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: Ok mamas out there, how do you respond when you're out in public with your kids and people comment (right in front of your children, of course) "Well, it sure looks like you've got your hands full!" I am getting SOOOOO sick of hearing this every stinking time I go somewhere. I have 3 boys (9, 5, & 2 yrs.) and I'm due with #4 any day. My boys - not to brag or anything
- behave very well. And usually the "hands full" comment is prefaced by saying how good they are. So why do people feel the need to look at me with sympathy just because I have children in tow?
What should I say back?

You'd think I'd have come up with a good response by now, since I've been hearing this on at least a weekly basis since my 3rd son was born. But I honestly can't think of a comeback that validates my children and shows them in front of the rude commenter (btw...I know they don't mean to be rude, they just don't realize how demeaning this comes off to my children, as if people need to feel bad for me because I'm their mom) that I DO NOT view them as a "hand full" but as the biggest blessings in my life. I usually say something along the line of how I enjoy spending time with my kids, but I'd like to have something to say that's a little more...I don't know...expressive or witty or something better than "I like my kids."


So what do you all do when this comes up?
 

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Just a little note...

I take care of my 4 month old nephew during the day, and the other day I was at Whole Foods trying to hold one, I had the other baby in the sling and I was trying to unload a ton of groceries... some wise-ass individual walked by (as I'm grunting and groaning and looking VERY un-ladylike) and said "Wow, you've got your hands full" not helping me hold up the trunk of my car, or offer to help in ANY WAY... just "Wow, you've got your hands full"

Snarky ass.
 

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I've been trying to think of a snappy comeback, too. I think I might start saying 'I have my hands full of children and my heart full of love. It's a nice trade-off'. Smile and walk away
 

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Whenever anyone sees me with my 3 boys or even hears that I have 3 boys they give me that comment. I am soooooooooo sick of it. Yes I do have my hands full some time but they are really good kids and I wish I could have more. Why do other people feel they have to comment about it. Same thing goes with "where you trying for a girl". I wish I had a better comment but I just usually nod a little. If anyone has good comebacks I would love to hear them. Actually I do have a comment I always use for the girl comment. I say "No I was trying for a baby and I was lucky."
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by deleria
I've been trying to think of a snappy comeback, too. I think I might start saying 'I have my hands full of children and my heart full of love. It's a nice trade-off'. Smile and walk away

I love that line.... thats awesome.
 

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I've started yelling, "Well, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HELPING ME OUT!!!"
9 out of 10 times, it stops them and they come over and offer a hand, which I gladly accept.


I really dislike, almost hate, when people belittle parents.
:
 

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I get that comment all the time. I usually just say "Yeap, and I love it" or "I wouldn't trade them for the world" But I like the other comment from the pp better. I have been trying to think of something better.

I also hate the comment "Don't you know what causes that" I always tell them "I sure do, we don't have cable TV."
 

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I was irritated by this comment at first (my children are close together and I was feeling sensitive to people's assumptions about our choice), but I started looking at their faces when they say this, and most often they're trying for empathy, some kind of connection. And I DO have my hands full. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy, so I just say in return, "Yup, and I love every minute of it." We exchange smiles and go our separate ways, no harm, no foul.
 

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Everytime I say "I know, isn't it wonderful!!!!!!". I swear it's become as automatic as 'thank you' when someone holds a door for us.
:
 

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I get that a lot. "You sure do have your hands full!" Of course I do, I have seven children, one that is currently disabled. So life is always full.

I have three comments that I respond with, depending on the situation.

1) I say, "Yea, but after having each kid, they were just so cute I decided to keep them".

2) I say, "Sure, I am always busy!"

3) I say, "Yea, but I just can't figure out where babies come from."
 

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I usually say and a full heart too.....but lately they HAVE been a handful and I must look like the harassed mama.
And to make it worse, I agree with them, but quickly add "it IS fun though! keeps me on my toes"

Actually another mama told me this today. We were at Church and in line to get pizza (end of vacation Church school) She was behind me, my 4yo and 6yo were acting like baby tigers...and bouncing everywhere and my 2.5 yo was running and crashing into my legs.
: I just agreed with her...without adding anything on because my hands WERE full...I had 3 plates of pizza.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by earthmama369
I was irritated by this comment at first (my children are close together and I was feeling sensitive to people's assumptions about our choice), but I started looking at their faces when they say this, and most often they're trying for empathy, some kind of connection. And I DO have my hands full. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy, so I just say in return, "Yup, and I love every minute of it." We exchange smiles and go our separate ways, no harm, no foul.
I've never had anyone say this to me in a negative way. Doesn't bother me.
 

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I always just smile and say "Yeah I guess I do." Although I know I haven't even begun to experience the full force because so far the comments have come just for slinging my 11 month old through Wal Mart while 9 months pregnant with his brother. I can't imagine the comments and looks that are waiting ahead....
 

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I'm especially sick of it because it mostly comes at moments I have my hands EMPTY......baby in sling, dd in cart.......
 

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I hear this all the time (19 months, 4, and 6 yo twins) and it doesn't really bother me. I think it is usually said in empathy because I am simultaneously trying to shop, answer 80 questions, keep the baby from climbing out of the cart, write a check, keep baby distracted with snacks, wipe up the paint the twins just knocked over, run everyone to the poddy, answer the cell phone, etc. I actually stopped myself from saying it to a busy mom once, cause I thought it might bother her. I ended up not saying anything because I couldn't think of anything else to say to her that would show her that I understood her position. Maybe, "ROCK ON, AWESOME MOM!!!" with some fist pumping would have done it.

7kiddosmom-My husband tells people all the time that we don't have cable, when they start harrassing him about having so many kids.
 

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I get this comment too and I have only 2 little ones. I just give them a weird look like "what do you mean?" and then they move on. At first it was my actual reaction...now I just kind of say "not so much" along with the weird look.

Along the same lines I actually had a waitress recently mumble something about daycare and asked if I was "stuck with the kids all day" I honestly didn't hear the first part of what she said so I am sure the look on my face was a "what the ____ are you talking about". I just looked at her and said "they're my children". Of course she got all apologetic and tried to explain herself like thats not what she meant etc...I guess she just couldn't grasp the concept that someone would have children and not put them in daycare....
 

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yeah, i haaaaaate it when people say that to me, which is about three times a day. I want to say something snappy and clever but I haven't thought of anything yet. So far I've tried deadpanning, "Yeah, everybody says that to me" or laughing and saying, "That's not even the half of it!" but it's not quite satsifying. I am thinking of trying out, "and your hands are empty"... but I'd rather say something funny and snippy
will keep thinking.
 

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I liked that baby tigers LOL. I usually say something like "Yep, they are going to be something special when they grow up and use all that energy towards doing something great in life" Not to say they aren't special now just that they have all this creative, always curious how things work, high energy for something other then keeping me on my toes.

I am not sure sometimes people are being rude but I agree sometimes they are just trying to give encouragement.

Maybe they are thinking WOW what a super MOM!!!! LOL That's it we are all Super Moms LOL With Super Great Kids..

I think it depends on where we are also. Like I can go to the mainstream grocery store and it is almost inevitable that someone makes a smart comment or yucky look or tells my DS to don't touch/back up.

But there is this other store in town like a little hippie/natural foods store and everyone is so cool and they even let my DS scan items. I drive over 40 miles round trip to do my grocery shopping there just because even on a crazy day I leave there feeling better. For instance if the 2 y/o is getting ants in his pants as we are checking out there is almost always someone behind us that starts talking or making funny faces with him just so I can finish checking out. It would be nice if there were more places like that that just enjoyed the energy of children.
 

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What's funny is that I get this comment, as well as "you must be busy," and I have an almost 5 yr old and a very placid and easy 6 month old. Maybe I look stressed even though I'm not? Who knows. How (or if) I respond depends on how they're saying it.
 

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With 2 toddlers only 10 months apart, I think I here this comment more than any other. I usually reply, "yeah, it's awesome. I'm really lucky!" Then I usually think "So hold the door for me a**hole!" Or something like that.

Yup, getting pretty tired of that comment. Also getting tired of the look of shock, horror and often disgust when I tell people we want at least 2 more. People usually say rude things about it, and right in front of my babies.
Drives me crazy!
 
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