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I let DD cry a few times out of sheer desperation. Not my finest moment for sure but I was really losing it and couldn't go get her. What I learned: CIO doesn't seem to help her fall asleep. She just works herself up more and more as she cries, and eventually I was worried she would vomit from the stress (or at least those were the sounds she was making). There's a great blog called "Ask Moxie" and she talks about how for some kids they cry to release stress and then feel better while for others it causes stress to build up more. Well, my DD is definitely one of the latter!

So no more crying for us, I mean sometimes she will cry once or twice and stop, I wait that out (I have gone in right away before only to see her still asleep). But after a couple of minutes I go in and get her. I sympathize with the stress, DD has had rough nights when she would sleep one sleep cycle (45 min) at a time, and by the time she fell asleep and I put her down I only had 20 minutes to sleep before she woke again. Those were a rough few nights. *shudder* And we were not breastfeeding so don't let anyone blame it on that either.

What finally helped us is teaching DD to fall asleep on her own in her crib (after rocking, warm milk, and a snuggle) while I (usually) sit beside her on the floor. She seems much less disoriented when she wakes at night and therefore can get back to sleep on her own or not even wake fully. She is 2 now and wakes up once some nights, not at all others. This is quite the improvement from 4-5 wake ups a year ago. So you can get better sleep through methods other than CIO. Talk with your DH about what is/isn't working for him. If it's just hearing about other babies maybe he needs to stop venting about sleep issues at work.
 

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DD used to cry in the car when she was tiny too. I spent lots of our drives with my hand draped over the top of her (rear facing) car seat so she could suck on my finger. It calmed her a lot since we did supplemental feeding with a tube held on our finger so it had a positive association for her. It was hard on my shoulder though, plus at times a little tricky to drive that way.
 
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