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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
and did you decide to continue bf while ttc or to wait to ttc or to wean?

and is there anything safe to take while bf? b/c my baby died five weeks ago and i'm still carrying it around. i was wondering if it doesn't pass on it's own can i take anything to start the process?

thanks
 

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2 times- i kept bf and am still bf 8mo. ttc as well. I am hoping for baby#3!
no advice, I just do my best with health and timing I guess.
So Sorry for you loss
 

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I'm so sorry about your loss - have you known for long? Are you ok with continuing to wait for your body to complete the pregnancy? Wow, five weeks ... How far along were you when you found out?

I was bf my 18 month old when I miscarried at 12 weeks ... and continued to nurse him while I was ttc and carrying his brother. The m/c process for me took about 2 weeks and I took homeopathic blue and black cohosh, although I'm not convinced it really did anything.

Waiting was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'll be thinking about you.

Barbara
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
i just found out yesterday. i have a feeling it will happen soon, just a feeling.

i dont know about a d and c. i feel like no one understands why i don't want to do that. i would probably have to be separated from my son? and take pain meds not compatible with bf? plus lots of other reasons i would rather just let it happen. i don't know how long i can wait though.
 

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my first 2 losses happened while i was breastfeeding. both times i took cytotec to start labor after waiting many weeks as i couldn't handle anymore waiting. my daughter did wean during my second loss and didn't want to restart when my milk came in.

take care

tara
 

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I've had 2 m/c while BF, both started on there own but this last one the baby died 4 weeks before my body figured it out. If you dont want to take the drugs there are herbs you can take to jump start things. You can pick up a copy of Susan Weeds book "herbs for the child bearing year" or get the recipes here http://www.naturalmiscarriage.org/world/last-resort.htm but be warned, the site is actually about inducing herbal abortions but if your body still thinks its pregnant the advice applies.
 

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I had emergency surgery-- morphine, codeine, the works for pain from the c-section. DS was 2 1/2 nursing once/day. Doctor said it was fine for him to nurse. that was 8 months ago and he's still doing alright.

I am sorry for your loss. Nursing my son helped me through it, a little bit.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by nichole
and did you decide to continue bf while ttc or to wait to ttc or to wean?
We continued to bf and also to ttc. I didn't want to wean and waiting to ttc isn't an option because of my age.

I'd suggest talking with a homeopath for something that will start things going. I understand not wanting a d&c.

I'm so sorry for your loss.
 

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I weaned DS 2 weeks before my m/c. I had known for a while I was ready to wean--that is, I didn't wean because of the pregnancy, and I am glad of that. It was sad for me to not be able to nurse him when I was grieving; it seemed like it wouldve helped us stay close, and would have been comforting for both of us. I hope that is how it is for you. Blessings.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
i had some cramping last night and a "feeling" but no bleeding yet. i am giving this 2-3 more weeks tops before going to an OB to discuss my options. sigh

i think i will continue to bf. that surely was not the cause b/c the baby died and i am still waiting to have the m/c. it is not like i had contractions and lost a healthy baby. i know it is supposed to be safe to bf while pregnant, but it is just kinda messing with my mind.
 

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I had a m/c while bf
i am so sorry, even a year and a half later the pain is there for me.
i second the susun weed book, herbal for the childbearing year.
i was alone, for most of it, (my midwife came eventually-i called her right in the middle-she also gave me herbs, etc.) and i would suggest having someone there-if you go to the dr. i would still have someone there for emotional support.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
well i wanted to give an update. any opinions or guesses as to when this might happen are welcome.

wed - my beta hcg was 9,000
frid-6,000

thurs i had some cramping. yesterday i started bleeding (monday). today (tues) there seems to be more bleeding but nothing serious. my midwife is sending me for a rhogam shot.

i am not sure to see an OB or not. i would like to give it a few days since i started bleeding. however i would like to make an appointment with an OB for maybe a few days from now just to discuss my options b/c i dont want to wait for weeks and weeks. well my insurance company is being a total PITA about seeing the backup OB so i'm not sure what to do. i'm not sure when to make the appointment for? firday or wait til tuesday?? and should i just pay out of pocket to see these backup ppl because they are supposed to be in the natural childbirth community? i am hoping that will get worked out and it will get covered.

what do you guys think?
 

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I am so sorry for your loss. May I ask why you want to see an Ob? Is it to talk about a D&C? It sounds like everything is happening. I breastfed while TTC and then during pg and m/c. In fact the pain of nursing while pg was the last pg symptom to go. I was "lucky" in that I started spotting on a Sunday, went in on Monday and found out. Thursday, I started some bleeding and by Friday morning, my body let go of the baby, so I didn't have much time to think about other choices.

You asked about a D&C. You will have to be separated from your child. They can knock you out or give you a local. My LC said that at my dd's age, then 3.5, it wouldn't affect her given her size and how often she nursed (not much).

One thing I didn't see mentioned anywhere, maybe because it's unrelated to your question, but make sure you drink lots of fluids. You may be doing that anyway for nursing, but be even more aware of that need. And get as much rest as possible. With a little one to take care of it's hard, I know,m but ask for help if you need it.

Best of luck to you. Take care.
 

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Nichole, I'm so sorry for your loss. I was bf'ing when I miscarried, and will continue to do so while ttc again. We're working on nightweaning, but for unrelated reasons.
I too learned that I would be miscarrying before I had any symptoms, and chose to wait. It happened within 5 days, and I was very happy that I did not get a d&c. I did not want to go in pregnant, and just come out with nothing. I wanted to have that time to get used to the idea, say goodbye, and I also wanted to experience it consciously. I also didn't want the sac/embryo to just be discarded, or go to some path lab. (we 'cremated' it) Of course there are times when you don't have a choice in the matter, but I feel fortunate that I did.
If that is the main reason to see an ob, I would say you can safely hold off. Of course, if you would feel better to have it over with, that's a different story. Best wishes, and keep us posted.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
hi i really don't want a d&c. but i dont want to carry this baby for weeks and weeks either.

not sure what to do or how long to wait. my mw really wants me to see an OB "later on this week."

i made the appointment for the only day they had available- thurs and will pay out of pocket.
 

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I m/c while nursing my then almost 2 yr old. I had 2 ultrasounds, and never saw a heartbeat. I didn't find out that anything was definately wrong until I started spotting and had a 3rd ultrasound. I passed everything the next day, so it was pretty fast for me. The technician at the hospital had told me it could happen the next day or it could take up to 2 weeks. I hope yours is sooner rather than later. I'm not sure that my m/c didn't have something to do with the breastfeeding. Don't get me wrong. I'm a huge breastfeeding advocate, and I didn't stop nursing my DS. I did cut way back and nightweaned though when I started TTC again. He was nursing a lot when I m/c. I think part of my problem is low progesterone. The breastfeeding can be a factor for low progesterone, so I'm now taking mega pre-natal vitamins, and lots of extra B6 and folic acid, along with Vit. E and Flax . The B6 can help with the progesterone. I'm also on progesterone suppositories while TTC, so hopefully that will keep the next baby in there. Everyone is different, and most of the time breastfeeding is not an issue. You might want to start charting our cycles when you decide to TTC again (if you don't already,) so you get an idea of how long your luteal phase is (between ovulation and your period) and if you have low temperatures or not. That will help determine if there is a progesterone problem. Anyway, I'm going on and on now.......just let me know if you ever need more info about any of this. Some good books for TTC are "Taking Charge of you fertility" and "Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition." You should start vitamin supplements 2-3 months before TTC. I didn't do anything for about the first 6 weeks. I just didn't want to think about TTC until after that. I'm so sorry for your loss. Keep us posted!
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
i would like to write a little more now that i have time. i think typing it out helps. seeing some responses makes me feel very supported.

how long would i be separated from my son if i had the d&c? he is very comfortable with his grandparents. when would i be able to tend to him again as in when does the medicine wear off? i want to find out exactly what the risks are. i'm not afraid of the procedure- just worried about risks and think emotionally it would be better not to. but i just can't imagine waiting too much longer.

my son is nursing four times a day. he sleeps well most nights but there have been some nights where he nursed A LOT. i think i could get him down to 2x a day very easily after i'm through with all this.

i kinda don't want to see the OB tomorrow. but i will probaby go. it is just to see what they have to say. i want lots of info as in what are my options and the risks of each one. they are supposed to be really in tune to their patients and in the natural childbirth community. and they can't really pressure me in to anything b/c they aren't on my insurance and i would have to find someone else if we are going to go through with the procedure.

i am hoping that this m/c will happen soon and i will not need the OB. i kinda hope it happens today and i just don't show up. my midwife said it will happen very fast? i have a playdate to take my son to today. i'm not sure if i should go since i am bleeding. maybe i will be late and leave early..i dunno.
 

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with my last loss i choose a d&c. from the time i checked in to the time i walked out of the hospital was 4 hours, i have no idea how long the anethesia lasts, but i felt fine. i didn't need any of the pain relievers they gave.
some woman just don't let go of their babies for a long time, with the first we had to induce labor to getthings moving after more then 4 weeks (with very minimal and light spotting, so light i never needed a pad). this past one was our third loss and the baby had died about 4 weeks prior and my body still had no idea, i had full morning sickness and all the pregnancy symptoms still.

the uncertainy is very hard to deal with, i know with my first loss the waiting was therapeutic to me and i needed it to come to terms with things even though we did induce. this past time i couldn't stand the thought of waiting yet again and i needed to closure sooner rather then later.

it is a hrd thing to go through

take care

tara
 

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Nichole-
I am so sorry for your loss. I had a D&C with my loss. I was not given other options at the time, and was not at all happy with the way things went. But everything happened so fast with me. I found out at my 15 week appointment that the baby had died a few days before, and went for the d&c the next day. Not a lot of time to deal with the loss. But on the good side, I was only apart for a few hours from my children and was breastfeeding my then 15 month old. My mom is an IBCL, and the OB called to check about nursing afterwards, and was told that I didn't have to wait. The pain was very limited to a bit of cramping, so I didn't need any pain medication afterwards. They can give you pain medication that is OK with nursing if you need it. I am still bfing my now 18 month old and will continue while ttc, but I do understand about it messing with your head. I have had totally crazy concerns at times about it too, but am so happy I didn't wean when I was pregnant this time, because it has been such a comfort to have my little guy to hold a nurse after the loss.
 
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