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My dd just started last week and has been having a rough time. She cries at drop off and then has a seemingly ok day, but with crying at recess (I think she's not feeling included) She had a great day yesterday, but today when I picked her up she was soooo grouchy. She wouldn't say bye to her teacher and handed me a self portrait that was really sad looking.


I guess I'm feeling kind of alone b/c it seems like everyone elses kids are "just loving it".
 

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My DD held it together the first week, but was extremely EXTREMELY grouchy and ornery from the time she got home, until she crashed at night.

She did not cry on drop off (but she is extremely naturally stoic by nature, at least with crying). But she told me that it was very hard having to follow all the new 'rules' (and she didn't tell me this, but her Kindergarten teacher was an old hand who she couldn't dance around or manipulate as easily as she did her preschool teachers, which was a total world-rocker for her).

My DD is a kiddo who likes to know her place, and how things are ordered. Until she figured out the new order and her new place, she was very out of sorts. We were so lucky that she only had 14 kids in her class (as opposed to the 22+ that is the norm here) so it was not quite as overwhelming as it could have been, sensory wise).

Depending on the school and what experience she had prior to this, it can be a LOT to adjust to. My daughter has told me that everything "felt different" at Kindy.

I wouldn't worry about what "Everyone else" is experiencing either. To be really honest with you, I know many many many people whose kids experienced "delayed out-of-sortsness" either a month in to Kindy or after the first real break. I've seen it while volunteering in the classroom too.
Some kids take longer to warm up but then steam ahead on an even keel, some jump right in and are abuzz with adrenaline/fun changes and then crash, most are inbetween.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thank you so much for your response
This evening she's feeling much better (as am I!) I guess I just never imagined how intense this first few weeks would/could be... I'm really trying to keep my perspective and have faith that things will even out emotion-wise.
 

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we are on week 3 here and my dd is just now having sadness, doesn't want to go etc. I have two older ones but this is the first kindie experience we have had, as former HS'ers.

I am hoping what people are saying is true. I thought she would LOVE it. She's really school-y, likes learning, and all that. And the teacher seems great, or at least pretty good. It's a charter Waldorf-inspired.

But I actually took her home today she was so hysterical. And not sure how we will pull off tomorrow. I plan to drop her off more quickly with her older sister rather than a long drawn out goodbye. Fingers crossed.

TBH, if it were not for the fact that I need her in school now as I'm returning to school, I'd probably consider pulling her. Or at least pikcing her up early (1 vs. 3 pm) She's just so sad....but I also feel like if she can get settled, she'll get a lot out of it....

I"d love to hear more success stories....I'm feeling very sad.
I hate to see my little girl so sad about this.

Hope your little girl acclimates soon!
 

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I was surprised last year at the difficulty of the transition for my son. He had been in full-time daycare before, but it was still a big transition for him. He'd say he had stomach aches in the am, etc. After several weeks of probing, it turned out there was one boy -- he wasn't bothering my son at all, but he was bullying some other kids and that was really bothering my son. I talked to the teacher (who was shocked -- he was putting up a great front at school, apparently) and the issue resolved itself almost immediately. My advice would just be to keep trying to get details about her day, what's going on, what the kids are like, how the teacher is, etc.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
No tears at drop off yesterday or today!! Clearly we're not out of the woods, but I'm hoping that this is at least the beginning of acclimation (sp?). The past two weeks have just been so emotionally draining.

kofduke- I think that I am really nervous about something happening akin to bullying that she won't tell me about. I'll keep asking her about her day and hope she'll fill me in if something is awry. I'm really trying to have a presence at the school so I can get to know her classmates.

indigo-
How was your lo today at drop-off? i hope it went better for you! Its sooooo hard to leave when they are crying for you. (We are in ABQ too, at a public school.)
 

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I cried off and on until third grade.

Being little can be hard...perhaps you can talk to the teacher?
 

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She's off to a good start! I am not!!
My dd is really liking kindergarten- no tears, comes home excited, and is finally making friends.
Here first day was not so great. She was really trying to get use to the new environment and ease into the class routine. Other children were approaching her to make friends. My dd told them, "I'm not capable of deciding if you are going to be my friend until I get to know you."

Couldn't help but laugh...of course we had a conversation about getting to know new children and enjoying and embracing this new "friend journey".
Since then, she has made some friends and is right into the groove.

On the other hand...I'm not too thrilled. I'm a teacher and have had almost no communication with the teacher via emails or notes. Maybe it's the norm not to communicate- but, I send personal notes to all my parents on a daily basis. Any conversations I have had, have been regarding the inconvenience of my husband and I opting out of things. Needless to say- I think this is going to be a hard transitional year for me.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by mother nurture View Post
On the other hand...I'm not too thrilled. I'm a teacher and have had almost no communication with the teacher via emails or notes. Maybe it's the norm not to communicate- but, I send personal notes to all my parents on a daily basis. Any conversations I have had, have been regarding the inconvenience of my husband and I opting out of things. Needless to say- I think this is going to be a hard transitional year for me.
Wow, I have 3 children, from 6th grade to kindergarten, and I've never had a teacher write a note to every parent each day! That is really great! The kids' first grade teacher did do a little "journal", I think it was once a week, maybe more often. She would write them a little note and they would write back.

To the OP, I'm glad your child is doing better. I think it's very common to have tears in kindergarten. One of my friend's daughters cried every day until Christmas break! And my DD is friends with some twins who cried off and on at least into 3rd grade. They would get upset and cry if there was a change in the routine, like an unplanned substitute teacher due to illness or whatever, even when they knew who the sub was.
 

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We are having a really slow transition here, too. My son seems to be doing okay while he is at school. The teacher says he is really quiet so far (sooo different than at home), and he has had a few moments where he has almost cried, but mostly he's doing okay.

The problem is at home. He is not sleeping well, he has started blinking constantly on and off throughout the day, he has started lying, and we've had tons of meltdowns. Although to be honest, he's always been prone to easy meltdowns.

Today (his off day -- we go every other day) he told me he is done school, that he has had enough and he doesn't want to go back anymore. He feels frustrated because there are so many new things to learn. I'm hoping he'll adapt to that soon. He loves learning things on his own, but I guess its just being told what he has to learn and how he has to learn it that are the problems for him.

Ah well. I knew it would be a hard transition.

Hugs to all the other moms struggling with their kids. It is just such a huge transition for them.
 

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Second day of preschool here. First day was cool, today there were tears and drama at the drop-off.

Thing is, he really wants to go, in fact he told me he loves his teacher and wants to go to school everyday, even on vacation, that he wants to stay there all day (he just goes twice/week, half days).

Transitions are hard. I felt awful prying him off my body, but so far he is showing me that preschool is an experience he is ready for and I'm sure things will get better once he gets to know the kids in his class and the environment seems more familiar to him. I know it took him a while to warm up to his music class and even participate in it, and now he loves it.

Hang in there (that's what I'm telling myself, too!)
 
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