[pelirroja]

If so, would you like to share approaches, affirmations, heartbreak and (hopefully) success stories? If you've recently nightweaned, I'd love to hear your success story too!

I am on night 4 of nightweaning my 18 m.o. She has been waking on average every hour and a half. She just cut her last molar last week, and happens to not have a cold right now, so I figured this was my chance. Plus, I've reached my limit on night nursing - as much as I LOVE being able to soothe her back to sleep so easily, I just can't handle waking up so much at night anymore.

Here's my approach: For a couple weeks, I have been removing the boob when she starts drifting off, giving it back if she fusses but removing it again. and again. until she finally rolls over and goes to sleep on her own. The last three nights, when she has woken at night I've nursed her for about a minute and then told her "nursies all done. nursies are asleep". I'm trying to soothe her to sleep by rubbing her back or singing to her, but several times I've had to pick her up and rock her back to sleep. Dh has also bounced her to sleep a couple times. There's definitely been crying, but I've only let it last a few minutes at a time (before picking her up).

Starting tonight, I won't nurse her between bedtime and sunrise, but I will continue to pick her up as needed. I've been talking her through this and reminded her at bedtime tonight that she wouldn't nurse again until the light was coming in the windows. I think she gets it. I have a sippy cup of chamomile tea at the ready if she wants it.

The hardest part for me was when dd said "more nursies please. more pleeeeeeeeese. little bit. switch sides. more pleeeeeeese" in her most sincere, saddest voice. Totally heartbreaking.

So - that's my story. I'd love to hear yours!

 

[Pumpkin_Pie]

I am doing a modified sort of night weaning right now. DS was taking an hour or more to nurse down at night and then when he was almost asleep, he would pop up and say, "Carry downstairs?" I would then bring him with me downstairs while I finished up my chores for the evening and then bring him back up to bed where he would again nurse for as long as two hours.

He would also wake once or twice at night to nurse for easily an hour or longer every single night, and I was completely losing it. My nipples were feeling trashed, and I was so exhausted that I would just cry or yell at him.

Starting last night, I am doing our regular bedtime routine, and instead of bringing him back down when he asks, I am telling him that it is bedtime and no more nursing. I let him nurse until he is sleepy, but then no more until he wakes again. Last night it was an hour and a half of crying while I sat with him, but the two wakings last night were brief, and he only cried for about 10 seconds, which was fabulous!

It is so hard. I just can't figure out how to do it. I tried the Pantley Pull-off method, but he wouldn't do it. I would do it over and over and over and over and over.... but he would scream every single time. No matter how close to sleep he was, he would sit bolt upright and scream when I would try to unlatch him. I hate letting him cry, but I am right there with him, and I am at my wits end. I just can't keep nursing this much at night.

Good luck to you mama. It sounds like you are on a good track with your little one.

 

[pelirroja]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pumpkin_Pie DS was taking an hour or more to nurse down at night and then when he was almost asleep, he would pop up and say, "Carry downstairs?" I would then bring him with me downstairs while I finished up my chores for the evening and then bring him back up to bed where he would again nurse for as long as two hours. He would also wake once or twice at night to nurse for easily an hour or longer every single night, and I was completely losing it.

That sounds terrible. You're totally right to make a change. A friend of mine said to me the other day, "Try something for two weeks, and that'll be the new way things are done." I try to keep that in mind...if I can just get through two weeks of transition, we can all settle into a sleep situation that's better for us all. Changes are hard, but so is sleep deprivation!

I hope tonight goes well for you. Stick with it!

 

[CanidFL]

I am not night weaning yet but will be in a few weeks. I have been making baby steps to get DS adjusted. I started unlatching him before he is back in a deep sleep and sometimes he rolls over and goes to sleep and sometimes he cries. I've also been sleeping on the other side of the bed when DH and I get into bed so that the order is now DS, DH then me. I found this already eliminated a session because DS always nursed as soon as I got in bed next to him. So now he is going from about 9:30pm-1am with no nursing.

DS is not verbal at all yet so not sure how that will factor in. I have no idea if he understands me when I say "milk all done"

I understand the need to make a change. My body is telling me it's ready with all my illnesses the past month. It just doesn't feel right anymore.

I hope the next couple weeks go smoothly for you

 

[Dolphin]

I'm starting the process too. My 19 mo is waking every hour and a half all night long, and i just can't do it anymore. I have a kindergartener that I have to get up and ready for school at 6:15 in the mornings, and my body is just telling me enough is enough. I feel awful that my toddler still doesn't have all his teeth and probably won't for another 6 months, but I can't wait that long. We have had one illness after another around here, and my fuse is way too short.

I honestly don't have a concrete plan, but for the past couple of nights, I have tried to nurse ds to sleep around 9:30, and then tell him mommy milk is night-night when he wakes again. I haven't been too good about sticking with it though, because he and ds1 share a room (with me in there most of the time too), and ds2 gets so upset that he will wake up ds1. So I need to figure out a better plan.

I'm glad to have this board for support though...

 

[Edmontonmother]

Hi,

My dd is 26m and we had been slowly night nursing her for 3-4 months. I found the pull-offs etc made little difference. She is very verbal and that works the best for us.

First, we switched from nursing to sleep to walking/ricking to sleep. We did this for about 6 months.

Second, we got her falling asleep in her crib for naps and betime.(Instead of walking) This took about a month to do it consistently. When she would wake up (after 2 hours) I would nurse her all night. She knew that is should could just fall asleep and get milk whenever she woke up. This took a lot on the stress out of bedtime because she knew we were not in for some sort of night-long fight.

Third, she was verbal and so I told that tonight when she woke up I would just sit by her crib and sing and talk to her about the nighttime, and what we would do the next day. She didn't have to fall asleep but she did have to stay in her crib and no eating. (we do cosleep though I found convincing her crib was a 'special place' really worked and she did not associate it with nursing)

RESULT: The first 2 nights were hard, when she woke up the was about 2 hours of a mix of crying "eat from momma" to giggling, to bouncing in her crib, to me singing and her singing along. Again, Iwas not forcing her to sleep but just trying to keep her in her crib, happy and not eating form momma. She eventually agreed to get a new diaper in her crib (which meant laying down) and I sang her to sleep.

It has been a month, progress is still gradual. We set the alarm (music) for 3am and say "it's morning time" and let her come in bed and nurse. We would like to push this time back but it has been hard.

She still wakes maybe two times between 8 and 3am. Usually she agress to lay back down and I sing her to sleep or tell her a story. It usually takes under 10 minutes.

Good Luck! We have slowly made improvements though I think we are a longway off her sleeping all through the night. I guess she keeps waing up because she like me singing!

 

[MaterPrimaePuellae]

Like you, I found my DD between teeth and with no cold, so decided to give it a go.

That first night, I talked to her before bed-- "No more nursing at night-- nursing is for day time." She nursed so irregulalry during the night (sometimes 5 times, sometimes she STTN) that we couldn't really cut back "one feeding at a time".
I was prepared to back off of the nightweaning if she seemed very upset, but the first night she woke up, said, "Nuhs! Nuhs!" I said, "No nursing at night time-- we'll nurse in the morning. Do you want me to rub your back?" "Yeah!" And she was asleep in 10 minutes with very minimal upset. I was *shocked*. It has been a few weeks-- she still asks sometimes, but last night when she woke up I crawled into her bed (she sleeps in a twin), she rolled over next to me, gave me a pat, and said, "No nurse!" I rubbed her back, we cuddled to sleep. I have been very happy that we did it. She is sleeping much better, and I was worried about her teeth.

 

[pelirroja]

How did all your nights go? Mine went ok. It was our first night of no nursing from bedtime until dawn. Dd woke up four times, and each subsequent waking took longer to get her back to sleep. She fell asleep once with me rubbing her neck, and twice she fell asleep in my arms. The fourth time, dh picked her up and couldn't get her back to sleep, so then I picked her up. After an hour of trying to get her to sleep, I was so relieved to see the light start to seep in through the shades. I laid down with dd and nursed her (after pointing out the morning light to her), hoping to get a little more sleep. No such luck. It was a long, exhausting night but I feel good about our accomplishment. Let's hope for fewer wakings and quicker returns to sleep tonight.

 

[paxagrarian]

I'm not night weaning right now, but I did night wean my daughter when she was about 2 1/2. I did pretty much what you did and it took a couple weeks, but eventually she was night weaned. I know it is hard - exhausting and heart breaking at times, but you are still there for her, loving her through it. I just wanted to give you a hug and say you're doing a great job mama. You'll all get there - just keep loving her through it like you're doing.

HUGS!

 

[pelirroja]

Last night went slightly better. We nursed at bedtime and then dd slept 3 hours. It took an hour to get her back to sleep, but then she slept another 3 hours. (Which is much better than her usual hour and a half stretches). After that second waking, we were up for a couple hours. Dd would fall asleep in my arms or lying on me but then wake up if I tried to lay her on the bed. Finally we got up and ate some cottage cheese and drank some chamomile tea. Then, a miracle occurred. Dd laid down in bed next to me, stayed very still and drifted off to sleep - entirely on her own, with no help from me! I think this is the first time it has EVER happened. The next time she woke, it was morning and we giddily cuddled up for a long nursing session.

:yawning: Hope the rest of you are doing well.

 

[pelirroja]

Pumpkin_pie and Dolphin, how's the nightweaning going?

I have learned two important lessons this past week:
1) Nightweaning in December, when nights are longest, is probably not the best idea. Morning is a long long way away when bedtime is 7 pm! Last night we only made it till 4am.

2) A nightweaned child has stinky morning breath (which I've especially noticed since she falls asleep on me much of the time now and breathes on my face). I miss the sweet milky breath.

ETA: Sorry if this thread is becoming more of a blog...I hope someone finds it helpful!

 

[CanidFL]

How is night weaning going for you ladies?

My son was showing signs of being ready and it just felt right so we started last Friday. It's been going great and I've been really relaxed about it. We are making great progress and last night he didn't nurse from 7:30pm till 4am. He woke up at 10, 12 and 3 and went back to sleep with no fuss in about 5 minutes.

I know he was ready because the most he fussed for was 15 minutes the first night.

I'm so happy we decided to do this. I feel refreshed and I really think he is sleep better now.

I hope this trend will continue….

 

[azmomtoone]

haven't started yet but really wanting too, so subbing.... we planned to start on his 2nd b-day but DS had other plans & started potty training instead; I figured one at a time is enough challenge...... but definitely getting ready. It'll be a bit of a unique challenge here, sinch DH works evenings and gets home around 11:30 pm, usually goes to bed between midnight and one...so we all end up waking up then anyway.... to me, if I could get him to nurse then, and then sleep til I get up for work at 5:30 I'd be very happy....as it is he's usually up another two or three times between there, w/ cosleeping it's not so bad mostly except that he wakes up between 4 and 4:30 am and nurses Forever, usually just fallling back asleep when it's time for me to get up. And I'm just too tired at work lately... so I'm watching & gathering ideas, look forward to hearing what's working well for everyone!

 

[CanidFL]

I don't know about you ladies but DS has substituted laying on me for nursing which is fine by me. He will only go back to sleep if he is laying on me and I can normally roll him off 15 or so min later

I'm actually loving this part of the night now. I get in really good cuddles but don't feel the need to throw him off me because he is no longer nursing during that time

:

 

[georgiegirl1974]

I'm doing it tonight. DD is 2.5 and I'm in my first trimester and nursing at night is killing me. I tried to nightwean in Sept, but after two weeeks, she was still crying a lot every night, and I gave up. But now that her nursing at night makes me feel nauseous, it will be easier to resist popping the boob in her mouth when she's tantruming.

 

[CanidFL]

Good luck! We had another good night. Not much crying and no nursing from 7:30pm-4am. I am still shocked at how simple this was for us. I was expected a lot of resistance from DS but he doesn't seem to care at all

 

[sugarmoon]

Me, me!

I've been working on night weaning my 14 month old for about 2 weeks now. I decided to use a modified version of Dr. Jay Gordon's plan, where you dont' go for the whole night, but chose a chunk of hours that are most important to you. I chose from bedtime until midnight, as I really need to be able to get things done in the evening, and can't have a baby who only sleeps on the boob.

It has gone pretty well. We definitely have had some crying, but I hold him snugly and shhhh shhhh to him and he goes back to sleep pretty quickly. I tried lullaby singing, but find that wakes him up more.

last night we made it until 3 am w/o nursing. He did wake a few times, but was able to get back to sleep pretty quickly w/ just cuddles.

:

 

[georgiegirl1974]

Last night (first night of nightweaning take 2) was horrible. DD (2.5) screamed hysterically for an hour, and she wouldn't let me comfort her at all. Any time I'd get near her, she'd try to hit me. It took me another hour to get her to bed. She woke up one other time, and she was up for an hour. She screamed for a while, but it wasn't as bad as the first time. So she was up for 3 hours last night. It needs to happen now because nursing at night is making me nauseous.

I really envy those of you who are having an easy time.

 

[CanidFL]

sorry it isn't going so well. What about nursing her to sleep the first time she goes down and than not nursing when she wakes up at night? At least that would cut out the frustration of getting her to sleep the first time.

 

[Qbear'smama]

My nightweaning attempts have been all over the map. DD is 32 months and is basically nightweaned and has been for a week or so, but this is probably the 4th time I have tried. It is still early days for us, but it is infinitely easier than it was a few months ago. Cosleeping makes it harder, of course, which we do. The Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning by Kathleen Huggins and Linda Ziedrich had some value for me, but I gave up a few times when DD either got sick or took it really badly (I totally identify with georgiegirl1974,

I got the same reaction and gave up because of it) Believe me, dd is a hardcore nurser and I was concerned that I would never nightwean, but it is amazing what a change it was this time from the last try a few months ago. IT's not perfect yet, but we're getting there and it's not torture like it was before. I nurse dd to almost-sleep and then refuse her when she wakes up, but lay her back down (she sits up) and soothe her w/o letting her get at the breasts. I have found at times trying to soothe her just makes her more angry so I've offered silent support (holding her hand but saying nothing) I have a pyjama shirt that buttons up the front that she can't get into (this is important at the beginning and still now at times).
The rule is when the alarm goes off in the morning, she can nurse, and this has caused a Pavlovian reaction to the alarm, but I have had undisturbed sleep for the first time in almost three years!

Oh, I mean apart from DH's snoring and the dog's nighttime escapades

The diffrerence this time she's not teething and not sick and has somehow accepted the limits better; last time she was miserable and screamed for an hour or more and it was too much like CIO to me I couldn't do it. I was so hopeless about it ever working. This time she still protests, but falls back asleep in a short time (2-3 minutes) and sleeps more deeply.
A long post to say, hang in there, one way or another it can be done, but if it is too hard this time, the next time could be the charm.