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Discussion Starter #1
Hello,

I am expecting my second child in November, and ever since I've been in contact with my healthcare providers it has been a struggle to stay positive. First they were worried it was ectopic and wanted me to have a scan (I am declining scans and the "pain" turned out to be gas, anyway.) which I turned down (I had a natural water homebirth with my first child and no scans throughout) and none of them can get their heads around the fact I am doing things differently.

It is like getting blood for a stone asking for a bit of positivity. Even the midwives are baffled by me and cannot offer any helpful, alternative advice. Has anyone else suffered this? It was the same in my first pregnancy (which was low risk, like this one) even though I lived in a different area.

I feel like I am dancing with depression right now and it has been very helpful to read the threads here from other like minded mothers. I am very glad to have found a base that understands things like co-sleeping, long-term breastfeeding and baby-wearing. Thank you for the support already given. I do want another baby, especially for my son (we conceived on the first try, so very much wanted) but I have to admit I am not enjoying the anxiety of pregnancy as I am an anxious person at the best of times.

Sorry for the depressing rant. Does anyone ever get told good news? Thanks.

xxx
 

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Sometimes providers are just not a good match. You can tell them directly what you are looking for, that will absolutely help, and if they can't be that for you I hope they tell you so.

Are they homebirth or hospital providers?

I definitely stretched some of my homebirth midwives minds when I said (a few of ago) that I wanted to do unassisted pg and birth. They had to adjust, to be supportive. But they got there.

Just remember for some people... they get stuck looking for problems vs educating or proactively treating people. It's our system's fault.
 
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With my first, I went to a practice of 5 midwifes. We loved the first one eho we had for our forst 5 appointments. But the others... not so muh. And of course one of the midwifes we didn't really jive with was on call when we went into labor.

This time around I am doing a homebirth and going to start interviewing midwifes this week. I want to go with a solo practice to make sure we are with the mw we like.

If possible, I would look for different provoders. Try to team up with someone you jive with.

In the end for me, it really didn't matter last time- and I got what I wanted and my birh plan was followed. If need be- perhaps look into getting a doula who can have your back whoever you birth with.
 

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It sounds like they are not the right providers for you. Not all midwives or midwife practices are equal, and it sounds like you want someone lower intervention.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
Thanks for all the helpful replies, I am currently looking into hiring an independent midwife. Many thanks xx
 
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