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Dh has been pretty good aout keeping his opinions to himself about cding. he has even attempted to change dd's dipes as long as they were aplix. He would leave soiled dipes for me to deal with. But..... we had to use sposies for a week and since then he keeps on arguing with me about cding. I was so happy to return to cloth. Although I was starting to doubt myself for a while there.Ifound these ecofriendly diapers here (Moltex), but alas after a week of sposies she had a terrible diaper rash (even though I made sure to slather on the burts bees all week). After a day back in cloth the rash disappeared.
Anyhow dh asked me if i feel I am a better mother than my best friend because i cd and she doesn't (she attempted for 2 weeks). I don't think i am a better mother than she is we just have different priorities. Needless to say that she knows the importance of cding, but she doesn't have a good machine and her dd got terrible rashes when she tried to cd.
Anyhow he keeps on asking me If sposies are sooo bad why aren't more mothers cding. And if they aren't soooo bad why do I need to cd. It's really bothering me. i wouldn't mind it from anyone else. I am not very crunchy. I am trying to cook healthier and buy more organic foods but we eat junk as well. I bf but also supplement with soy formula, we do not co sleep (well dd decided we do but ds never slept with us). We gd usually but not as much lately, we try our best though dh is disagreeing with some of that as well. Anyhow I am digressing. The point is cding was important for me though it is not a given in our lifestyle ( none of our friends cd). It's really frustratung having to explain my choices to dh after he agreed to make the switch. (Most of that stuff he leaves to me since i am home with the kids especially if I feel strongly about something).
Anyhow I just needed to complain a little to people who can relate.

Dahlia
 

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I can relate, mama!


We switched to cloth (FBs) a while back and DH HATED it. He hated it so much that I sold off my stash and we went back to sposies. I was sick with a lung disease (undiagnosed at that point) and just wasn't strong enough to fight at that point). Anyway, we are JUST making the switch back to cloth, and I promised DH that if he really hated it, I'd keep a few sposies around for him to use when he changes her. I'm not a super crunchy person either, and NONE of my good friends CD. I babysat for a woman who CD'd her baby a bit last year and thought it was cool to finally know someone else who uses cloth. Anyway, since he's seen most of our friends use sposies, he doesn't *get* why I'd want to use cloth, so I explain it to him (over and over and over again...
: ) from the standpoint it makes sense to him - finances. I tell him that we spend over $100 per month on sposies and sposie wipes (and that's not even that inflated of an amount!) and we can put that money to better uses than literally pooping on it and throwing it away. I remind him that he wouldn't pull out a $100 dollar bill and wipe his bottom... (and we don't talk about the fact that I covet $100 cloth dipes...
)

Anyway, that's what works with my DH, but I totally know where you're coming from. It's tough.
Hang in there!
 

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Dahlia,
Maybe it would help if you ask your DH about his specific concerns. Do you think that he really has a problem with CDs or is it that there is something else bothering him and CDs are being the scapegoat? Maybe he sees you trying to eat more healthful food, plus the CDs plus the co-sleeping, and all the change is worrying him? Is he bothered that your daughter is different from his friend's daughters? Or is there something going on in his life that is very stressful right now?

Of course, it's hard to tell since I don't know either of you, but it sounds to me like he's just trying to pick a fight... If you are the one changing the diapers, why should it matter to him what kind they are?

What does he say about your DDs rashes in sposies?
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Midnightowl,
DH is just questioning a lot of my parenting choices now. He is originally from Turkey and the people we know there have a very conventional if not primitive way of raising their children so he doesn't know anything else. My closest friend here (his best friends wife, also American) extended bf and copsleeps, cd and all the only thing she doesn't do is cd so he is questioning me now because she is the only example he has of anyone "crunchy" (for lack of better word).
Needless to say that MIL thinks I am crazy and I'm sure he hears about it. It just seems klike a huge effort to him and he doesn't know wther tombeleive everything I told him about the evil chemicals in diapers. (He still buys into if it was dangerous hospitals wouldn't use it on babys). I also have a big problem with doctors. I don't trust them especially gynecologists. I had 2 traumatizing births that made me very bitter towards the conventional medical profession (especially in Israel) and he thinks I am a little out of my mind when it comes to that as well. "If the doctor says he has to break my water because the monitor looks bad and my baby might be in trouble then we should let them break my water. Why shouldn't we trust and MD.")
He's slowly coming around, but sometimes it's just too exhausting to argue with him and try to convince him that conventional doesn't always equal truth.
With all that said heis a great husband and Dad and I love him dearly.

Dahlia
 

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I am sorry you have to deal with this. I know how stressful anything that causes tension between a dh and dw can be. My dh totally agrees with cding. He understands all about the chemicals, the green issues, and the financial aspects. He is supportive to others when the topic comes up, even MIL. But, everytime he smells one of the boys first thing in the morning, he complains and says that sposies have one advantage over cds....no ammonia smell in the morning.
 

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I'm sorry Dahlia.


My DH objected to CD'ing at first b/c of the extra laundry and work it would create. He just kept asking me "Why would you do that to yourself?" Anyway, I sprang the idea on my MIL and she thought it was a great idea.
My mom CD'd all of us and so of course I had her support. I think I finally won DH over (he still won't change one or put one on
when he saw that DS hasn't had a single rash since we've switched to cloth.

 

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My hubby thought i was a lunatic when i told him i wanted to clloth diaper but now he is ok with it. He deals with it as best as he can and complains from time to time but now he has so much invested in it (he bought the baby $300 worth of dipes) that he is not going to try to discourage me. He knows i do it for a few reasons and one is because it is fun. I dont nag him about his boat so he leaves me alone about this (which i mentioned to him once when he did try to bring it up) ...

There is so much info out there saying how CD'ing is more Enviromentally Friendly so maybe you can show him that. Maybe you can explain to him what is inside sposies. As far as being a better mom you hit the nail on the head ... you just have different priorities. Hang in there he will come around ...
 

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My DH was very anti-CDs. He was very, very upset when I wanted to switch. He's OK about it now, though he sees zero benefit-- does it just for me.

Anyway, I think you are looking at 2 issues:
(1) You have no choice but to CD, as your daughter gets rashes from sposies. Therefore, there is no argument here about why you personally do it. Does your DH understand this?
(2) It sounds like your DH is trying to rile you up. If I were you, the one and only "excuse" you should offer to your CD is about the rashes. If he's like my DH, then any other factor won't matter and you'll never convince him, so don't bother. He'll give up talking about it if you do, too.
 

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We just went through this the other day! When my now 2 yr old was a newborn, he would get rashes from disposables, every single time! So I was using cloth on him pretty much from the beginning (I was going to anyway, I just had free disposables I was going to use up).
So the other day dh put a disposable on him, and he was wearing disposables all day (dh changed him). So at night, he was changing him and said that it looked like his penis hurt, and I should stop using cloth.
Hello?! His thing probably hurt cause he was in disposables all day, DUH! I then told him that I don't feel like budgeting $60 a month for disposables (but someone said it was $100? Plus I have 2 in dipes --anyone know how much that would be?).
Ugh. If I'm doing the changing and washing and he's not getting rashes, I don't understand what's the big deal!
 

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I guess I would say my dh is not wildly on board with the CD. However, my feeling is that I change the majority of dipes (I am with the kids all day) so I make the call. When dh changes which is only once a day (at most!) he does grab a sposie which makes me crazy
(but again he is changing the diaper so I feel like it is his choice-thankflly we have never had trouble with rashes). When we could easily trifold and velcro cover and dd wasn't wiggly THEN he would CD but that hasn't been for a couple of months.

I just sprung the idea on him that I am starting to consider DIY CD...buy my own prefolds since we use a diaper service now. Here he thinks I have totally lost it. He is worried that I am just making even more work for myself (which is actually very very sweet).

My feeling is that there really isn't much of a discussion around this since I am doing the work.
 

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I have a DH who totally came around on the subject - but it took him a year.

When we made the switch my son was 3 months old. I did not consult my husband first, as I was staying at home at the time and was doing 100% of the diaper changing. DH didn't seem to mind a whole lot, since he didn't do any of the work, but he boggled a bit at the finance aspect (tell me again how you're saving money?)

When I started back in at school (DS was 5 months) and DH had to do a lot of changing I really started to hear it. "I can't tell which one is which!" "how was I supposed to know that was a diaper! I thought it was a cover! Just get me some REAL diapers!" "Tell me AGAIN how we're saving money!" "I forgot to bring a spare - he never would have NEEDED a spare if he was wearing a REAL diaper"

I finally promised that I would get him diapers that HE liked. So we went over what he liked in a diaper. It had to be an AIO (DH changes a lot at the park, mall, etc...he really likes to take the kids out-and-about while I'm at school, and really values quick changes). No side-snapping, velcro if possible, etc. Very stereotypical "daddy diaper" kind of stuff. I made him a bunch of windpro front-velcro AIOs.

Funny enough, DH really started to love CDing when I discovered wool covers over fitted diapers about 5 months ago. He LOVES the idea of leaving Tony in just a fitted while they're in the house, and throwing on a cover when they'll go out (when he grabs the bag that I STILL need to pack, with the AIOs and wipes and spare outfits). Of course, it took a YEAR of watching the kids 6+ hours 4 days a week for him to come around, but FINALLY he did. I think a lot of it had to do with my telling him that we WOULD find something that HE liked, and then figuring out what that was and getting him his very own "daddy stash". For a while he needed constant reminders that we WERE indeed saving money, but since I am the finance-person around here, he doesn't really have any idea - it was just one of those husbandly-type concerns.

We have disposable diapers in the trunk "just in case". The package is about 8 months old and is unopened. When we got a freebie pull-up in the mail the other day, DH says "that might even be comfortable if it wasn't crinkly" and "wow, I can't believe you can only use those ONCE!" And while he's not about to start doing the diaper laundry, he DID walk over to the newly reorganized and folded diaper shelves and say "that's beautiful!"

Just a little happy story :). Remember, it took nearly a full year of naysaying, another couple months of silence, and only now I finally have a CD-lovin' DH. Take heart, it may happen :)
 

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I get slack for it, too.

DD started getting rashes every time she wore disposables, but he believes that she would have never stopped tolerating them had I not introduced cd's in the first place.

He is completely disgusted by the mess.

He grew up in an exclusively cd'ing community (in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia- disposables were prohibitively expensive), so it's very interesting to see his reaction and his family's reaction. His brother, who lives in Eritrea and cd's, was really impressed by the variety of cd's we've accumulated- much less mess than the pf's and covers he's used to.

He doesn't want to dunk or shake poo out. Hell, half the time he won't even put the dirty diaper in the pail, just drop it on the floor and wince. He's very erratic about putting new diapers on and cleaning pee accidents on the floor.

I'm very curious to see what happens when #2 comes along in a couple of months. DD is potty training, so her messes are very limited, but there will be much more with the new baby.

To make matters more complicated, he will be staying at home during the day with this baby, as he did with dd and her disposables.

My hope is that disposable diper liners will save the day. Otherwise I'll be reckoning with a whole lot of crusty poo.

I think he'll come around, though. Because he does seem to enjoy my tours of our diaper acquisitions and the stories about how we manage to get things for so cheap thanks to my auction-hounding. Once the money tightens even more and he sees that we don't have to buy dipes, I think he'll see the light.

*cross your fingers*

Thanks for this post, though. Nice to see we're not the only ones.
 

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My DH thought I was nuts when I first switched to cd's. He was like "You're going to do WHAT with the poops?!"
At first whenever he would change DS he would switch back over to sposies. Then I stopped buying sposies all together so he had to use cd's. His biggest complaint was that we had too many different kinds of diapers and he couldn't tell what was what. One day I came home and DS was wearing a wool cover as a diape! :LOL

So I asked my DH what his favorite diapers were and he said Growing Greens and FB's, so we bought more of them. Whenever he changes DS now he uses a GG or FB beause he "understands" these diapers. Now he's not so anti-cloth.

Just the other day we picked DS up from my mom's house and he had a sposie on (my mom REFUSES to do cloth) and DH said "What is he wearing?! Let's get him home and get a REAL diaper on him"

I was so proud
 

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I just wanted to pop in to say that my husband is coming around fast (thank god). He changed dd's diaper in the middle of the night last night, and I braced myself, pretending to be asleep, to see what he'd put in the pocket, and fortunately this morning there were no leaks.

And then we discussed cloth diapering the new baby again this morning, and he seems to have come around, because of the money-saving aspects and those disposable diaper liners.

Give him a few months, and I suspect we'll see a little enthusiasm.

That was a great suggestion to let him choose, though. Once he starts to get in the swing of things, I'll ask for his expert advice.
 

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I can probably count on one hand how many diapers my dh has changed. (sposie or not) I know for a fact he hasnt changed one of Wesleys! He riles me up about cloth and loves to tease me and go "not only does my wife cloth diaper...she goes on the computer and TALKS about cloth diapering... then she sews a cloth diaper and gets EXCITED" But he is smart enough not to push buttons. He does other things that cloth diapering is just my thing. I know if I switched to sposies he wouldnt change many more diapers so to me it isnt worth it.

on the rash thing. Use some good cream for a few days, that should clear it up. Maybe that little butt was used to being "dry" and was getting cloth shock. I know there are some good wahm based butt balms. The only one I have actually tried is from mamasfavorites and it is
worth the $$ and I think it will last me for the next 12 kids
 
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