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OP, I haven't read the entire thread, but I only have a moment & wanted to share our experience w CIO. It was HORRIBLE!

I tried w DS2 bc xh couldn't sleep well for work & I basically felt I had little support to do otherwise. We laid him down very sleepy, but not asleep after nursing, in his cradle, rubbed his back a moment, & left the room quietly. We let him cry for under 5 excruciating minutes-- did I say cry? I meant scream bloody murder. We went back to get him a la Ferber (or at least a version thereof), and xh was the first thru the door. DS screamed for him, was comforted by us both, spent the night in our bed from then 'til he was wanting his own bed much later. BUT... just xh comforting him first really changed my relationship with him- not in a positive way. I think he blamed me & it really hurt us in our bonding. He was a baby & had no way of knowing it was xh's pressure to do this! I was already expecting #3 at that time, so I don't think we fully recovered our bond after that until years later.

I know this is not everyone's experience & I don't disparage anyone for whom CIO works. This was my experience, tho & I hope you find some encouragement here, OP!
 
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