[mama to 2 girls]

<p>DD1 is 6 and lately she is driving me insane..... Let me try to explain... For instance this morning we were outside and right away she says "mommy play tag with me". I say "right now mommy is tired and hungry (they ended up running out the door before I had a chance to eat anything) and I don't feel like running all around the yard right now, maybe you can go find something else to do". Meanwhile dd2 asked me to swing her, so I went over and started to swing and dd1 comes up and sits in a swing and starts trying to spin herself but isn't having much success at it, so I asked her if she would like me to spin her and she says "I thought you said you didn't want to play with me and you said you were tired" in a "bratty" voice. So I repeated the same thing to her that I had said a few minutes before. She said yes I'd like you to spin me, so I did. Then after that ds needed me for something so I was playing with him and then dd1 comes up to me and said I want to play outside but there is nothing to do...I rattled off the usual list of things she could do by herself....color, swing, slide, sandbox, hula hoop etc.... to which all of those she shrugged her shoulders, so then I offered to play "soccer" with her (which just consists of me trying to kick the ball into the goal net while she tries to block it) to which again she says, "I thought you said you didn't want to run, when we play soccer you have to be up and run to the goal" ugh, To which I replied, "I said I didn't want to run all around the yard, when we play soccer I don't have to run, I am just kicking the ball into the goal". </p>
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<p>This kind of stuff goes on ALL THE TIME. It is really starting to get at me, I just don't know what to do. Am I doing something horribly wrong?! I try to be patient with her but sometimes it just gets me angry. She is very much my "drama queen". For instance today, I was joking with them and said "locking you guys in your room is sounding pretty good right now". I was very clearly kidding and in no way used a stern voice, nor have I EVER done anything of that sort and the most I have ever layed a hand on them is the extremely rare, almost non-existent smack on the butt. So she goes off and hides and tells my mother that she is hiding from me because she is afraid of me. oy. My mom even knows that I never lay a hand on them ever and she even tells me that I need to "discipline" them more. Also, when she gets scared while watching something, she acts it out so dramatically! She has been doing that a lot lately and I am trying to figure out where this is all coming from! </p>

 

[PlayaMama]

<p>i've got one of those too.</p>
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<p>my ds has been driving me NUTS lately with all the drama and arguing. sometimes i'm like, "i totally understand why someone would just want their kid to do what they said, when they said it rather than try to compromise or discuss it." i am sick of discussing, offering options, etc.</p>
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<p>in our case, i really think i need to reevaluate how i'm talking to him sometimes _and_ how well i stick to my boundaries. i find i'm tending to let things slide because i'm so stressed that i'm making decisions about things without thinking about it. so he'll argue, i'll realize he has a point, and then he gets to do what he wants. which just encourages him to argue.</p>
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<p>i think that sometimes, i just need to stick to what i say. it's not always up for discussion, and i need to stand by that because the fluctuating boundaries confuse him.</p>
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<p>i'll be reading to see what everyone else has to say!</p>

 

[mama to 2 girls]

<p>I hear ya! I do this sometimes too, but sometimes I wonder if this just causes more damage. Idk. I don't know if it would be better on those couple times when she does have a point, to just "stick to my guns" or I am thinking it *might* be better to stop and re-evaluate what I have said and talk to her about it and if I do let it slide (what ever the situation might be), tell her why? I really am just tired of the arguing as well, and you right, if I keep giving into her she will just keep doing it. </p>
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<p>A perfect example..... ds was playing with his Leapster while I flossed and brushed his teeth, it kept him occupied. Well, when he is done and it's time to go to bed, SHE wants to play with the Leapster but I said no it's bedtime and we need to just go to her room so we can have story time if they want it, so she says "Well, how come ds got to play with it before bedtime? That's not fair!" So while she had a good point (it wasn't really fair) I explained to her that it makes it easier on mommy and daddy (one of usually has to practically sit on him) while we are brushing his teeth and he only plays with it a few minutes, if she started on it she wouldn't want to get off. So, she kept arguing and of course my dh says "we didn't really want him to play with, he just did!" grrr So what do you think she does.....I come back into her room and she got the Leapster and says what dh had said..... I just can't win. </p>

 

[PlayaMama]

<p>i know!</p>
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<p>i've started telling my ds that "fair doesn't mean everyone gets the same thing, fair means we each get what we need". it's a line from my education courses, because in a public school accommodations and modifications are provided to students based on what they _need_. some students need someone to read them the questions out loud because they have visual difficulties. it doesn't mean that everyone in the classroom has teh test read out loud to them ,they don't need it! it's fair to provide and equal opportunity for things that you need.</p>
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<p>my ds says that about his little sister a lot. and i'm hoping this idea works. i also try to point out the things he gets to do because he's older that she can't do. it wouldn't be fair to let her roller skate because she can't! so he gets to do that and she doesn't.</p>
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<p>i often reconsider, and change my mind when discussing things with him, but sometimes? i'd love it if i said, "honey it's almost bed time, please come brush teeth with me." and not have him spend 15 minutes trying to convince me that it's alright if he brushes teeth in the morning, and just tonight he's too tired to brush teeth, and sometimes i don't brush his sister's teeth every night and, and, and.....</p>
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<p>it's exhausting.</p>