[Drewsmom]

I love my dh and he can be an awesome Dad but I wish he'd take the time to *read* some parenting books. He can sometimes be totally unrealistic with age appropriate behavior and he needs to think of some fun ways of creating alternatives and to stop backing our children into a corner and power struggle.

I feel like I am sometimes the only voice of reason except for those times when I go off the deep end and occasionally he's the more reasonable one.

It's just frustrating. How do you talk to your partner about parenting strategies and have them not noly listen but start changing their parenting style!

:

 

[onlyzombiecat]

I get frustrated too. I haven't found a solution yet.

 

[Lisie]

I agree! It can be so frustrating. And SO HARD to get him to read any books!! JUST TODAY I had a very gentle conversation with him about it because I keep noticing that he issues ds ultimatums all the time, setting both of them up for failure. All it is does is confuse our son and undermines dh's authority because ds does not abide by the ultimatum, and we're not "punishing" anyway so it makes no sense!!

So today while we were driving I first asked him if he wants to do gentle discipline and believes in it as a better alternative. He said he did and then I started talking about what "we can do" in situations and how to do things in a gd type of way rather than in the "traditional discipline" way. He listened and I think it sunk in. In the past I have noticed him trying the type of things I talk about as long as I continue to kind of gently urge him in that direction. But is very annoying that it is always my responsibility to learn things like this and then teach him. He will listen as long as I'm not accusing him of anything or telling him he did something wrong, per se. I do think it's very important that they are "on board" first in order for them to actually change their behavior.

Is that any help?? I guess we're all in the same boat!

 

[sweetpea333]

yes i agree... my hubby is always thinking that my toddler should be behaving better, and wondering why she throws tantrums, and he thinks it's not common for a 2 year old to do

:

also he is always saying stuff that makes me so angry... i overheard him in the grocery store once saying "allie if you dont get into that cart a monster is gonna get you"

(he thinks he is funny, he doesnt understand that a 2 year old doesnt get his jokes). he never said that again after i was finished with him!!

 

[Roar]

What about printing very short articles or copying two page sections of books and putting them on the fridge, in the bathroom, etc.

A few suggestions for where to get short articles:
http://www.alfiekohn.org/index.html
http://www.positivediscipline.com/
http://www.naturalchild.org/

 

[Trac]

My friend and I were discussing this not too long ago. Our DH's both want usto do the reading and just give them the "rules." Mine seems to want me to make him a list: When DS does x, we do y. Doesn't really work that way, darlin'!

Anyway, my friend's DH spends a lot of time on the road, and she said that she bought him a parenting book on CD, which he seemed to be more open to. I've been meaning to ask her how that went, as my DH is on the road a lot, too...

 

[Babytime]

Glad to hear I'm not the only one! I often feel like I'm the only parent in the house and it gets frustrating and exhausting. Wish I had a solution but only sympathy!

 

[momma2girls]

My Dh typically follows by example. Sometimes though after a long day my example isn't very good. For the most part he does pretty well though I would like it if he watched less TV. Usually what I see him doing that I don't like if I step back and look at it I do the same thing so I have to be more conscious of what I do so that he will follow.

Andrea

 

[lurable]

:
That's exactly waht I was going to write!

Also, I keep track of important concepts in books/articles that I read and then before bed or when he's taking a bath (somewhere where I know he's relaxed and I can hold him captive

) I read them to him.

 

[mommabug2006]

My DH is the exact same way he expects our children to be able to go out and act like perfect angels never touch any thing say anything or do anything that could be deemed misbehavior and they are still pretty little 6,5,4 and 5 months I jsut don't understand men!!