[Marlet]

So this pregnancy was a surprise. I've been pretty adament that we/I were done. My mom bought my IUD (which fell out so we took over paying it off) because I was so done. My dad is just.....well as he says most of his kids are due to not liking condoms but liking sex.

We bought a minivan a couple months ago and he thinks its funny to ask when I'm adding more mini people to my mini van. It's all joking and I can dish it out just as well (I sure do love that about my family

) but it's just irritating.

Needless to say, I'm not wanting to tell them yet. My sister knows and DH's family knows (which is a lot of people) but that's it. Think I can wait til the birth? Probably not.

Anyone else not telling any Negative Nancy's yet? What are you planning on saying when you do? I don't imagine it'll be as bad/irritating as I'm imagining but I know I'm going to get some flack. I just don't care to get any flack at all.

 

[flapjack]

We're keeping it quietish... the whole darn internet knows, including people on my FB, and twice in the last few days people have told me it's time for another- so I just looked. And laughed when their jaws hit the ground.

 

[kcparker]

I'm not telling yet, and probably not for another 2 months or so, but it's because I don't want to tell and then have a miscarriage and have to tell people THAT. So, I am my own most Negative Nancy.

 

[onyxravnos]

my rasons for not telling are the same as kcparkers. we will spill the beans at that nice safe 3 month mark.

 

[babymonster]

Same here. I will probably tell my Mum, bet everyone else will have to wait until after we see the bean on the u/s around 12 weeks

 

[carmel23]

*sigh*
I don't know. I'm afraid of the NN's in my family... they're just way more nosy and gossipy then DH's family...
Like my mom called me today and asked if she could buy me this sundress she saw in the store... I don't really wear dresses, I'm a pants/jeans kind of gal.

And I didn't really want it, but she kept going on and on about it.

So I just had to call her back and bluntly state-do not buy me the dress (I was so tempted to say that b/c buy the time it warms up enough to wear it I'll be too big to fit it! but chickened out at the last minute).

I said instead wait until you visit in a month and we'll go shopping together since there is no sales tax here in Oregon.

that worked, but man...

She loves clothes and I just don't. She really wants to buy stuff for her but my dad would flip (she has closets full of stuff), I swear she needs a 12 step group. Not kidding. But since she can't get it for herself, she is getting it for "me." But we have such different taste, as a 30ish woman would from a 60ish woman...

Sorry for rambling... this is my cheap psycho-therapy

But I guess we'll break the news to my folks when they visit in May. DH is in charge of his family... he can do that and hear all the blah blah blah... but they're usually not bad.

 

[VegMomma]

I'm pretty lucky that the only person I'm really scared to tell is my grandma. She is the grumpiest, coldest woman alive. Seriously. She came to visit me for about 10 minutes after DS2 was born, and wanted to make sure that we were done, because kids are "too expensive. All that formula...". Um...

We had a big dinner at my dad's house for Easter, and everyone there knew but her. I was terrified someone was going to slip-up and say something, but, luckily, everyone feels the same way about her. My dad (it's his mom) said, "yeah.. I'll call her sometime in the summer or something". Thanks, dad! I certainly don't want to be around when she hears the news.

The only other person I was a little scared to tell was my MIL. She's very opinionated, and thinks that her way is the only way. Since she only had two kids, I was expecting a lecture, but she was really excited, so that was good. Her reaction to our homebirth plans, however, were much much less enthusiastic...

 

[Mamapits]

So happy to be here!

Besides you all, my family Dr and my naturopath, we are not telling anyone. I have been ttc for several years and I want to make sure this is really happening.

I think early to mid June is a good time to start telling people.
As for the negative nelly's. I will hold off as long as I can

 

[InstinctiveMom]

I tried to keep it secret; I really did. But the news justkept jumping out of my mouth, lol.
I think it's awesome that you're revelling in the mystery

 

[Awaken]

I never have been one to tell early. This was a huge surprise pg as well. Even when we were thrilled to be pregnant and it was very planned we still waited at least 3 months. Sometimes it's nice to have a little secret between yourselves

I guess it helps that I don't show much so it's easy to hide, I know others don't have that option!

This time I really don't feel like spreading the news. Maybe be 3 months I'll be more "there" but definitely no time soon. I'm really not sure how people will react, I live in such a 2-kids-max area that it's pretty oddball to have 3. So far I've just told my sister and internet friends.

 

[Sleepyheaded_Mama]

I can't bring myself to tell yet because I am still psyching myself out, like today, almost no breast tenderness whatsoever. So yeah, I just would rather not have to go back and tell a dozen people bad news if that is the case.

Further more, due to the surprise nature of this pregnancy, and the financial circumstances surrounding it, I cannot imagine I am going to find a lot of support out there. I did tell my sister and my two best friends, of the three my sister was the most supportive and actually ecstatic, which shocked me. I also told a nurse that I work with because she thought she was pregnant too for awhile, and her situation would have mirrored mine closely. But yeah, it feels jinx-y speaking about it, so mostly I don't.

 

[Channelle]

Everyone for the most part on my side of the family knows, except for my father, but we're not that close emotionally or physically, I just don't want to tell him over the phone. I'll go visit him in July and tell him then.

But...NO ONE from my partner's side of the family knows. We're waiting a few months to tell them. They all think it's a HORRIBLE idea to have a child, and would really yell and lecture us. I want to wait until at least after 12 weeks, but don't think I'll make it that far. At least until 8-10 weeks. I don't need that negativity, especially since we're SOOO excited, and my family is so excited!

 

[Shield]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcparker I'm not telling yet, and probably not for another 2 months or so, but it's because I don't want to tell and then have a miscarriage and have to tell people THAT. So, I am my own most Negative Nancy.

Me too! Plus I'm not too anxious to tell my boss at work.

Also I don't want my kids to know just yet that they are going to have a younger sibling. Once I am confident that it is "safe" to tell them, and maybe even after I have an ultrasound picture to show them and have thought through how to answer the inevitable questions of how/why/etc., then we'll tell others!

 

[ORLY?]

Last time we waited until week 9 to tell everyone... well, almost everyone... I didn't tell my co-op teacher until week 25!

i'll wait awhile to tell this time too.

 

[sarahmae1]

We haven't told anyone yet either. This was a bit of a surprise to us too, and while we weren't sure we were done, we hadn't yet decided to go ahead and have another yet either. I think that we'll get mixed reactions - some people will be happy for us, others might not - but I just KNOW I'll get tons of comments about hoping that its a girl.

I think we might start telling people soon. I had my first appt. yesterday and got to hear the hb and see the baby on a u/s. My mom is comming to visit in a couple of weeks - right after Mother's Day - so I'll probably tell her then.

 

[gypsyhips26]

hello mamas (and mamas-to-be)

I've been lurking for about a week now...(since I suspected that I might be preggers and a surprise pregnancy at that!) And after I took a HPT and got a BFP on Thursday, I guess this is where I belong. And so we are also not telling anyone, since I had a mc in december. i just don't want to deal with telling everyone, then if something goes wrong, untelling everyone *sigh*

so I am in that weird, i'm pregnant, but really, really can't talk to anyone about it stage....I am even putting off calling my midwife until after 7 weeks to schedule an appt, I just don't want to jinx everything again.... jeez I sound so negative...ok gotta think postive right?

good luck to everyone and hopefully I'll be sticking around until december!

 

[SunShineSally]

STBDH's family all knows my sister and a few close friends know. My mom,dad,grandmother,aunts,uncles none of them know. I want to wait until I am sure it sticks. Also the main reason is this pregnancy was total suprise I honestly never thought of myself with 2 children was totally and utterly happy with just ds! so I want to be more content with the idea and sure with my self and happier (I am getting to the happier part even thinking of names

) before I hear all the negitive comments and horrified looks and bla bla bla how are you two going to beable to afford another child (ds is not STBDH's and X pays nothing and is not involved) we are not yet married and we also do not want my family thinking that we are gettting married because of the new baby. there are so many other reason's that we hav enot told my family yet. Another is we are still living with my mother (we were renting from her but she moved back here after her and her BF split up but is here and there now

) we are going to see if she will still let us stay with the new baby there is plenty of room and we would pay her waaayyyy more in rent than we do now at least double it because we would pay at least that somewhere else and we love this house soo we will see!!! I think she will go for it it will help her out so so so so much and she loved having Ds here as a baby and she is here so little this big beautiful house would go unused! It is also a way we can save for a house of our own so finger crossed!(and yes I am a mama's girl

)

 

[whoabethy]

we have told 2/3 of our immediate family. my DP's large, catholic family is elated. my mom and brother were also elated. but, i am scared sh*tless to tell my father, stepmom, and their kids.

there was a BAD (

reaction to me coming out and an underwhelming response to our commitment ceremony and subsequent gay marriage. i have pretty low expectations about what their (specifically my father's) reaction will be. i don't know how their homophobic reactions could NOT affect my willingness to let them be a part of the baby's life.

will it be:
*write a letter soon-ish, suck it up, and deal?
*wait four more months and send out a "We're Expecting" announcement
*text message (j/k)

i guess i'll have to figure it out soon...

 

[SunShineSally]

Quote:

Originally Posted by whoabethy we have told 2/3 of our immediate family. my DP's large, catholic family is elated. my mom and brother were also elated. but, i am scared sh*tless to tell my father, stepmom, and their kids. there was a BAD ( reaction to me coming out and an underwhelming response to our commitment ceremony and subsequent gay marriage. i have pretty low expectations about what their (specifically my father's) reaction will be. i don't know how their homophobic reactions could NOT affect my willingness to let them be a part of the baby's life. will it be: *write a letter soon-ish, suck it up, and deal? *wait four more months and send out a "We're Expecting" announcement *text message (j/k) i guess i'll have to figure it out soon...

I am proud that you went through with having a baby even though you knew it would have a bad reaction with your family

My aunt and her partner never had children because of that my grandmother was and is less than supportive she still calls her partner her "friend" she will say your aunt and her friend may be comeing for a visit soon I go ohh what friend david

Why not just say nothing and let it become just obvious I would just because this is supposed to be a happy wonderful time I thought of doing that myself!

 

[Marlet]

Quote:

Originally Posted by whoabethy we have told 2/3 of our immediate family. my DP's large, catholic family is elated. my mom and brother were also elated. but, i am scared sh*tless to tell my father, stepmom, and their kids. there was a BAD ( reaction to me coming out and an underwhelming response to our commitment ceremony and subsequent gay marriage. i have pretty low expectations about what their (specifically my father's) reaction will be. i don't know how their homophobic reactions could NOT affect my willingness to let them be a part of the baby's life. will it be: *write a letter soon-ish, suck it up, and deal? *wait four more months and send out a "We're Expecting" announcement *text message (j/k) i guess i'll have to figure it out soon...

FWIW I totally think a text is fine. I was going to do it with my dad but ended up not. There's nothing wrong, IMO, with texting someone news if they are not going to behave in a mature adult manner.