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My son was stillborn a day after his due date. I went through the entire pregnancy with no complications. I went in for a normal checkup on my due date, and they found no heartbeat. They think he had passed away about a week before. It's true that I didn't feel as much movement. I looked online and saw things like "less movement in the last few weeks is normal"...then I would "think" that I felt something, but now I realize that it was probably my baby floating around bumping into my sides. I should have listened to my instincts, but I chose to ignore them because I didn't know that something like this could happen for no reason. He died from "cause unknown". I was devastated. It took me a year to decide to try again, and here I am 13 weeks pregnant with my third baby. I'm just wondering if anyone else had anything similar happen...or any type of stillbirth? I've never had a miscarriage and it sounds devastating to all the women who have endured them. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my daughter Norah at 40 weeks, cause unknown 2.5 years ago. Since then I have went on to have two more babies. Being pg after a loss is nerve wracking and difficult. Check out the pg after loss thread, many mamas on there with all types of losses (((HUGS)))
 

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Yes, we lost Fiona at 38 weeks, with an uncomplicated pregnancy. I'm 12 weeks along with our third now as well.
 

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yep. we lost Aquila, who was my fourth child by birth, on Dec 19th, 4 days after her due date. she died a few minutes before being born due to a placental abruption. i am now 13 weeks along, due on dec 15th- exactly 11 months after i was due with Aquila..
 

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We lost Lucia at 36 weeks, cause unknown. My intuition tells me it had to do with the cord, I am about 99% sure.<br><br>
I was pregnant again 9 weeks later and have baby girl Luca now, she is 3.<br><br>
I am pregnant now, we are in the same DDC, Ill be 15 weeks on saturday.<br><br>
I like the monthly PAL thread in this forum, the support from mamas with previous losses means so much to me, I have met some wonderful people through PAL threads here on MDC.<br><br>
HUGS, hang in there, the subsequent pregnancy (ies) are long journeys...but man the prize we are aiming for is so worth it.
 

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We lost Soren at 39+wks. I say "39+wks" because he was born on 39w5d, but I'm not exactly sure when he died. All the tests afterward indicated he died a few days (2? 3?) before I went into labor. The cause was asymptomatic preeclampsia/ uteroplacental insufficiency-- as in, preeclampsia is thought to be caused by abnormal placental development which, in this case, caused the placenta to not function/ grow well and, eventually, Soren's needs outstripped what the placenta could provide and he passed away. Most women will experience outward symptoms of preeclampsia that tell them something is wrong long before the baby is impacted, in my case in hindsight the first clear symptom I had was Soren's death. During his birth, I went on to have a seizure (eclampsia) and when they did a 24-hour urine collection afterward, I was spilling enough protein to qualify as preeclamptic. Prior to finding out he had died, the pregnancy had been without complication.<br><br>
I know what you mean about being concerned about movement, then reading or being told by others that babies slow down at the end. People gave me (and I read) the same reassurances at the time. I have a really hard time not panicking when people post threads here saying they are concerned about their babies' movements in late pregnancy because the overwhelming response seems to be to tell other women it is normal. And, most times, it is, but we have been on the losing side of the statistics and, although it can be normal, it can also be a sign that something is wrong.<br><br>
I am now 37w1d with my "rainbow" baby and PAL is so hard for so many reasons (not that I need to tell you that). Having had a late term loss, until he's here and alive and breathing, I won't ever feel "safe" in this pregnancy. And, actually, just having reached term yesterday (and knowing that if I really wanted to, I could be induced at any time), it is now a little harder for me not to panic when he has his normal periods of rest during the day. What's helped me is individual counseling and couple's grief counseling (my DH and I have been seeing a counselor every other week). For individual counseling, I was referred to a counselor who, among other things, specialized in pregnancy and birth loss and who, herself, had a loss at ~24-26wks. It was really important to me to find someone who really understood what going through babyloss is like. Also, even though I haven't posted here a whole lot through this pregnancy, I have been reading along and jumping in every now and then. Just know there are others out there who "get it" helps. Seeing other mamas who managed to make it through a pregnancy after a full-term loss with their sanity relatively intact has helped. And, even though our experiences are different, I find that much of the concerns and feelings I have about this pregnancy are very similar to those who've had earlier losses and so hearing from the mamas who've had miscarriages helps, too.<br><br>
Anyway, you are not alone Idigchaitea. We are here <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">.
 

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I, also had a term loss. Micah Zachary was 10 pounds 10 ounces, 39+6. probably died a day or two before. currently 36+4 weeks pg. PAL is *very* emotional. all pregnancies are emotional due to hormones but PAL is worse. please keep coming here and/or getting some counseling.
 

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Yup, me...I lost my baby 4 days after her birth due to a 2x nuchal cord. My next pregnancy's baby is turning 5 in August. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
You're not alone!
 

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<b>idigchaitea</b> - I'm so sorry for your loss of Jonas, Mama. I know how hard PAL can be after a late/full-term loss. The innocence of believing that pregnancy = baby is gone. You are far from alone.<br><br>
I lost my son J.T., my fourth child, because of an umbilical cord accident. It was wrapped too tightly around his legs. I also had an uncomplicated pregnancy. I also noticed changes in movement - but he was still moving, and I also figured it was "normal" end-of-pregnancy stuff. Grief therapy helped me - and also just time.<br><br>
I knew I wanted to try again soon after, and my rainbow boy was born just shy of eleven months after his big brother.<br><br>
Thinking of you and your rainbow.
 

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<p><span style="color:#0000cd;">It's nice to see my husband and I are not alone.</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#0000cd;">We had the most uneventful, rather boring pregnancy -- no morning sickness, no weird cravings.  I developed gestational diabetes but it was incredibly controlled ... I changed my diet and started walking a lot ... I worked my way up to an hour a day.</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#0000cd;">My water broke early on Tuesday morning (November 16, 2010) ... I was at 39 weeks.  We went to the hospital (but not before swinging by Wendy's for a lunch ... yum!  I know now for the future not to eat a burger before going to the hospital!)  They admitted me immediately at 2:30pm since my water had broken and I was leaking throughout!  I was bed bound which means everything we learned in our prenatal class about controlling labour pains went out the window!  I didn't even realize that I wouldn't be able to go pee on my own ... who knew?!  Can you tell this is our first pregnancy?!  They started me on fluids which was my yummy diet for the next while and oxytocin to start the contractions.  They strapped on a fetal heart monitor (Alexander's heartbeat was incredibly strong!  They also strapped a monitor for my heartbeat.)  I was finally fully dilated and effaced at about 4:00am on the 17th of November 2010.  I delivered our beautiful boy, Alexander Joseph William at 4:47am (yup ... only 47 minutes of actual pushing!)  Unfortunately, once the cord was cut, our precious baby didn't even attempt to breathe on his own.  The OB let me feel my baby on my chest for a split second ... my husband was at least able to witness the miracle of birth.  They rushed him out of my room and all we heard was "Code Pink" ... a colour I now dislike greatly.  My husband whispered to me, "He's beautiful".  And he really was.  The wonderful NICU team worked on our baby for well over an hour (legally, they only have to work on the baby for 10 minutes).  There was even a small glimmer of hope at one point ... there was talk of transferring our son to the Hospital for Sick Children.  But at about 5:50am, the head pediatrician along with my OB and this wonderful nurse, sat down in our room and gave us the grim news.  Our little angel didn't survive the ordeal :(.</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#0000cd;">He was wheeled into our room afterwards ... he looked like he was just sleeping ... .  So precious, so innocent, so pure.  We were able to spend a good 9 hours with him before Sick Kids came to get him ... we agreed to an autopsy in hopes of learning something from his sad death.  It's going to take about 4 months according to the Coroner who called me today (apparently, the Pathologist working on our son was the Chief of Pathology in Ontario before specializing in children and taking up post at the Hospital for Sick Children ... so he's good, just slow in getting reports out).</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#0000cd;">It's been 7 days since we lost our son ... it's been really emotionally draining.  We're laying our son to rest on Saturday ... he'll be in the same cemetery as my dad (so dad watch out ... looks like Alex is going to be handful!)</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="color:#0000cd;">My husband and I know we definitely want to try for another child ... sooner rather than later, but now I'm a bit scared.  What if there was something wrong with my placenta?  What if there's something wrong with me?  These are questions that go through my mind all the time now.  But at the same time, I was able to carry our son to term ... I wish things were different * sigh * ...</span></p>
 

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<p>Alex's Mom - I'm so sorry for your loss of Alexander. I opened the thread because I wonder why it had been moved up. Now I see that you lost Alex and need support. I lost my baby at 40 weeks, it was the worst experience I will ever go through, I hope. You and your husband will have a strong marriage after this but the grief may take awhile to lessen. I'm 3 years out now and still feel the loss but it definitely nothing compared to those first weeks and months. Grieve how you need to and as long as you need to. We decided to try for another rather quickly. I was 37. 3.5 months after Norah's death, I got pregnant. There was no reason given for Norah's death so I was very nervous that I was broken. 9 months later, I had my rainbow baby (and then I had another). There is probably no reason to suspect that something was wrong with you. Make sure you get the blood tests to determine if something is wrong. It turned out that I have a marginal blood clotting disorder that may or may not have caused her death. I took medicine for the next pregnancies, just to be sure. I hope that you are able to get up each day. This is a very difficult time, but with the passage of time, the pain will lessen. (((HUGS)))</p>
 

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<p>i am so so sorry for your loss.  you are so "in it" right now.  i remember those days of raw grief.  in a few days we will be passing our son's fifth angel day.  i still can't believe this has happened to us.  we lost our son at 41 weeks, normal pregnancy, great birth.  cause of death unknown.  before we decided to get pg again i tested for blood abnormalities (clotting disorders, etc.) and nothing of any significance came up.  but it felt better to rule out some possibilities.  i did discover i have hypothyroidism and got that straightened out before we got pg again with our first rainbow daughter, now 3.5.  and i just gave birth to our third baby, second rainbow daughter, 4 months.  it's a tough road, but sadly you are so not alone.  get the support you need, it's invaluable.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>hey namaste mom, do i know you from share?  it's clovis' mom.</p>
 

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<p>downvalleygirl - I visited and posted on share for approximately 1.5 years after I lost Norah in Nov. 2007. That site really helped me not feel alone and to read about other people's experiences. I probably met you on there. Good to "see" you again. Congrats on another rainbow birth!</p>
 

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<p>To everyone, but especially namaste_mom & downvalleygirl,</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thank you so much for your kind and supportive words ... they truly are comforting.  If our Alex were alive right now, he'd be 25 days old :).  Not a day goes by where I don't think of my baby.  He was absolutely adorable and perfect (except for the not breahing part).  I am learning to get on with my life, but I look at his pictures that we took at the hospital every single day.  I'm also starting to just remember the 9 months we did get to bond together and I'm relishing those moments.  I've also found comfort in the nursery we set up ... after Alex's death, I couldn't get myself to open the door and sit in the glider ... well, I couldn't get myself to open the door!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>We have our post-partum check up this coming Tuesday.  My husband and I do want to try again as soon as possible as neither of us is getting any younger ... our timing seems to really suck (we waited a long time before tying the not due to finances, and because of that, the delay in starting our family).  But we haven't given up hope.  At least I connected with another mother who has been a god-send.  Today, we received a call from the head of the pediatric team that worked on our baby when he was born.  That phone call was comforting ... knowing they're still thinking of our Alex and still trying to figure out what went wrong.  He was so nice that I was able to ask him questions not even related to Alex (like if it would be possible to have a Share Care program with them and another hospital if need be, etc).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I will definitely keep you all posted with what's happening ...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Rest in peace my precious baby, Alexander Joseph William :(</p>
 

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<p>Alex's Mom - my thoughts are with you. I am so sorry for your loss of your sweet boy.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I also lost a son. He died several hours before birth from a cord accident.</p>
<p>Rainbows do happen. I am expecting my second next year.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This forum is a wonderfully comforting place to find support and hope </p>
<p>amongst Mamas who truly understand the depth of the grief and</p>
<p>the tough journey.</p>
<p>"Share," as a previous poster mentioned, is another great supportive site.</p>
<p>Peace to you.</p>
 

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<p>let us know how you're doing, alex's mom.    are you on facebook?  i'm not much, but if you ever want to chat let me know.  also, the national share website is great, like bluewatergirl said.  it's where i went all the time when my baby died.  i think it's nationalshare.org or nationalshare.com  there are chats there, too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>blessings!</p>
 

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<p>Last night just before bed, sadness struck me :(.  Each day is different, but I'm glad to report that there are more almost happy days over grieving and sadness ones.  I will keep you posted my online family & friends.</p>
 

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<p>This is a difficult time Alex's Mom. I skipped my PP check up because I couldn't handle the "stare". There were many sad days for me at 2 months. Its like the shock wore off and the calls/emails stopped. I felt very alone but I relied on the ladies here and other places to help me through. (((HUGS)))</p>
 

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Yes I agree . It is a difficult and sad road to work, even though there is light, and even as we recognize the gift of our angel babies.<br>
Today I had a bit of a melt down crying fit, feeling so sad that Charlie was not here, not sure if I could handle giving birth this Thursday, and feeling terribly afraid of another loss. ( being induced at 36 weeks - we fell pregnant after losing Charlie very quickly ie within 7 weeks by complete surprise).<br>
My heart goes out to you at this difficult time.<br>
My dr said to me yesterday that he thought i was coping well. I thought that was nice of him to recognize that it is such a sad and bewildering thing to deal with but that he could see I was doing my best! That is how It seems you are doing, your best in such a sad time.
 

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<p>it's true, there is such flip flop in the early months of grief.  i have found for me and for several other baby loss mommas i know that the 4 - 6 month period was very very hard.  the shock wears off, most people don't call or come by anymore and there are still a few people out there that don't yet know of your loss so you get to run into them and go through all the explaining again - ugh.  but, i will say after five years it has gotten some easier, although the deep sorrow will always be there.  we never move on, we just move through - for grief has no end.  that's good in a way because we will continue to learn and grow from our angel babies for the rest of our earthly lives.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>peace, mommas!</p>
 
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