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for your own good

i borrowed it from the library last week. its a bit dated (written/translated in 1990) and i dont completely subscribe to freudian psychology, but it was still fancinating.

i didnt get through all of it but i definately saw the same parallels and "poisonous pedagogy" in ezzo and dobson books. im thinking of adding it to my list of "must read" baby books, especially to those people who might want to "give babywise a look."

i know dobson is a fan of corporal punishment and for that reason "babywise" may seem the route to go because some parents may see it as less "mean" but the same focus of "willfulness" and inherent evil and "badness" of children is no different than those books from the 1700s that say who should beat your child for reaching for some food or playing phychological games by depriving them of parental affection or approval for the smallest slight.
 

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I wasn't familiar with this book. I was astounded at the message in the reviews. I agree the book sounds like a must for those who do things to their children 'for their own good'. Thanks for the Amazon link. Here is a quote that I felt was profound.

Quote:
The explicit, stated reason of these methods was to break the will of the child, beginning with infancy. Yes, infancy. And how was that done? By depriving children of their voice, their joy, their anger, sadness, the ability to listen to their body's cues such as hunger. She really drives home the way that the cycle of violence in families is perpetrated, and why it is so very important to break the chain. I will never again hesitate to empathise with a child who is being 'swatted' or otherwise humiliated by a parent. Children need to know that their emotions are valid, and we have an obligation to allow them to express these emotions. If you have any doubt that children are being deprived of their voice, read "On Becoming Babywise" by Ezzo and Bucknam. They begin at infancy by scheduling feeds for children and telling the parents to decide when playtime is. They do not respond to the cries of their children. They are also responsible for an overtly Christian (sort of) parenting method entitled "Preparation for Parenting". No disputes with the mentors are allowed in these programs, which is exactly what the parents are to be passing on to their children. As far as beating children, 20% of Coloradans recently surveyed said that is is fine for parents to beat their children with a wooden spoon. Focus on the Family actively advocates such beatings as a method of "discipline". Sadly, violence against children is still occurring around us.
The highlights were added, in light of our recent threads regarding allowing children their voice, their sadness, their anger, their cries. This whole paradigm of 'parent knows best' for another being is rooted in the belief of children being inherently wrongful in their choice of meeting their needs. On the contrary, I believe children are best able to know their own needs and through listening to their perspectives, abet totally different than our own, we honor their inherent rightness about themselves. And their self-esteem does not suffer our judgement trying to 'make' them different than they are.

Pat
 
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