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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We were around a fairly new family we have met eating lunch with them recently and they home school their children but are about to put them in high school next year because it's too hard to teach them now. I was making convo and asked the mother if she was a member of a home school group and she was very adamant and said she never liked groups. She said she didn't click with any of the people and they were all very weird to her over the years. She said she would keep her distance at classes her kids wanted to attend and what not.<br><br>
I didn't know what to say really after that comment. I feel like I might be kind of weird at times. I know that home schoolers are set in their ways sometimes but I can chit chat with them if I am at a function, although I never have made any friends with fellow home school moms, too hard for some reason, so I agree with her on that. She is about to stop H/S her own kids so I think it's just easier for her to say this now since she knows she will no longer be doing it soon. However, I intend on doing it all the way through (hopefully) and I don't want to seem weird to anyone. I'll likely watch everything I say and do around her from now on. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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NO.. don't watch yourself one bit! who cares how she rates you on the "weirdometer". i mean really, why care what she thinks? she sounds weird to me anyway to be honest.<br><br>
plus, i feel weird a lot ...like a fish out of water in many circumstances. especially when i'm meeting new people or in new situations. but that's my problem - not someone else's.... ykwim?
 

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define weird. i never felt weird (i'm a homeschool grad and now homeschooling my own) until dh told me we weren't mainstream anymore....this was news to me 'cause i considered us mainstream. i guess the homeschooling, attachment parenting, beastfeeding,non circing, baby wearing and on and on make us non-mainstream...who would have quessed? and for the record highschool is the EASIEST time to homeschool. it's a copout. teaching your kids to read....now that's the tough one. i thoroughly enjoyed being a highschool homeschooler and choosing what i learned and when...it prepared me better for college as well. maybe i am weird after all! lol maybe everyone is weird.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lakesuperiormom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10735993"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">this was news to me 'cause i considered us mainstream. i guess the homeschooling, attachment parenting, beastfeeding,non circing, baby wearing and on and on make us non-mainstream...who would have quessed?.</div>
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I consider that mainstream as well. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I guess the way this other lady defined weird was that she felt like she didn't fit in. She is very outgoing so she has no problem approaching people and making conversation, but she said it was still hard for her. I'm not sure why, she didn't really delve in to it further nor did I encourage her to do so. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> I figure if I gave too much info on how 'we' do things in our family then we might be put on her weird list. But actually I think she's a really nice person although I don't know her well enough yet. But she never really elaborated on why she felt they were weird just that she could never find anyone to really click with over the years. I've felt this way in the past but that was mostly due to my own insecurities and shyness. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
I personally have a hard time meeting people because I'm quiet and because my child is just now returning to homeschooling in the last few months, whereas most people do it all along and so they've been able to form friendships. Not to mention the fact that I have to work so I rarely have time to take the kids to functions so when we do go to functions it's not like I can go up to a group of established moms and chime in. I would feel awkward doing that as I'm sure most people would. But do I feel they are weird? Nah. I think home schoolers are neat for the most part, with the exception of maybe a couple that I've encountered over the years.
 

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Don't take her word for it that the other parents in the HS group are "weird" just because she didn't click with any of them. You might click with them just fine.
 

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People have been telling me for years that I'm weird. But they like me anyway, so I don't worry about it. And I can understand about her not clicking with someone. When we lived in Virginia, I had a friend who I had clicked with right away. We've been here in Alaska for 2 years and I don't have the same kind of friend of here. But even if she doesn't have a best bud, someone she clicked with, I don't see why she wouldn't make friends anyway. Well, aside from she thinks they are weird. Not really understanding that one, unless she is rather secular and they were rather religious or the other way around. I mean, I could see meeting one or two who were kind of way out there, but not a whole group of them.
 

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Big proud weirdo here <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wave.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wave"><br><br>
I love weird people. They're the most interesting, intelligent, nonconforming people I've ever met. Mainstream people, especially those who work extra hard to be mainstream and "cool", are boring and uninteresting and totally predictable.<br><br>
I pick weird over mainstream normal anyday.
 

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I'm the weird one in our neighborhood. It seems to help people be open around me, because I'm non-judgemental and make no effort to "fit". So that is my niche and I'm really g etting comfortable with it. Only took 15yrs or so. But atleast my kids will have the example I set. You don't have to be like other to be happy and get along.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>momtokea</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10744137"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I pick weird over mainstream normal anyday.</div>
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But that's the thing. How do you know who is weird and who is normal? and what if what 'you' think about that person is really the opposite in another person's eyes? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Seroiusly, who gets to decide who is worth talking to and getting to know and who isn't? I don't see why it matters.<br><br>
I've felt left out in the past when home schooling but I look back now and see that a lot of it was myself and the fact that I was shy and inexperienced back when my older two were young. I didn't have a whole lot of time to devote to things outside the home. I still don't and that makes it tough.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Don't take her word for it that the other parents in the HS group are "weird" just because she didn't click with any of them. You might click with them just fine.</td>
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I agree with you on that. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> This lady is a very outgoing person though. Her children are very outgoing and great kids as well. She isn't lacking in the social department so I don't think it's just all in her mind either. Perhaps she has just met the wrong people.<br><br>
I've only been to one function so far since we began home schooling again. The parent I met while there who talked to me and has since said hello to me every time I go each week? A father! The mothers don't even smile at me. I go to great lengths to make eye contact and they will start talking to their children or walk by in such a rush. All home school parents seem to be in such a rush all the time, lol. I wonder why? We have all day to get things done but yet we are so rushed. I admit I'm the same way at times.
 

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I'm the weird one in our co-op but still have a great time and get along well with everyone. I think my different choices and outlook is a nice change for everyone there <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I've always been the weird one. I usually define weird or "not normal" as different from the people around you. I've always been different, not necessarily a bad thing, but I've always been liked even if I never felt I fit in or clicked with anyone else. For example, I've always been very involved in our local Moms Club. I am the only one who homeschools, wears my babies everywhere, doesn't hire a sitter, doesn't use bottles, extended and tandem nurses, etc. But I still enjoy being around all the other moms and kids and I always got the feeling they like me. I have been kind of afraid to try joining any homeschool groups, though, but that's mostly because I'm very shy. It has less to do with being weird. I embrace my weirdness! LOL! I do, however, feel very uncomfortable around super religous people. I know it's my own hang-up that has to do with being judged and preached at a few too many times in the past.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>pamama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10748289"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I've always been the weird one. I usually define weird or "not normal" as different from the people around you. I've always been different, not necessarily a bad thing, but I've always been liked even if I never felt I fit in or clicked with anyone else. For example, I've always been very involved in our local Moms Club. I am the only one who homeschools, wears my babies everywhere, doesn't hire a sitter, doesn't use bottles, extended and tandem nurses, etc. But I still enjoy being around all the other moms and kids and I always got the feeling they like me. I have been kind of afraid to try joining any homeschool groups, though, but that's mostly because I'm very shy. It has less to do with being weird. I embrace my weirdness! LOL! I do, however, feel very uncomfortable around super religous people. I know it's my own hang-up that has to do with being judged and preached at a few too many times in the past.</div>
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Um, wow, are you me? You described me exactly, I am on the board of my mom's club, the only one who is remotely AP/crunchy, only HSer. I've always been weird, struggled with it, but have finally come to terms with it and decided that it's not that bad to be weird. I'd rather be weird than be so generic that I don't stand out at all from the crowd. Ppl seem to find me interesting, b/c I am not like anyone else in the group, yet I am approachable and friendly, so they can't hold anything against me. I got a few looks and silence when ppl found out that we are HSer, but I think that as they have gotten to know me that they realize we aren't whatever weird HS stereotype they had envisioned.
 

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As (homeschooled) kids, we often didn't like attending the homeschool groups because the kids were 'weird'. Sorry. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> A few of said 'weird' kids are now my friends, having become less weird as they grew up (or maybe I became weirder?); some of the others, well, I've seen them about from time to time and they're still weird. I don't blame it on homeschooling; I think many of them would have been just as 'weird' at school, and I knew my fair share of weird kids at school anyway. But yeah; I can see how she might feel that way!<br><br>
For the record, DH and I are definitely weird; but there's weird and weird, you know? Clicking with your own brand of weird is a wonderful thing; finding a different brand of weird can be, well, weird...
 

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I like weird.<br><br>
It sounds like she probably has a hard time connecting w/people anyway. No one wants to open up and and be friends with someone who is judging whether you're weird or not.<br><br>
I think its more about her than anyone else and their weirdness.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Smokering</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10753595"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">As (homeschooled) kids, we often didn't like attending the homeschool groups because the kids were 'weird'. Sorry. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"> A few of said 'weird' kids are now my friends, having become less weird as they grew up (or maybe I became weirder?); some of the others, well, I've seen them about from time to time and they're still weird. I don't blame it on homeschooling; I think many of them would have been just as 'weird' at school, and I knew my fair share of weird kids at school anyway. But yeah; I can see how she might feel that way!<br><br>
For the record, DH and I are definitely weird; but there's weird and weird, you know? Clicking with your own brand of weird is a wonderful thing; finding a different brand of weird can be, well, weird...</div>
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I love your explanation! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> You described it perfectly. And I agree, there were weird in school when I was in school and there might be weird in a school and outside a school in this day and time as well.<br><br>
I'm thinking weird isn't even the word, maybe the word "different" fits better. We are all just different. Sometimes it takes a bigger person to be able to handle making new friendships with different people instead of always looking for someone that is "just" like they are. Maybe more people should try to get out of their comfort zone. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Smokering</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10753595"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
For the record, DH and I are definitely weird; but there's weird and weird, you know? Clicking with your own brand of weird is a wonderful thing; finding a different brand of weird can be, well, weird...</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/twins.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="twins">: That was just.......... weird!
 

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Okay, is might be just me, but the word weird is starting to sound really...weird....to me! I've read it so many times in this thread that it sounds strange.<br><br>
Oh, and I was a weird ps kid!! I was the kid in junior high with glasses who sat on the bleachers in the gym reading Shakespeare during free play! LOL! I would think it would be harder to be weird in school than being homeschooled, but we don't know any other homeschoolers right now. Or maybe I just would have fit in better with homeschoolers when I was a kid.
 
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