really early m/c, so it's helpful to me that I got to see the heartbeat last week and know that this baby is sticking, at least for the moment! I'll have one more u/s at 20 weeks, and looking at the info that can be obtained from u/s, I feel more comfortable with this decision. There are some things that can be found on u/s that can either be fixed in utero or fixed immediately after birth IF they're known about ahead of time. And I would hate to miss something like that and possibly lose my baby over it. I just don't think I could live with myself. I wouldn't terminate a pregnancy, so I do refuse the AFP/quadscreen, but other tests I will do. I just won't be getting an u/s just so I can see a picture of the baby or something like that.