[jodieanneanton]

How many of you all are pregnant and nursing? How old is your nursling? How are things going? Do you plan on tandem nursing?

I am nursing my 18 month old. In the beginning, it sucked pretty bad. A few weeks ago, the pain and aversion I was feeling pretty much went away. However, it is starting to hurt again really bad and I am feeling discouraged. I have been through this before... I nursed throughout my second pregnancy and then tandem nursed my first and second children. I just don't remember it being so bad this early. I don't know what I am looking for... Maybe a little commiseration. The nipple and breast pain is back with a vengeance. I waver between going on because I know it is best thing and wanting to completely throw in the towel. And I feel guilty for wishing he would just stop nursing on his own. Feeling kinda alone in the whole struggle. Anyone else?

 

[Rikki Jean]

I'm tandem nursing my 4 and 2 year olds. It hasn't been to bad, thankfully. My only real aversion is to DD's habit of being silly and talking to my breast and kissing it before she nurses. She thinks it's funny, but it's like nails on a chalkboard to me. I don't know why it weirds me out so much!

This is my fourth pg I've nursed through, third I've tandemed through. We will triandem for the third time, provided DD doesn't wean first, which I very much doubt she will. Somehow, I've never dealt with pain, just some sensitivity. I generally have some aversion related to my older nursling, so I guess it shouldn't surprise me this time.

With my last one, I suddenly realized that DS2 and DD had VERY different latches, and I desperately wanted him to wean. When he nursed, I experienced that urge to just throw him across the room and away from me that I had read about, but I had certainly never experienced. I encouraged him to wean, which I never expected to do, as I'm pretty hardcore CLW. He ended up weaning around 4.5, shortly after DS3 was born, but I did set major limits during pg.

I know that guilty feeling. I had major mama guilt, especially because DS1 self-weaned at 5.5. I felt like I was treating DS2 unfairly, but the feelings of resentment building up related to him nursing were even worse, and I knew it was the best thing for us. Of course, he was three years older than your DS, so I don't know how helpful that really is!


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[DuchessTergie]

I'm nursing my 18 month old, but I find nursing so irritating now. I never used to. My supply is dwindling, and she's losing interest. Im glad for this combination because it will still keep the weaning ball in her court. I can't tandem nurse--my body's calorie demands are through the roof and I know I couldn't keep up. Jodie, do you like to nurse for a minimum amount of time? I aim for 24 months, but I'm ok if she ends a bit early. I hope a solution comes your way!

 

[jodieanneanton]

@DuchessTergie, My absolute minimum is 2 years, but I generally do CLW with occasional limits when things get hard (pregnancy, for example). It is usually when I start don't "don't offer, don't refuse." My first self weaned at 3.5 years (there were a few gentle "one day you won't nurse anymore" comments around her 3rd bday that she ignored, but I guess I did plant the seed) and DD2 stopped right at 2 years when I started the "don't offer, don't refuse" routine. (I was pregnant with a baby I lost and my milk had dried up and she could care less about nursing.) My second DD and first DD are sooo different! And DS doesn't seem like he is as lackadaisical about nursing as DD2 was.

The bummer thing is... He was the first baby I LOVED nursing! I generally wasn't a big fan of nursing with my DDs, but by the time #3 came around, boy did I love it. And finally understood women who said they loved it. It was a big part of how God healed my heart after my miscarriages. But now, I am not feeling it. I will continue, of course, with the same "I do this because it is the best thing" that I did with my others, but I was hoping that it would be better.

Almost all of my parenting decisions are made in a gut-level, instinctual, what were we created to do way. I am just frustrated because this is SO. TOTALLY. going against my instincts right now. During the first trimester, I got the nipple pain and wanting to throw my kid across the room feelings. That subsided, but the pain is back. Human instinct is to AVOID pain! Am I still following my instincts? I don't feel that I am... It feels more of an intellectual decision. Not that that is bad... just not my usual style. :/

Praying through the pain is helping. I am praying for patience and strength, too.

 

[writermama12]

I am nursing my 17 mo DS and I am now 19.5 weeks along with my 4th pregnancy. I was FINE nursing for the first three months becasue my supply was good. But I've recently totally dried up and now I cannot stand it, not even for a few minutes. It jsut disgusts me, mainly the way he nurses is different when there is no milk, the sensation is much stronger becasue his latch is now shallow. Yuck. I am into week 6 of night weaning, whihc I had to do becasue he began to refuse to sleep unless he was suckling. I wanted to pull my hair out.


I still nurse him like 3-4 times a day for a bit, but I do not offer any more. I feel strongly that if I have negative feelings about nursing, it is no longer what is right to do. I do not want to have any resentment or rage feelings about him when it isn't his fault. It is simply hormonal. I'd rather wean peacefully and with love than grit my teeth while letting him do something that feels WRONG to me and makes me feel abused. I know that sounds dramatic, but it's true. It is like torture sometimes.


However, I do want to tandam as I know it will all feel better once my milk is back in so...I am committed to latching him at least a few minutes per day so he doesn't forget how. My second DS forgot last time I was pregnant and I desperately wished I could have nursed him once my new baby had arrived but he really did have no clue how to do it. It was FAST. I don't want that to happen this time.

 

[DuchessTergie]

Jodie, I'm glad you found healing through BF your son. Is he still really interested in nursing? Is it even possible to nurse only once or twice per day, then start back up more often when the pain subsides?

It is rough when our instincts are in opposition to our convictions. I wanted to nurse longer than I am able, but I am using this earlier-than-I-planned weaning period to expand both of our repertoires of giving/receiving comfort, intimacy, etc. that being said, I do not have the same type of emotional element that you are facing (or physical pain, even) so it is much more cut and dried for me.

I do hope you find a way that doesn't cause you any grief.

 

[chiromommy]

My 4 year old has for all intents and purposes weaned in the last couple weeks. She still asks and will act like she is going to latch then laugh and say there's no milk and she wants snuggles. I didn't think she would ever wean. She has a lip tie and nursing her has been uncomfortable for most of our time. I tandemed my first two for a year and remember it sucking in pregnancy but my oldest was only 3 and had no intentions on weaning then. We set lots of limits when it is uncomfortable. I have the same sensations after ovulation too though so the limits and irritation weren't specific to pregnancy.

 

[jodieanneanton]

Thank you, everyone!!! I really appreciate the feedback and support. Love you, guys!

 

[Chapsie]

Hey Jodie! (I am totally DDC crashing from December 2014 because Jodie was in my last DDC and I just love her so much!)

My milk pretty much completely dried up at about 16-17 weeks. (I am now 25 weeks). My DD (17 months tomorrow!) still latches once or twice a day but only for about 30 seconds at a time and then she comes off and asks pitifully for a "cup." SO sad and cute at the same time.

I am really super duper trying to keep dry nursing so she doesn't forget how to latch and then hope to tandem nurse. I have no nipple/breast pain at this time! (Praise God!).

Thanks for letting me chime in.