[greenbeing]

I'm still trying to decide what to do next year!! My ds has a birthday on Sept. 30, one day before the cutoff for kinder. Right now he attends a ps/dc. This ps also has a 5 year old room and a private kinder. I'm not necessarily wanting him to go to the 5 year old room because I've heard it's a lot of what he's been doing this year(way too many worksheets!). Also, I don't get a good feeling from the teacher. So I thought I would send him to the K there and then if he wasn't ready to move on to 1st, I would start him in K at the school in our neighborhood. My ds is bright, knows everything he needs to for kinder, is curious about the world, wants to learn to read, is very focused, and tends to be reserved until he feels comfortable in a situation (some may say shy). This last point is why I'm hesitant to send him to full on kinder at the public school.

I would love for him to go to a Montessori school for 1 year and then to K, but it's not looking like we can afford that right now...I don't know what to do. I don't want to send him into the kinder where he's at now and then regret it. And then I'm also wondering if we did send him and I had him repeat at the school he'll be attending for 1st, would that affect his self-esteem?

If anyone has any experience/thoughts/suggestions...I would greatly appreciate it!

And one more thing...Next year (2010-2011), we'll probably be moving to another state (CA or NC) so depending on what their cutoff dates are for kinder, that may play into my decision...

 

[meemee]

if your son is bright DO NOT have him repeat K. he will be bored out of his mind.

i would try prek and then first grade. if you can afford private preK and find a good school, i would send him there. i find tooo many K kids complain there is not enough fun activity in K. and yet those coming from preK into first dont have the same complaint. mind you though first grade is hard on most kids. really hard. so no matter where they are they have a hard time transitioning.

if at the end of it your option is public K talk to your teacher about your son.

also what is a huge HUGE help is if you can volunteer in ds's class. big difference. i see you have a little dd too and it might be tough but if you could do that it would really be great for ur son if he is having trouble adjusting. i know it made a world of difference for my dd.

in CA the cutoff date is dec 2nd i think or dec 3rd.

 

[jjawm]

My 9 yo repeated K. He was pretty immature, and we thought a year would help. It didn't - I think it's more his personality - goofy, inattentive. If we were to do it over again, I would not repeat him.

 

[Mirzam]

My middle dd's birthday is September 30 also and the cut-off date for kindergarten where we are. We did have her repeat and never regretted the decision. She was in a Waldorf inspired public focus school so kindergarten was very Waldorfy, play-based with the addition of a little reading/number work, but no way could it be described as academic. We kept her back largely for social reasons. Her first year she was always "the baby" in games and very much a follower. Academically, she was in the middle so could have gone either way.

 

[snowmom5]

If the only thing you're worried about is shyness/introversion, I don't see what that has to do with repeating a grade. IMO, I agree wholeheartedly that having a bright child with no academic concerns repeat a grade (or held back) would be a mistake.

Some kids "come out of their shells" at various ages. Some stay shy/introverted their whole lives. I don't think that aspect of personality should have any place at all in deciding on the correct grade level for a child.

My guess is that if you start him in K (which IMO you should since he sounds ready to me), I would have no reason to believe that he would not be ready for first grade at the end of that.

I have a very shy/very introverted dd who during K I literally had to walk into the building every day for the entire year of K. I ended up switching schools for her for other reasons to a montessori school for first grade. She was still shy during first grade but has made quite the turnaround in second grade. She'll always be somewhat introverted (and there's nothing wrong with that - it's not something that needs to be fixed!) but she has more friends now than before. Academically she's above grade level. I don't see how one has to do with the other - personality vs. appropriate academic level.

p.s. just FYI, there is a tendency amongst bright individuals to be introverted (while more than two thirds of people in this country are extroverted, about two-thirds of gifted people are introverted though I can't remember the exact statistic at this moment)

 

[TiredX2]

Quote:

Originally Posted by greenbeing And one more thing...Next year (2010-2011), we'll probably be moving to another state (CA or NC) so depending on what their cutoff dates are for kinder, that may play into my decision...

http://www.journal.naeyc.org/btj/200503/01Kauerz.asp

North Carolina = October 16
California = December 2

It looks like there will be more younger children whichever state you move to, making me more likely to *not* hold DS back.

 

[UUMom]

It's Aug 30 where I am.

 

[MelMel]

my girl's b-day is October 17th, so she started a full day K at age 4 (for only a month

) after no preschool, and me being a stay at home mom, who had been planning to unschool. (so no flashcards, no base learning whatsoever) she threw me for a loop when she asked to go to school.

anyway, she did well, went on to the first grade, and is excelling at age 6 in the first. Her K and now first grade weren't all worksheets, though, the kids had alot of fun. I worry about second grade, my stbx has a 2nd grader living with him (his girlfriends child) and I see her work, and I don't want my 6yr old doing it.

She is not introverted, but she gets severe anxiety and shyness when she is the absolute focus....and while she is doing well, she is just above average. So we are going to have her go through 1st grade again next year. she is fine with it, she will be with a different teacher, and her teacher said a few of the other children will be repeating for various reasons, so she will have some of her friends with her as well.

I am excited, and even introduced the idea at the beginning of the year. I don't want her to feel pushed, socially or academically. I want school to be fun, and repeating won't hurt her in any way, only make learning a bit more fun since she will have a jump. besides, all the kids in her class are 1 year, or more, older than her. In our current school district, you have to be 5 by June 30th to be accepted into K. lol.

as I told her teacher, I don't want her to be in high school, and all her friends are driving and dating, and getting pregnant a year or more ahead of her.

 

[ChristaN]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TiredX2 http://www.journal.naeyc.org/btj/200503/01Kauerz.asp North Carolina = October 16 California = December 2 It looks like there will be more younger children whichever state you move to, making me more likely to *not* hold DS back.

lol! I was going to post the same thing. I'm from CA originally -- grew up there. The cut-off used to be 12/31, but they've pushed it "back" to 12/2. It's still one of the later ones nation wide.

We've not had experience with repeating, but do have kids with late August and late Sept. bds in a district with Sept and Oct cut-offs (varies by district where we live). My younger one made the cut-off in the district she started K in by 3 days and actually does not make it in the district she is in now, but they didn't make her repeat b/c she had already completed K in the other district.

My brother did repeat a grade in elementary and it didn't seem to have any detrimental effects on him. He has a November bd and started K at 4. My parents did it for social reasons & b/c he was very small. In general, I understand that research does not support repeating grades as a good way to address social, personality, or academic concerns, though.

If you think that there's a possibility that you'd have him do two years of K, I would not do them both at the same school, though b/c I do believe that there is a stigma to that. The few kids I know who have repeated a grade in the same school are viewed as stupid by the other kids

.

 

[askew]

We are dealing with this same dilemma. My son's day is Nov 25th and we are in CA where the cut off is December 2. I can not decided which way to go either. Intellectually and academically he is ready to go, socially he is more of an observer and a bit more reserved, but not shy.

It's tough. I was the youngest in my grade and hated being the last to turn 13 and then 16 etc. I wonder if it would be worse for a boy. Being the youngest and perhaps smallest. I have no idea which way to go either. Sorry I am no help!

 

[straighthaircurly]

Sounds to me like he is ready to be in K. Unless there is a strong academic reason or major social delay, he should stay on track according to his age. We had some concerns about our rather socially immature but very bright DS (bday 2 weeks before cutoff here) starting K this past fall and we were prepared for him to repeat if necessary. But he has thrived with our strong support on the home front and a wonderfully supportive teacher and admin. So move forward with K, honor his intelligence, and expect great success. You can always have him repeat if it is a disaster for some reason but chances are he will do just fine.

 

[Rose-Roget]

We, too, are in the same position. Ds has a Sept 23 birthday, and cutoff is Oct. 15. I've often thought that if we decided to repeat k, we'd try to do it at different schools. He will be in a Montessori next year for his "kindergarten" year, but I've already prepared him that sometimes kids do 2 years of kindergarten (he's very aware of the kindergarten concept - not sure why).

At this point, I'm honestly thinking that he's going to be too far ahead academically and will get bored. He is a little slower socially, though, so it worries me for the future. It's so hard to predict 8 years down the road!

 

[ChristaN]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rose-Roget It's so hard to predict 8 years down the road!

One thing that dd#1's literacy teacher said to me last year when we were making some decisions regarding her placement for this year is that you should do what is right for the child right now, not what you think will be the right thing 10 years down the line. None of us has a crystal ball to tell us how our choices will play out for our children, unfortunately.

 

[WC_hapamama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by angelika13 We are dealing with this same dilemma. My son's day is Nov 25th and we are in CA where the cut off is December 2. I can not decided which way to go either. Intellectually and academically he is ready to go, socially he is more of an observer and a bit more reserved, but not shy.

I was in the same place with my DD (she has an 11/18 b-day) a couple of years ago, and we decided to send her anyway... she did just fine. Academically she has held her own. She's working right at grade level, and has lots of little friends.