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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
And I don't mean struggle TO gain weight. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
This is my fourth pregnancy, and I have gained 40+ lbs with each of my kids. My babies have been on the bigger side, between 8.5 and 9.5 lbs. I've always lost the weight (or nearly all of it--I was about 5 lbs over my healthiest weight when I got pregnant this time), within a year or so of giving birth. So on an intellectual level, I know this doesn't last forever.<br><br>
However, I'm really having a hard time accepting my weight and size this time around. I feel so huge already--I've gained 30 lbs so far--and I'm only 31 weeks. When I step back and get objective, I don't think I look "fat," I look healthy and pregnant! But there is a number thing going on in my head with the scale, and it's really giving me some anxiety. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I think my fear is how I hate my body the first couple months after birth. I feel floppy, sloppy, and not "myself."<br><br>
I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, because I know I ought to be thankful for healthy pregnancies and healthy babies. I ought to respect how amazing my body is for undergoing such dramatic changes to nurture new life. But it's seriously messing with my head to think about how big I'm going to get.<br><br>
Anybody have any tips or advice, or just commiseration?
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br>
I've given up stressing about my weight and I told my doctor to basically stick any comments he might have about it up his a$$. I eat extremely healthy, I exercise- what more can a mama do? It sounds like you are just one of those women who gain a bit more than others- I think I'm like this too. In my normal non-pregnant state I gain easily as well, but I also lose weight easily.<br><br>
I'm not looking forward to looking/feeling how you describe after birth either- "floppy" and "sloppy",<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> - but it seems like that might just be part of the whole deal. I'm pretty motivated to try and get back to where I think I feel and look good...but yeah, it'll suck in the meantime. I hate when people say this <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">- but I'm trying to focus on the positive right now. I'll deal with the floppiness and sloppiness when the time comes.
 

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I've gained 20 kg / 44 lbs so far and am not looking forward to the initial post-partum period either. It's not just being floppy and moody, the hormones mess my skin up so badly, it makes adolescence seem like a breeze.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thank you both for responding. I hope I didn't offend anyone with my "floppy" and "sloppy" comments--I've never looked at another postpartum woman and been judgmental the way I am toward myself. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
I know it's unrealistic to expect to go from pregnant and giving birth to being like my pre-baby self instantly. And I do think my body just needs a little more weight gain during pregnancy than some women might. I think your advice about taking it as it comes, expat-mama, is really sound, and something I need to focus on.<br><br>
Again, thanks for replying. It helps just to have someone to listen who might know where I'm coming from. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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bleh. I hate having to weigh myself! With my last two pregnancies I would turn my head while being weighed at the office... No problem, I didn't know my gain! This time I am at home, and I just tell her my # during our visits. I miss not knowing. I am trying NOT to obsess over it, but I have been making some really baaaad food choices these last few weeks. I eat very healthy, smoothies, supplements, and all. Then I have dessert. Everyday, sometimes twice a day. cakes, cookies, shakes, puddings. I am out of control!!! My biggest concern in all this is the postpartum time. When its time to face a mirror, try to find regular clothes, or be intimate. That is why I should put the cake down. But, I don't! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Eat"><br><br>
By this time next year I'll have a big fat baby, and a beer. I know I'll be over it!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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By this time next year I'll have a big fat baby, and a beer. I know I'll be over it!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"></div>
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lol.. love that!
 

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I'm accepting my 35lb at 32 week weight gain (for the most part). I tend to get depressed when I wear a sleeveless shirt and look in the mirror to see all the arm flab! The baby belly and butt don't bother me so much- they come with the territory. It's just a matter of time before we feel comfortable again and you know how very well worth it this is!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>expat-mama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15446512"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br>
I've given up stressing about my weight and I told my doctor to basically stick any comments he might have about it up his a$$.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/clap.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="clap"><br><br>
Good for you! My doc doesn't even weigh me and it has made such a huge difference in my confidence this pregnancy. I gained 60lbs the first time (eating poorly and being lazy) and this time I've only gained 20lbs but not having someone standing over my shoulder checking my weight has made me feel much calmer about it all.
 

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Yes! I struggle with accepting my weight gain!<br><br>
I've gained 37 pounds and I'm at 33 weeks right now. I eat a lot. Too much. I eat lots of good, nutritious foods...and then I add dessert. But I'm also fairly active. I go to the gym once or twice a week and walk a lot.<br><br>
I don't think I look too big. I just look pregnant. My face and arms and thighs have definitely gotten fatter, but not to the point where it looks like a problem. I basically have a big belly and big breasts plus some extra padding that wasn't there before.<br><br>
Despite being able to admit that I'm looking just fine...that number scares me. It scares me to think that even if I lose as much as 15 pounds by the time I'm home from the hospital, I'll still have at least 22 pounds to lose to get back to normal. It's daunting. And that's not even counting all the weight I'll probably gain in the next 7 weeks!!! To think that perhaps I'll have 30 pounds or more to lose AFTER the baby and fluids come out worries me. How will I ever do it? Will I ever be attractive again? Have I permanently ruined my body?<br><br>
None of this pressure is coming from anyone but myself. The midwives haven't really said anything about how much weight I've gained. My husband doesn't care about the number on the scale, only that I'm getting proper nutrition. Some people have even said that I looked good. So all this stuff is in my head, but that doesn't help. It's my own attitude that needs to change.
 

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I'm so glad for all these responses. I'm 32 wks and as of last friday was close to 50lb weight gain! If I look straight on in the mirror I still "look good", but I NEVER look at myself sideways anymore. I'm 'lucky' apparently, I'm carrying all in front. Sometimes I even feel like I've got a cute baby belly!<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ledzepplon</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15446343"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, because I know I ought to be thankful for healthy pregnancies and healthy babies. I ought to respect how amazing my body is for undergoing such dramatic changes to nurture new life. But it's seriously messing with my head to think about how big I'm going to get.<br><br>
Anybody have any tips or advice, or just commiseration?</div>
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This is the worst part though - I KNOW it's fine and good and I'm pregnant and etc. But I just can't FEEL fine and good about it. So, yeah, just some commiseration here <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I'm so glad there's a place we can discuss this without someone going 'oh pooh pooh, you'll be fine'. Knowing and feeling are so often in opposition.
 

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I'm at 30 weeks and I've already passed my total weight gain from my first pregnancy. With her I gained 27 lbs and I'm up to 28 right now. It is bothering me, though I also don't look at myself and see fat. I see a healthy pregnant woman, but I do worry about the post-partum period. I lost all but 5pounds in the first two weeks after DD1, and I felt so liberated. I doubt it will be that easy this time since I'm likely to see a total gain of 40 lbs. Like other posters have said, though, I eat well and I exercise, so I have to look at this gain as necessary. There's really nothing healthy I can do to gain less.<br><br>
My belly is the biggest part of me, and my shirts are already getting too short. My legs have seen the next biggest gain, so despite the extreme heat already here, I'm eschewing shorts and bathing suits.
 

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I am one of those that tends to gain lots of weight during pg (not always tho) and know EXACTLY how you feel. This time around gaining for twins I know I have license to gain 50-60 pounds, like I often do with a single baby. But I think I am going to end up weighing more. I didn't start out like you tho, I was about 30 # over my healthy weight when I got pg. It's really starting to effect my joints. The funny thing is, I am not eating a whole lot. There just isn't room for the food! So there must be more to it than just eating, cuz I am still gaining 2-3 # a wk.
 

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These are times I wish we could do away with mirrors and just live our lives, meet our responsibilities, love and laugh and accept ourselves the way we are.<br><br>
I found once I stopped looking so much at mass media and embracing where I'm at, I felt MUCH more peaceful.<br><br>
Still, I hear ya. It's hard to accept a new image of yourself with the extra weight, etc. But it really won't be forever. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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ugh, I belong here! With my first I gained 53 lbs after starting about 10 lbs overweight. I know that especially towards the end it was weight connected with swelling and the hint of going preclamptic, but it was still a lot of weight. (I gained about 20 lbs in the last month of my pregnancy)<br><br>
With this one, I had actually gotten down to my ideal weight (it seems like it must have been the very same day we conceived <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes"> ) but have been steadily gaining since then. I have already gained almost 50 lbs and I still have around six weeks to go. I don't mind most of the time what I look like at the moment, because there's a baby in there so it's not ME that's fat, but I can't help but think how blah I will feel every time I see myself in the mirror postpartum. My only consolation is that everyone will be looking at my beautiful daughter and I can use her to hide the spare tire I'll be carrying around behind her <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 
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