Well, DD is only 4.5 and we are more unschooling types so take my response for what it's worth.
DH is a SAHD and I work full-time a telecommuter for a large corporation. I'm pretty tied to my schedule but the bulk of my co-workers are in different time zones. It gives me some flexibility. But, without a doubt DH is her primary caregiver.
I get a bunch of activities organized that I think they might enjoy and put them into different categorical boxes. But, none of them are things they have to do. It's more just some things I found that I think they might enjoy if they need some ideas. It lets me feel like I'm contributing to their days and it helps feed my natural planning/organizing tendencies without giving way to being overly controlling.
Otherwise, I'd say learning was organic around here. DH is inherently interested in things that I am not, and vice versa. For example, DH loves making up number games so they are always talking about numbers and math with each other. But, I'm all about language so she and I play word games, talk about language, she comes to me for spelling, etc. I am more drawn to arts/crafts, but DH likes gardening and cooking, etc. I like biology; he likes physics. I like to swim; he likes to take walks, etc...
Basically, our interests define the types of things we naturally talk to her about. So, I just expect her learning to evolve from there as she develops more of her own interests, we'll do whatever we can to foster them. For example, she loves horseback riding so a lot of our learning as a family right now is all about different aspects of that.
But, it's extremely unlikely that any of us would ever be happy/satisfied sitting down with a curriculum or doing any structured schooling at home. DD is a perfectionist who gets frustrated if she does not understand something she thinks she should, and DH and I approach instruction so completely differently that we would be equally frustrated with the way the other was doing it if we were trying to do anything formal. At my worst, I am a control freak and I would hate to be in a position where I was telling DH what he had to do with her daily. At his worst, he is passive aggressive and would resent me telling him what to do but instead of telling me that would have 1000 reasons why they never accomplished what they were supposed to do. It would be a complete failure for our family.
Wow. That felt good to write down. I knew in my heart why a structured approach would not work for us, but I am now finally able to verbalize it. I need to have DH read this thread.
Holli