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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
sometimes sleeps all night and sometimes here lately wants to be up for 1-2 hours in the middle of the night. We are having a hard time with Noah right now. What do you do to make sure you and them get more sleep. I can't cosleep because I'd never sleep with him in the bed with us. I wake up when my dh key goes in the lock of our door so I'd wake up with every breath he takes, yk. I'm trying to break the cycle of spanking in my family. Some days I'm successful some days I'm not. Please don't flame me I'm trying to do the best I can with the way I was parented. My wonderful dear mother the other day told me you're not worth .60/minute to talk to...saying this to me when she's out of town and i'm caring for her animals. She's so negative I almost don't want my kids around her and she firmly believes in spanking. She made a comment the other day about that Noah's hardly ever spanked. I kind of thought to myself yay I must be doing something right if she's never seen him spanked. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> I admit most of the time if he is spanked it's out of anger and I should be the one to be spanked. He's a very strong willed child and he frustrates me alot. I guess I'm venting...thanks for listening. I'm going to check out the gd boards alot more. I feel like a failure going there sometimes.
 

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hi Dina<br>
Cody does this also....I wish I could give you some advice but nothings currently working for us! I do notice that if he's had a super busy active day then he tends to sleep thru the night. Oh and if he takes his nap "on schedule" during the day, then he sleeps good thru the night.....the problem here is really getting him to sleep in a reasonable amount of time.<br>
He doesn't co-sleep since he turned two and he cries and cries when we walk away from his bed. It's very frustrating.<br><br>
Anyways, no flames on the spanking. We don't spank our children but trust me there are days where I want to! (did I just say that) Whenever I feel that kind of anger build up in me, I walk outside and breathe and breathe and breathe and then turn on noggin for Cody and take some time away from him.<br><br>
I'm sure you know why spanking is more harmful than good and you're trying to break the cycle which is great for your family. Try some of the "relaxation" techniques I use.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I feel better. I watched Nanny 911 tonight and realized I'm not the bad mommy I make myself out to be. I'm trying to be a better mommy everyday. He doesn't get spanked nearly as much as my first. Which is sad for my first but I was soooooooooo mainstream back then. Public school teacher (I was) I fully believed if you didn't spank then there was something wrong with you. now I'm redirecting and letting things go more than I ever would have with my first. Anyway thank you for your kind words. It was such a jumbled post I'm surprised you could make heads or tails. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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If you want help on not spanking, try the Gentle Discipline forum. There are lots of former spankers there who will support you, and lots of good ideas about what else you can do to help your children behave well. Oh I see you were on your way there! I hope you will not feel like a failure. Everyone who posts there is there for help and support and we generally get it!<br><br>
About the night waking: Oh yeah! My son is just about to be 22 months and he has the craziest sleeping stuff. Some nights he sleeps really well and predictably. But some nighs, if there was an exciting day, or he has a new skill he's working on, or the moon is shining brightly through the slats of the blinds, he wakes right up! The last time he had a new toy and he woke up to talk about it!
 

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Dinade,<br>
My 2 y.o. has always done this night-waking thing, too. We don't co-sleep so I didn't realize she was doing it until I got a video baby monitor and could see her without going into her room (which always makes her wake up!). I'll give her 15 or 20 minutes to get herself back to sleep, but if she doesn't I'll go in, reposition her with her dolls, blankies, etc., turn on a lullaby CD, say "nitey nite; go to sleep now", and leave. Sometimes it works; sometimes not. If it doesn't work after a couple of times and she isn't crying or upset or anything, I just let her fiddle in her crib. Sleep can't be forced, but I think that resting quietly in a darkened room is the next best thing.<br><br>
Oddly enough, if she gets a good solid 2-hr afternoon nap she sleeps much better at night than if she'd gotten a flipping and flopping 90 minute nap.<br><br>
Good luck to you and Noah. Also, I hope you're proud of yourself for facing the spanking issue dead-on. It takes a lot of courage, and I admire you for it. I'd pay way more than $.60/minute to talk to you on the phone!!<br><br>
Do I see from your sig line that you're adopting from Russia? My daughter was born in Guatemala so I'm very partial to other international adopters.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
We are just starting the adoption process with Russia. We chose them because they will allow us to adopt 2 children at the same time. We are so excited and can't wait.<br><br>
I appreciate your kind words. My mom is toxic a lot of the time and she frustrates me to no end. It's a wonder how we all turn out isn't it. Thank you too for the example. We go in his room, find his binkie, give him is blanket, cover him up and turn his cd on as well. I notice the night waking is worse if he's sick, teething, and like you said not napping well. It's just so frustrating when it's 5x per night 2-3 nights in a row. Most nights I deal well it's on the 3rd night when I've had it I don't deal so well. Gotta run Noah is calling me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Hugs,
 

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Dinade,<br>
I don't mean to hijack your thread about Noah's sleeping, but I do want to congratulate you on the upcoming adoptions. And 2 older children! That is so cool! See what an awesome person you are? Please pat yourself on the back SEVERAL times a day.<br><br>
I don't have other children to contend with like you do, but I found the adoption process to be the most challenging emotional rollercoaster I'd ever been on. The highs were so high and the lows were so low and I sometimes cycled between the two on the same day.<br><br>
I guess my somewhat longwinded point is to please be very gentle with yourself right now. You've got so much going on that you probably don't even realize how much there is; that's how I felt, anyway. I wholeheartedly subscribe to the "do what it takes to get by" theory when times are tough: does Noah want to sleep on your other son's floor or vice versa for a while? does Noah want you and/or your DH to sleep on his floor? does Noah want to stay up later? does Noah want to wear his favorite daytime outfit to bed as a special treat? maybe he'd like to rearrange the furniture in his room or choose a new nightlight? This all probably sounds kinda loony, but when my DD is in a rut of behavior that I'd like her to get out of, sometimes an "intervention" helps break the habit.<br><br>
Please keep us updated on the news from Russia. I'm so very excited for you and your family!
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I know I responded to your thread and I"m looking today and it's not here. Humm. Anyway I greatly appreciated your take on it. I guess with the holidays here it doesnt take much to push me over the edge a bit...yk?<br><br>
We know we will be so blessed by our two little girls. We just wish they were already here. Don't even have referral yet but we are ready to bring them home. LOL<br><br>
Thank you again. I might try the sleeping with brother thing. After all when the girls get here he will be sleeping with brother from then on. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> mama.<br><br>
Connor does the same thing at night sometimes, every once in awhile he has night terrors <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> but a lot of the time he just wakes up.<br><br>
It's usually because of the fact that a) he didn't get a good nap because he got down late or woke up early for some reason. Good day sleep helps with good night sleep. B) As a PP mentioned, it usually happens when he's had a lot of activity that day or a lot of new things.<br><br>
We'll go in his room and keep the lights off, if we talk to him we use very soft voices and keep the talking to a minimun. We will sing or hum softly to him while we rock or sit with him. 9 times out of 10 this gets him back down. Unless like this morning, when he's up at 5 am it's pretty much a lost cause!<br><br>
I was also thinking could they be waking up becasue of growing pains?
 

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DD does this when she's teething. She usually sleeps like a rock & we just had a period of 8 weeks straight of waking up several times a night. Not for long stretches of time, thankfully. But, this week, she started waking up & crying for 1-2 hours!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"> Turns out she has a nasty ear infection. Are any teeth coming? Any big developmental milestones happening?
 
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