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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a lovely, adorable DH that unfortunatelly snores and it drives me crazy and I cannot sleep with him. Punching him at night doesn't help - he goes back to snoring in 10 seconds. Initially we were starting the night together and then I was kicking him out of the bedroom after getting seriously frustrated. But when I was far along in my pregnancy and badly needed to sleep I stopped trying and DH moved permanently to sleep in the office.<br><br>
So now DD is 2 mo and I sleep with her and DH still sleeps in the office. It bothers me a lot and he hates this arrangement. But I don't know what to do, cause I need my night sleep and he still snores loudly. I am really concered. And on top of that my mom told me today that if I "don't sleep with my husband he will go and sleep with other women." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nono.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nono"> - how nice... So what I am suppose to do? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><br><br>
Anyone else in the same boat? Any advices? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">
 

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Has he gone for a sleep study or to see an ent?
 

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My dad always snored really badly; he has to have surgery to remove polyps every 10 years or so. I think seeing an ENT specialist is a good idea.<br><br>
And sleeping in different beds is not in and of itself going to doom a marriage. DH and I go through phases where one of us isn't in our bed. Obviously, if it is bothering your DH, its something that needs to be addressed, but if everyone is sleeping better it is not necessarily a bad arrangement!
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
He doesn't want to go to a doctor and basically doesn't want to do anything about it. Every time I bring the topic, he gets annoyed and says that we should talk about it later cause "now is not a good time". It upsets him a lot, to the level that he is in denial I guess. And upsets me that he doesn't do a thing to solve it.<br><br>
I bought him a snore stopper device, that suppose to give him some very mild electric shock when he snores at night, but it somehow didn't work. We tried for 2 weeks. It took me lots of effort to convince him to try it out (and to keep trying) and I really had high hopes for it. DH was like - first you kick me from our bedroom, then you want to electrocute me... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><br><br>
His snoring is not an apnea for sure. He wakes up in the morning refreshed and besides me it doesn't bother anyone. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/crap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crap"> I am just afraid it will affect our relationship and also that it prevents him from enjoying a family bed with DD.
 

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It doesn't have to be apnea for something to be wrong. My husband snores and has two surgeries and may require more. He doesn't have apnea though.<br><br>
If he won't go to a doctor, I don't know what you can do.<br><br>
My partner snores so loud that he wakes me up no matter where in the house he is, so it is easier for him to be next to mne so I can wake him up.
 

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We're in the same boat! My DH has always slept in the guest bedroom for awhile now (like 3 years now). He starts snoring like as soon as he falls asleep... LOUD too. He sleeps in the guest bed now which is in the back of the house and the master is in the front - sometimes I can hear him snoring as plain as day all the way from the master. One time I even thought he fell asleep on the couch (which is outside the master bedroom) because he was snoring so loudly. It was SO LOUD.<br><br>
I can't sleep next to him. And like you, waking him up in any way doesn't help either. He also moved out of our bed when I was far along into my pregnancy as well. I don't have a solution for but wanted to say that we're going through the same thing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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My husband snores so loud he could wake the dead! He has severe apnea, though. But my friend, a P.A., told me that she knows a dentist who makes some sort of device that holds the jaw in place and stops snoring...I'll ask her to explain it again and post later! We're looking into it for dh (he also uses a CPAP machine).
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>elyag</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10742204"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We're in the same boat! My DH has always slept in the guest bedroom for awhile now (like 3 years now). He starts snoring like as soon as he falls asleep... LOUD too. He sleeps in the guest bed now which is in the back of the house and the master is in the front - sometimes I can hear him snoring as plain as day all the way from the master. One time I even thought he fell asleep on the couch (which is outside the master bedroom) because he was snoring so loudly. It was SO LOUD.<br><br>
I can't sleep next to him. And like you, waking him up in any way doesn't help either. He also moved out of our bed when I was far along into my pregnancy as well. I don't have a solution for but wanted to say that we're going through the same thing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"></div>
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I am so glad I am not alone. It really upsets me this condition. I have to lie to people and hide the fact that we don't sleep together, like saying "we sleep with DD", while it is only me. DH sleeps in the office across a hall from our bedroom. There is no shared wall between us and I have to keep both rooms doors closed. Still, even like this I can hear him snoring.<br><br>
elyag, sorry if it is a personal question, but do you feel that your relationship was negatively impacted by the fact that you sleep separately? Currently I don't feel like that. But it is such a cultural norm for husband and wife to sleep together, that I am concerned "in advance" that we will grow apart just because we don't share the same bedroom. As for the sex life, I guess the fact that we have DD in our bed now, we wouldn't be able to have sex there at night anyway <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> So I am not concerned with that. We now put DD to sleep in our bed and then cuddle in the office.<br><br>
It just so concernes me and I feel guilty for kicking him out of the bedroom. But then, I need to sleep too, right?<br><br>
savvybabygrace - it is an interesting idea. I just cannot see how a jaw is related to snoring. I think he snores "from the nose" somewhere. But heck, why not, I will check it out.
 

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My DH also snores, but usually stops after I poke him a few times. My ex snored <b>very loudly</b>, and finally started using these adhesive strips on his nose that basically hold the passages open so he didn't snore. Have you tried those?
 

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My dh uses snore strips and they really work!
 

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Snoring is a very serious condition. I had the same problem with my dh and he was sleeping in the guest room. He FINALLY went to a doctor for it, did the study and found out that he had 45 instances an HOUR where he would stop breathing. I actually told him before he went to the study that I didn't think he had it b/c I never heard him stop breathing. I was wrong.<br>
Tell your dh that sleep apnea is the leading cause of cardiac disease later on in life. My husband's friend waited too long to get help and now he has to sleep with oxygen and has all sort of circulatory problems (we're talking fluid coming out of his legs.....eck). If I were you, I would insist that he go, because this could impact not only his life but your entire family's if he were to have complications later in life.<br>
Good luck!<br>
Wendi
 

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my DH snores too and he drools as well (in his sleep!). the snoring was/is so loud i never could sleep with him while we were dating, i used a separate bedroom when i slept over then. now we are married and in a new house and still i like the separate bedrooms. he may not be as crazy about the idea as i am but we get by. and we've been together for 10 years now so it hasn't doomed our relationship or our sex life.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
A&A and jaye88 Which snore stripes are you using?<br><br>
wendizbaby - I cannot make him to go to a doctor. He went to a family doctor a while back (took me lots lots of effort to make that happen) and the doc told him to take some hormonal drops or do a surgery. DH (and also me) were not enthusiastic with this idea.<br><br>
Do you think it can be apnea even if he wakes up refreshed? I thought people with apnea feel usually tired in the morning.<br><br>
Does he need to go to a ENT for the apnea evaluation?
 

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my guy has always snored. The more tired he is, the worse it is. I sleep with earplugs and have for so long now that I cant sleep without them. I also found that I sleep deeper and more restful w/ the earplugs in. He also uses the Breathe Right strips and that helps alot.
 

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My honey snores and we have seperate bedrooms. He is taking tiny little baby steps towards a sleep study, we'll see. We've been sleeping seperately for so long now, though, that it would be quite a change to sleep together again!<br><br>
I co-sleep with our little one and he and our older DD share a bedroom (in seperate beds).
 

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I think my ex used the Breathe Right strips, as well. It's been awhile. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Breathe Right strips really work, it's been a miracle in our house. My DH stopped sleeping with ME because of my snoring. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> But now we both put on the stips (he snores too but I sleep through his) and sleep together.<br>
Also, a humidifier is awesome too. We have a hot air vaporizer and it makes nice white noise. We run it every night.<br><br>
He may need a different pillow. Research some options, I think there are some pillows to help snoring specifically. We have tempu-pedic pillows, they don't stop snoring really, but the are much better support for the head and neck, and it might help.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sophi4ka</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10753074"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">A&A and jaye88 Which snore stripes are you using?<br><br>
wendizbaby - I cannot make him to go to a doctor. He went to a family doctor a while back (took me lots lots of effort to make that happen) and the doc told him to take some hormonal drops or do a surgery. DH (and also me) were not enthusiastic with this idea.<br><br>
Do you think it can be apnea even if he wakes up refreshed? I thought people with apnea feel usually tired in the morning.<br><br>
Does he need to go to a ENT for the apnea evaluation?</div>
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I'm not sure how often they actually do surgery anymore. They usually give you a CPAP machine...which is what my dh has. It's about the size of a shoebox and he wears a mask that blows regular air into his mouth. He says he doesn't even notice it and is much more rested. Does you dh dream? Usually, if he can't remember ANY dreams EVER, then he probably isn't getting into a deep enough sleep. I'm not sure about the ENT for the eval.<br><br>
Wendi
 

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Surgery depends on what is causing the snoring. My partner's is not caused by apnea, but stuff that can be surgically corrected.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>sophi4ka</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10751303"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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elyag, sorry if it is a personal question, but do you feel that your relationship was negatively impacted by the fact that you sleep separately? Currently I don't feel like that. But it is such a cultural norm for husband and wife to sleep together, that I am concerned "in advance" that we will grow apart just because we don't share the same bedroom. As for the sex life, I guess the fact that we have DD in our bed now, we wouldn't be able to have sex there at night anyway <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> So I am not concerned with that. We now put DD to sleep in our bed and then cuddle in the office.<br></div>
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Well, yes and no. Our relationship was negatively impacted by other things and that just kinda added on to it. But it wasn't the root cause of it. We were just growing apart since the birth of our DD but have since made an effort to reconnect with each other. Basically, he helps me out more around the house and I in return would have time to have sex with him more. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> (I'm a WAHM and I never even had time to myself since I had so much to do). But anyhoo.....that's a whole other story. We have since solved our other problems and now everything is fine even with him sleeping in the other room. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"><br><br>
The breathing strips don't work for him. I think it's because he doesn't get much sleep. When we go out of town to visit relatives and he's forced to go to bed at a decent hour, he doesn't snore nearly as much or as loud. But if he refuses to get more sleep when he's at home, there's really nothing that *I* can do about it. And he knows he can't complain about sleeping in the other room when it's bascially his choice to get a decent nights sleep. KWIM?
 
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