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Hey there! I'm interested in starting/joining a play group in or around Cedar. I've looked in the "Finding Your Tribe" and didn't see any in so. Utah. I'm pretty radical and a hard cord AP parent, among other unorthodox things. (Just read my bio. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/FIREdevil.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="devil"> ) So, if you'd like to hook up and play--kids and adults--let me know!
 

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Gr8dreamer~<br>
Hi! I'm not in Cedar City... nor even Utah. But I wanted to say hey.<br><br>
Sorry you don't like living there. I think it's one of the few places I could live in Utah. I love, love Utah, but I lived there for about a year and almost lost my mind. It really is difficult to live there if you're not part of the dominant culture. I personally like the Mormons a lot. Most all that I knew when I lived there, and all the friends and family who are still a part of my life, are wonderful, gracious, caring people who have never made me feel uncomfortable with their faith. However, it's a whole other ball game trying to be "different" in the land of sameness. So, I can really relate to how isolated you must feel.<br><br>
My husband was raised Mormon in Utah, so, while he's gone in a way, way different direction, he can still blend and not feel uncomfortable there. He's also much more easy going than me! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> He'd really like to live in So. Utah one day... like Zion area. Ah, to dream!<br><br>
I'm curious too, what took you to Cedar City from California?<br><br>
Well, best of luck finding a tribe in Cedar. It's too bad that such a beautiful place can be so unwelcoming to people who are "different."<br><br>
hugs,<br>
nonalee
 

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Hi nonalee, great to hear from you! ((nonalee))<br><br>
Here's my story in a nutshell: Born and raised in California; grew up Mormom, though not strict; went to BYU (which is where I became an atheist); went back to California to teach (there was a gang shooting on the playground <i>during</i> school) <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/jaw2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="jaw2"> ; came back to Utah because that's where I'm certified, met my husband, who's a born-and-bred Cedar boy whom I can't yank out of Utah no matter what; quit teaching after ten years because I couldn't stand it anymore <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nut.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nut"> (I could write a book on what's wrong with public education, but so many have already more eloquently done it for me); marriage and dd and a house . . . So here I am.<br><br>
I've tried to talk dh husband into moving, anywhere but here really, but it seems I'm stuck here for a while. He just started his own business. There are so many things I would change about this place, and, although I feel safe walking around at night in town with dd and the numerous other cool things about living in a small town, I feel that she's not safe emotionally and spiritually.<br><br>
I'd love more diversity, and there's a strong counter-culture that's asserting itself more and more. I'm part of that. I have a few close friends, and they're dd's friends, too, but they're adults. I'd love to have dd play with other AP kids. She's not very comfortable in social situations anyway, so I don't feel totally guilty about her not having many friends. We've got a ton of animals (horses, a goat, chickens, fish, and a one-in-a-million dog), and, while they're no substitute for human friends, at least they don't shove and call dd ugly names. As I'm sure you know, kids can be brutal. I'm the ultimate mama bear, and won't even tolerate well meaning "innocent" remarks from relatives.<br><br>
I'm also part of a terrific homeschool group, but we meet only 4 times a year. It would be ideal to have a playgroup full of people who share my values. When I originally made this post, I thought, <i>Well, I'll throw it out there and see what kind of response I get.</i><br><br>
I have been doing a lot of personal work lately (recovering from my childhood, etc.), and I've come to realize--and this has been a long, hard lesson for me to learn--that I am responsible for my own happiness, no matter where I am or what I have or don't have. Duh. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/duh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="duh"><br><br>
So, now when I strut around town with my short shorts and tank top, hairy legs and armpits sticking out, and an almost-four-year-old still popping under my shirt to catch a nursie, I'm not doing it to freak people out anymore or to shake them up. It's just who I am. I'm learning to really love myself (recovering from an ED, too), and by doing that, I've freed myself up to love others for who they are, even if they choose a different lifestyle.<br><br>
Now that I've gotten a handle on my happiness situation, there is one thing that still irks me about this place: the weather! I grew up in so. Cal, lived at the beach during the summer, and enjoyed very mild winters. I may be a sissy when it comes to cold, but I'm a lizard when it comes to heat. If it's 80 degrees or above, I feel good. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/kewl.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="kewl"><br><br>
I miss the California of my childhood, and I'm sure I've idealized it and forgotten all the rotten stuff, but I can never go back to it. <i>There are places I remember/All my life, though some have changed/Some forever not for better/Some have gone and some remain/All these places have their moments/With lovers and friends I still can recall/Some are dead, and some are living/In my life, I've loved them all . . . Though I know I'll never lose affection/For people and things that went before/l know I'll often stop and think about them . . .</i>.<br><br>
I have to make my peace with the choices I've made and where I am and be determined to not let my own issues cloud dd's life. And, hey, you're right, it is gorgeous here. I've come to realize that no matter where I'd go, there would always be something/someone to bitch about. This place is blessed with beautiful smog-free country, and I can just hop on my horse and go riding around. This place has a lot going for it. I've just got to fine-tune my perceptions and make the best of my life. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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Gr8Dreamer,<br><br>
I'm from Utah, Salt Lake City, too bad you don't live up here, although I would actually rather live in a smaller town sometimes. Anyway, I am part of an online natural mothering group from Utah, and a girl joined recently from Cedar City, she hasn't posted anything yet, too bad, but I had to go back and check her name to be sure it wasn't you, sounds like you guys would get along great, if you can email me I will send you a link to her homepage (don't know if she wants it given out to everybody) and maybe you can contact her through it.<br><br>
I know how it is to be alone in your parenting styles, joining this group has helped alot even though the majority are of the dominant religion, but they are all into homebirth, extended bf'ing, cloth diapering or EC, AP, which sometimes makes them outcasts in their own religion. It is nice to actually talk to someone in person about parenting that has the same philosophies as you do though.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Attached Mamma</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Gr8Dreamer,<br><br>
It is nice to actually talk to someone in person about parenting that has the same philosophies as you do though.</div>
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This is so true! I am such a talker, and, while I have found great satisfaction/vindication/validation on these discussion boards, I literally think while talking. I love hanging out and chit chatting with people who at least don't think I'm crazy because of how I parent.<br><br>
I do have a good friend who is LDS, but that's really a non-issue. She's very intellectual and politically active, and our conversations are never dull. Her kids get along with my dd, and she's an ardent unschooler like I am. She's one of those cool people who doesn't judge, ignore, or speak condescendingly to someone whose beliefs don't jibe with hers. And, she doesn't wear make-up or shave either! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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Hi milk4two! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Where are you in Utah county?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Gr8Dreamer</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Here's my story in a nutshell: Born and raised in California; grew up Mormom, though not strict; went to BYU (which is where I became an atheist);</div>
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Hey--ME TOO! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
I'm living in American Fork, so not very close to you. My parents live in Cedar City, though--for another month anyway. They just sold their house and are high-tailing it back to California. Where in California did you grow up? I lived in Orange County. I was just there last week. Part of me really misses it, but somehow I don't think I could ever go back.<br><br>
I very much hear you on your concerns. I worry about my children's spiritual development here in Utah too. I have reached the point where I have nothing against Mormons (most of my friends and family are Mormon), but I still feel emotionally isolated sometimes. I know it's hard on my oldest DD--she has had to defend herself rather strenuously at times. We always talk about leaving Utah, but it never happens. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
That's cool that you have farm animals. We just bought a house on 3 acres and got our first chicks yesterday. This land wasn't farmed and has just sat how it is for several years--the weeds are terrible. We're in desperate need of a goat or two. We evetually would like to growing most of our own food.<br><br>
Well, I wish you lived closer--I'd love to join your play group. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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I wish you lived in Weber County!!<br><br>
But I visit Cedar City about once a year--for the Shakespearean Festival. It's a lot of fun!
 

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Hey Springbabes, did you go to BYU too?<br><br>
How did you land in American Fork? I grew up in Canyon Country, which is now part of Santa Clarita (that sounds so snobby), and that includes Newhall, Saugus, and Valencia. It's near Magic Mountain if that helps. I miss it, but the way it was when I was a kid. Now it's like a mini L.A. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
I want to go back to California because I feel where I am now is just temporary, but I think that "temporary" might turn out to be 20 years. My dh does not want to move at all, let alone to California. He always wonders what's so special about it, and that's hard to explain. Maybe it's the weather or the culture or the diversity, but I think it's mostly the mindset. Californians generally have an entirely different way of looking at the universe. That way of thinking is familiar and comfortable to me. I'm trying to remember and practice that "comfortable" is not always good, though.<br><br>
Another reason I want to go back is so dd can tap into that mindset and feel empowered by it like I do. I fear the mindset here is so limiting and degrading. Here's another reason I want to go back, and it might sound totally cheesy, but here goes anyway: I'm proud of where I'm from. I'm a seventh generation Californian, and I want dd to be able to proudly claim that she's the eighth. That's just me, and I'd never admit such a shallow reason to dh. But who's to say? She may tell me to buzz off and that she's perfectly happy here and wants to become a Mormon. More power to her! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> It's her life, and she's got every right to live it how she wants it. I don't have to poison her with my issues. She'll have plenty of her own to deal with. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
What are your reasons for staying?<br><br>
And I so kwym about reaching the point where you have nothing against Mormons. I'm getting to the point where I don't feel so threatened or vulnerable any more. That's a huge step for me, psychologically and emotionally. I have lots of family and friends who are members, too. And I have a variety of friends who are not Mainstream Utah, but I still worry like you, Springbabes, that dd will be treated like an outcast and have to defend who she is to the core.<br><br>
Btw, I've just finished reading a book called <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Under the Banner of Heaven</span>. Fabulous. It gave me an actual pulse on what I had intuitively sensed but could never quite pin down about some things about the LDS church that gave me the creeps. Reading it was very cathartic and healing.<br><br>
I wished you lived closer, too!<br><br>
Hey A & A, if you want to hook up when you come down, just PM me and we'll exchange info. Do you ever make it this way, too, Springbabes? I've been thinking about making a trip to SLC to go to the planetarium. Maybe we could have a playgroup that meets once a year! :LOL
 

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Karen, DH got a really good job here in Utah County after he graduated from BYU so we've never left. Until recently we were living in Lehi and just moved to our mini-farm in American Fork in May. We would both love to leave but that never works out for us. My parents moved all the time when I was growing up and it was pretty economically unstable so I have a hard time saying, "OK, let's walk away from this job and go somewhere else." I really hope we can relocate before my kids start high school.<br><br>
My sister lives in Lancaster so I've heard her mention Santa Clarita. I know where Magic Mountain is <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> . Last time I was there visiting she took me up in the hills to Green Valley (I think that's what it was called) and Lake Elizabeth (??). Now that's a cool area! I would love to live there. BTW, she and her husband taught high school in Palmdale for a couple of years but they both hated it. Now she's substitute teaching and selling real estate.<br><br>
That is so cool to be a 7th generation Californian. My grandparents all settled there after the war so my parents were both born there. My grandmas are from Utah, though. Ideally, I would love to live in California again. The cost of real estate is something to consider. We certainly couldn't get a house on 3 acres there unless we were out in the desert. When I go back to visit it seems too crowded for my tastes but I know exactly what you're talking about when you say there is something special about California. I went throught major withdrawls when I first left, especially living in Rexburg, ID. I really don't like small towns. When DH and I first started talking about getting some land, I was hesitant because I didn't want to live so far from civilization. I really couldn't handle Cedar City, I don't think. I definitely feel for you. My very Mormon parents lived there for 1.5 years and hated it. I guess people always want to live where it feels like home for them. Luckily my DH is the exception--he grew up in a small town in Idaho. Population of 400 with a post office and a Mormon church--that's it.<br><br>
How did you meet your husband? Was he LDS too?<br><br>
I read Under the Banner of Heaven a few months ago. Great book! I think I finished it in like two days. I was familiar with most of the stories but the way he put it together was fantastic!<br><br>
I drive to California 2-3 times a year and I pass through Cedar City everytime <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> . We could get together for lunch on one of my trips down.
 

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Hey springbabes!<br><br>
Yeah, let's totally hook up on your way through here. Want to meet at Braun Books? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> The Pastry Pub is fabulous, too. I could maybe arrange for some other hip mamas whom I've met on MDC to join us, too.<br><br>
I feel for your sis and bil. Teaching in that area is a total killer. It's all changed so much there. My grandma was born and raised in Lancaster. When I see pictures of her from when she was a kid, it's an entirely different world. I think I'd like to move to northern California along the coast somewhere. Who knows what'll happen. And, you're right, the cost of real estate can be prohibitive. I might have dh talked into retiring there though. The few trips I take there a year are just teasers for me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><br><br>
My husband is firmly rooted here, but I'm ready to hop the next breeze outta here. He's a Cedar boy. Born here, grew up here, and to top it off, painfully shy and deathly afraid of big life changes <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/scared.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="scared"> , like moving. It must be the gypsy in me, but I'm down for selling the house and packing everything I own into a trailer (and give what won't fit to charity) and hit the road. It'd be the ultimate unschooling experience for dd and me. I have all kinds of crazy ideas like this, and my husband brings me back to Earth by asking how I'd finance it. I don't know. Sell some art? Weed gardens? Sell chicken eggs? Ride people's horses? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"> I'm sure I'd think of something. That'd be part of the adventure. See, opposites really do attract. Dh is the pragmatist and I'm the idealist.<br><br>
But I grew up in Canyon Country and never left (except for family trips, etc.) until I went to college. Springbabes, you're looking at moving from a side I can't fully know. I've known "military brats" and they have very strong feelings about moving around so much. They felt cheated by the impermanence and transient experiences of their childhood. To never feel "settled" is probably more than a little disturbing on some level.<br><br>
And you had a good point about being so far from civilization. When that fiber optic line was cut in Richfield a month or so ago, I had no way of contacting anyone outside of Cedar. All land-line long distance, as well as my mobile phone, was useless. No credit card could be used and all ATMs were caput. Sheesh! Talk about being thrown back a hundred years. It was really unsettling.<br><br>
And there isn't much to be said about diversity here. I'm really glad that the Shakespeare Fest is here. It brings more educated people around, and there is a strong counter culture that is starting to make its presence felt. I'm hoping it doesn't get squashed by the powers that be. I've been to Moab, and I liked the progressive feel of it. I feel a little of that brewing here, but I like what you said about how "people always want to live where it feels like home for them." And it just doesn't feel like home to me here. Dh knows how I feel about moving to California. It's been a source of many discussions. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"><br><br>
I met dh at a gym. (Btw, he's a recovering Mormon like I am.) I was in the middle of being this single, carefree career woman when I met him. I fell head over heels, the whole nine yards. Everything happened so fast. Moving in together (his LDS mom did not approve <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nono.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nono">), getting a house, having a baby. It all felt so right, and I had no consideration really for the future. I was living in the clouds so much, and the real skeletons in my closet had not started to make themselves known at that time. But none of that mattered except us. Isn't that how it goes?<br><br>
Now that the dust has settled and I'm facing my issues head on, in many areas of my life, the sh** started to hit the fan. That's also when my past, my heritage, caught up with me. I started to second guess everything I'd done for the past 10 or so years. I'm still married, but it hasn't been easy. Reconciling how I truly feel about where I am and what I want to do makes me want to run away to what's familiar. It sucks doing it, but I have to grow up and find peace where I am. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/duh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="duh"><br><br>
On a more physical level, I really have a hard time with the weather here. When it's not freezing, it's windy. I think there are maybe two days out of the year that I would consider pleasant enough to be outside all day. I'm used to the Santa Anas, but c'mon! Every tree here is permanently bent to the north. And I'm a lizard. I like it hot. 90 degrees is nice.<br><br>
Oh, another great book is called <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Mormon America</span>, by Richard N. Ostling and Joan K. Ostling. My dad's read both, too, and loves them. The info is presented so plainly that they are not condemning of the Mormon church, IMHO. The info is presented so that anyone unfamiliar with the LDS faith can understand the social, religious, and political roots of this marvelous religion. Those who are hostile toward Mormons may, unfortunately, use the info as fodder for their hatred. But looking at it from a purely historical perspective, ya know, stepping out of the religion of my childhood, both books are fabulous.<br><br>
Anyway, I'd better go. My laundry has blown off the swingset. That's where I dry the clothes! :LOL
 

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I'm not going to make it down to Cedar City this year. Bummer. I might go to the festival in Ashland, OR, though. We're thinking about moving because of exactly what you wrote about--feeling like this place is too limiting, perhaps for us and our kids. It's scary to move, though. We can't totally decide.
 

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Karen- I live about 45 mins away in St. George. My kids are always happy to meet other homeschoolers. Our homeschool group here is having a "back to school" swim party on the 16th (the day school starts in wash. co.) We have reserved the swimming pool from 6:30-9:00pm (the one at dixie high on 700 S). There is no cost.<br><br>
If you pm me your ph# and email I can have you added to our<br>
so. utah homeschoolers website. There are tons of things planned. Our group is as diverse as it can be here in so. utah LDS and non LDS.<br><br>
Have a great day!<br>
Sarahb
 
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