[Steve's Wife]

I have always had a hard time with schedules, although I recently instituted a chore schedule that's been semi-effective (chores for certain days, not time of day). But my daughter is totally unpredictable. Nap length and number are all over the place. She goes to bed at roughly the same time, but wakes anywhere between 7:30 and 10:00. She tends to snack at the breast all day. Should I try to steer us into a schedule and routine? (I'll still feed on demand, of course) I don't know if this is a bad thing. I would be kind of nice to have an actual "nap time" to plan around. I just don't know if it's something to even be concerned about. I wonder if she would do better if she new what to expect throughout the day. We just started a bit of a bedtime routine, but it's just a few books and nursing to sleep in my bed...thoughts??

 

[ndunn]

I think bedtime routines are great..But I don't like to call it "routine" because that word gives me the creeps

I prefer to just say we have our habits that we go about doing before bed (a walk, then a bath, then a book, then nurse). That being said, DH usually walks DD in the evening or I go too, and then later is the bath and the rest, but we have no "set times". If its clear that DD doesn't want to do some of those things, then I don't force. Some nights she seems like she'd rather stay inside than walk.
Trust your instincts, every child is different. Does it seem like your babe might benefit from more structure? I would definately stay WAY away from structuring feedings though, IMO.

 

[maryeb]

We have always used a bedtime routine of washcloth or bath, new dipe and jammies, and nurse to sleep, since ds was about 3 months. Up until he was about 9 months, naps were unpredictable too...seemed like every couple of hours he need to catnap. He never took those long naps I kept hearing about from others IRL. Now he naps twice a day, about 3 hours after he wakes up. That is our routine. We usually take a walk in the morning before his first nap and run errands/go to park before his second nap...but it's only come about because his naps became this way...does this make sense? I just follow his lead. HTH.

Mary

 

[`guest`]

I have tried routine, but it doesnt work (i am the same in life) even bedtime; the only routine is my daughter wiggles around for a bit while I tell her, please be still, then she falls asleep. SOmetimes we read, bathe, sometimes not. I feel that every time I try routine, it just goes to pot. I let them guide me.

 

[josybear]

i figure, if we're all happy and thriving without a schedule or routine, why fix what aint broke? our house is a cheerful chaos and most of the time we all love it.

 

[hottmama]

We have no daily routine AT ALL. Some days Luka (3 days older than your babe!) takes 2 naps, sometime 5 or 6 short naps. Some days he eats 3 "meals" of solids + snacks, some days no solids at all. Some days he has a bath, some days not. Bedtime can be anywhere from 9pm-1am for my oldest- the little guy just sleeps when he's tired. The only predictable things in our week are Tuesday nights I go out while the babe stays home with dada, Tuesday morning is playgroup, and my 3.5 yr. old spends Saturday and Sunday nights at his father's house. Soon school will start and that'll be predictable 2x a week I will have classes.
I've never had routines for either boy and we're all happy and healthy!

 

[grumpyshoegirl]

The only routine we have is that generally dd wakes around 6 when we all do, naps for about an hour and a half in the mornings (though the start time varies anywhere from 8am to 11am), and goes to bed for the night around 9 (though she's NAK right now to get back to sleep). Oh, and since she's only doing solids about once a day she gets those sometime in the afternoon if she's interested.

The only one I'm really keen on keeping is that we have the same ritual every night for bed, diaper change, put on pjs or nighttime onesie, wipe face and body with lavender water, cuddle and nurse to sleep. I think that'll be especially important as she develops more independence.

The rest of the time is free and loose and we like it that way! If it ain't broke...

 

[royaloakmi]

I think I'm in the minority here

. . . and maybe it's b/c I had twins and really had to have a loose routine to save my sanity, but I am a big fan of routine.

By that, I mean regular times and rituals for eating and sleeping mostly. (Still nursing on demand in between.) I didn't even begin to think about it till mine were 6 months old (they didn't sleep at even close to the same times till then), but over time (they are now almost 3 years old) I have seen a great payoff in the sense that they have developed a bit of an internal rhythm that helps them feel more secure and has built in times to rest and recharge (which becomes essential for really active toddlers.)

I also think it has to do with the temperment of your child. My ds literally thrives on routine, while dd can get along fine with things more loosy goosy.

On the other hand, as pp's have said, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."

 

[kalirush]

*I'm* a big fan of routine. I've always been the kind of person who does the exact same thing every morning and every night, at the exact same time, without fail.

My *daughter* now...

Since she was born, we have NO routine. We've tried establishing one, but she's having none of it. At nearly a year, she wakes when she feels like it and sleeps when she feels like it ("bedtime" is anywhere between 8:30 and 1 AM) and naps when she feels like it.

Her papa thrives on a lack of routine; I think she's HIS daughter.

Julia

 

[Steve's Wife]

Quote:

Originally Posted by hottmama We have no daily routine AT ALL. Some days Luka (3 days older than your babe!) takes 2 naps, sometime 5 or 6 short naps. Some days he eats 3 "meals" of solids + snacks, some days no solids at all. Some days he has a bath, some days not. Bedtime can be anywhere from 9pm-1am for my oldest- the little guy just sleeps when he's tired.

That pretty much sounds like my house, except she usually goes to bed about 10:00. That's the only predictibility in our day. I feel like I should maybe give a routine a try to see how she does, but I don't know. Like you all said, if it ain't broke...she's seems happy and is thriving. But sleeping at night is a little crazy lately, and I noticed the nights lately where sleeping was weird (waking 8 or more times) were nights where we didn't follow the routine. One night she nursed to sleep on the couch while we watched a movie, another we were all out late. Not sure if it's a coincidence.

Thanks for all the replies. I feel better about not having a schedule throughout the day. I knew I wasn't alone

 

[runes]

no routines or schedules here, either. anything goes. we just go by dd's cues.

 

[wonderwahine]

we have no schedule, ds goes to bed and wakes up on his own schedule....soemtimes its 10pm, sometimes its 1am.......some days we wake up at 9am, sometimes at noon!

he has a usual 2 naps a day, but you can never predicit the exact times.

 

[AlbertaJes]

The only schedule we have is the one set by DD.
Settles for her long nighttime sleep at 2am, wakes only to eat until about 10:30 or 11. Then has a nap in the afternoon, usually around 2. Then has a short sleep starting around 11:30pm. Generally awake & active the rest of the day.

 

[millionmom]

my ds is 11 months, and we still don't have a set routine. I doubt we ever will. In daycare settings, they do not impose a routine or schedule on the children until 1 year of age. I think that definetly says something...not that you even have to at that age, but that it may be more developmentally appropriate at that time,.

I don't think it would hurt to start with a predictable bedtime routine though. Maybe start with that and then add more later on as you see fit.

 

[alicia622]

I think predictibility is good for babies and children. I can see how hard it is for G when his regular life gets swapped for another life during overnight visits with his parents. I don't know so much if it's the change in routine (we have a general routine, his parents don't) or if it's the change in caregivers (different expectations, behaviors...) Regardless, something throws him for a loop when his routine is messed with.

 

[aweynsayl]

replying without reading other replies...

i love it!

i am not a schedule junkie-- we eat when we are hungry, sleep when we're tired, play when we're frisky, schunggle when we're lovey. we didnt change that when ds was born... and it works for us so far. i guess i figure if ds doesnt like it at some point, by golly, we'll know it!

carry on, i say!

 

[sheandaru]

No schedule here, either. I have to ask dh how long it's been since I fed ds!!

 

[Blue Lotus]

Schedule? Routine? What is that??

 

[mkat]

Can I add that I TRY every day to get DS on a schedule (I mean, MY schedule)... he's not going for it... so we basically go with the flow. I do try to keep him pretty tanked up in hopes he will sleep more at night not really sure that is working, actually)... so he eats approximately every 3 hours, but if he's hungry before then of course he eats... I just make sure I am offering the breast about every 3 hours if he hasn't requested it before then. I also try to get him down for a nap after 90 mins. to 1 hour of wake time. He also has a set bedtime and wakes up between 6-7 AM. Hmmmm... looks like we have a routine after all... not bad... wanting a "schedule" is totally my stuff... doesn't work that way w/ a babe!

 

[KnittingKara]

schedule?

routine?

laughup

:

(um, yeah, that's a big no)