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I just say "Nah, that's not something we do. It doesn't work for our family" like Rachet suggested. If they ask why I'm prepared to say I treat my kids like I treat my spouse: with respect and attentive love. Sometimes this bothers people and I'm not sure why, unless it makes them feel insecure.

FWI, my 4 mo screams in the car, always has and generally it's just because he wants to be held. So when I am driving 45 minutes home from my mom's house, with my toddler and newbie, DS2 cries. I stop for nursing and cuddles, check his diaper, but the instant I put him back in the carseat he screams. So I'm driving home as fast and safe as I can with a hysterical baby who wants his mama. And sometimes he has to just scream for 15 minutes while I sing at the top of my lungs to him and hold his hand (driving one handed). It's not a pretty thing.

My point is this: when I finally get home, DS2 and I are both a wreck. But it takes soooo much time to calm him down. He stops crying but he is so clingy and fussy, taking much longer than normal to fall asleep. He doesn't act his normal self, and rightly so since he's been subjected to such emotional and physical turmoil. I feel so sad he has to CIO in the car and we stay home a lot more because of this. It helps me feel very justified in never letting my babies CIO.

Also, my mom let me and my siblings CIO and I admit I do feel resentment for that now. On a recent car trip she was with me when DS2 cried in the car and after he finally fell asleep, she said his screams didn't really bother her. I wanted to grab her shoulders and shake her and yell at her. I love my mom and she's an awesome person but I don't know how she could have done THAT to me.
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