With each of the 3 previous pgs we found out. It never occurred to me not to...actually it never even occurred to me not to have the u/s either...
This time around, we using midwives and not the ob route with the spector of routine u/s. And I had said from the beginning that I would not do any u/s unless they were medically indicated and that I didn't know if I wanted to find out the gender in that situation.
Ultimately we did have 1 u/s, at 19.5 weeks -- in order to check cervical integrity (since I lost pg #2 at 21 weeks due to cervical failure...).
DH and I spoke about finding out the gender and I told him I thought I could wait but wanted to listen to his opinion. Part of me REALLY wanted to find out, because I had had a feeling since I found out I was pg that I was carrying a girl for the first time. A little tiny part of me said, if it's a boy, I want to know now, and assimilate that news, not at birth. I had a fear (irrational though it might be) that believing I was having a girl for all those months, and then delivering a boy...well, I thought that might be a bit of a jolt for me. Although I knew I'd love that child regardless, I really did worry a bit about how this jolt would impact our immediate bonding.
DH made the decision for us, though, because he REALLY wanted to know. So, I told the baby for the whole week before the u/s that if he/she wanted us to know, then that would be up to him/her to show us. And that if that was best to be kept secret, that would be ok too.
In the first minutes of the u/s, it didn't look like we were going find out...the position just wouldn't allow it. But then there was much movement and after seeing the 'goods' 3 times, the tech told us she was 100% sure we were having a girl.
I've seen lots of little boy parts in all my previous u/s and this was way different! So I believe it! So, we've welcomed this little girl wombling into our family and love knowing her name and talking to her every day. For me that is one of the BEST things about finding out before birth -- we always have a name chosen and begin using the baby's name as soon as we find out.
I understand and respect others' wanting to wait until birth...that's cool too. This is just the way that works best for us.