[painted horse]

After Sophia's passing, we had her cremated. Well, we have yet to bury her little urn anywhere.....it sits on my alter to her in our bedroom. I knew that we were not going to stay here in Sacramento; it is not our "forever home". So the thought of burying her and leaving her behind when we finally moved I found abhorent......thus, we still have her ashes. Does anyone else have the ashes of their beloved babes around the house? Or should I start refering to myself as Morticia from the Adamm's Family.....? (Funny, I always did like that particular show when I was growing up...)

Thanks for the feedback. I find myself giggling sometimes at the image of placing her urn on the mantle in the living room.......reminds me of that scene with the cat in "Meeting the Parents" with Ben Stiller. Of course, her urn is sealed, so I guess the cats knocking it over and using the ashes as a litter box is somewhat far-fetched..........does anyone else ever see the comedy or the "reverent irreverence" in our situations? 'Cause, wow! sometimes I've just gotta laugh! Even about Sophie........especially about Sophie.......

 

[HaveWool~Will Felt]

Thank you for sharing your laughter...I, too, need to laugh a good one here and there. Some don't find our comedy very funny...their loss..not ours.
Our precious Gracie was cremated also. We did however have her ashes buried in a cemertary next to my maternal grandmother. I do feel that if my grandmother hadn't been buried here in Oregon, we too would of held onto to her ashes.
I understand not wanting to part with her ashes due to the fact that Sacramento isn't your "home".
All I can offer is that I would hold onto to Sophie's ashes until you are in a place where you feel "home". Understand....?
My dh & I have no family that live here in the town we do. BUT...it is our home.
I remember when I gave birth to my two other children, I saved their placentas. With our first son, we hadn't purchased our "home" yet...so it sat in the freezer until we did....almost 2 years later. We then planted a special tree with his placenta...once our second son was born we did the same.
So...I think in regards to Sophie's ashes...IT IS OK TO HOLD ONTO TO THEM. Search your heart and you will hear what YOU need to do....not anyone else.

Love to you Sophie's mama...

 

[kama'aina mama]

I am not nor have I ever been in your shoes... but you sound very sane and normal to me. You are doing you must do to cope with a situation that could easily destroy you. Anyone who has anything to say about that... well.. I'll watch my language. But when life gets that difficult you do what works for you. And you know what? If you still have that urn in 60 years and you end up buried with it... that's fine too. You will do what works for you and that will help you.

 

[painted horse]

Thank you both for your support. I kinda figured that I probably wasn't the only one.......but it helps to get a reality check sometimes!

Jackie, I've heard of PLENTY of people who save their baby's placenta - in fact, I know of someone who accidentally put one in the oven once and started to bake it!! Honest! In fact, I believe it was my midwife's teenage son, if I remember correctly. Whups! He never did that again......Kama, thank you for your words regarding if I'm buried with her in 60 years, that's ok too! I may never want to part with Sophie's ashes. Right now anyway, I like the idea of keeping her close. To me, that feels like the sanest thing to do.......

Warm regards and blessings to you,

Jen

 

[iris0110]

I had Arawyn cremated, and her ashes sit on the mantle in our living room. Dh sometimes asks if we are going to keep them, or eventually spread them. I told him that we would spread them when we found the perfect place to do so. But if we never find the perfect place, then when I die I want her ashes mixed with mine and cast on the four winds. Until then they sit on our mantle in their pretty baby block urn. I bought her a flowered hair garland at Scarborough Faire this year. I know that I would have bought her one if she had been living so I bought it and put it around her urn. I also bought a pretty figurine to sit on top of her urn. It is a little cat dressed up in a pretty little old fashioned dress. she is holding a flower pot with a purple tulip in it. The title of the figurine is "Love Blooms Forever" I thought it was perfect for my angle.

My family is all burried in PA and I know we won't be here in Tx forever, but I couldn't stand to burry her in Pa and not be able to visit her. Having her ashes here was really the only option. I hope one day we find the perfect place to spread her ashes, but i know that her spirit has already flown, and that brings me peace.