Mothering Forum banner
1 - 20 of 35 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,418 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I just posted in another thread that my home visit is next week!! I am freaked out now. My heart rate just went up and I'm breathing heavy! I'm not ready for this baby. I'm starting to get nervous about the pain of labor too. I've done this before, but now I know what to expect to its scarier than it was the first time around.

Holy cow! I just can't believe it's almost baby time. It just doesn't seem real. I STILL don't feel pregnant most of the time, even though my belly is huge and this baby moves all the time. This pregnancy has been more like a dream.

I think I'll go clean something (aka. crazy-psycho nest) and see if that alleviates my freak out.

 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,544 Posts
Actaully I was just going to post a thread to see if anyone else is unusually calm.
Although being so calm is freaking me out abit, in a weird sort of way. I am usually such a worrier, but I am amazingly calm about it all this time. DH is starting to freak out, but the only thing I am really stressing about it getting my house clean for the birth since I have no energy & would much rather spend all day here on MDC


We will see how long this calmness lasts. I'll be having my home visit in 3 weeks, maybe it will hit me then. Until it does, I'm just going to take advantage of this positive, calm energy & keep visualizing a wonderful birth.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
32 Posts
Im in the "unusually calm" group... i think..lol..

Got my house somewhat organized, got the bills together in a little folder with what gets paid when for DH, all baby clothes are washed and ready, DD has plenty of "easy" things for daddy to fix for her to eat.. other than that I really could care less what my house looks like at this point, although I do relax better in a " kinda" clean house....

Does that mean I should get off my butt and do it?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,406 Posts
Yup, in the non freaked out mode also. Perhaps this is helped by the fact that I have not gone through labor before, so I'm really not afraid of it
Ehh, babe just has to go a few inches, sure, it's a small hole, but I"m sure it will work just fine.

I'm pretty much just excited. I AM getting more frusturated with where we live, though, I can't use 1/2 the cupboards in the kitchen because mice get in, our toilet is about to fall though the floor in the bathroom, and we HAVE flooring to replace what's in both the bathroom and kitchen, have had it for over a year now, and it's still not in... Neither is my dishwasher, it's in the hall in its box. One corner of the ceiling is falling down in the bedroom, and that's gross, I'm going to tape visquine over it or something. And I need to clean the carpets, but DH does not think that's a priority right now so it hasn't been done. And we have no couch, I need to scout out the thrift stores soon because I want a place to nurse besides the bed or floor. There's my rant.
We are in a frusturating spot because we live in a really dumpy trailer, but are trying to save for closing costs so we can build next summer, so we can't really fix it up at all because every little project somehow totals at least $200! And DH is cutting firewood for the winter, hopefully enough for next winter too, because hopefully he's building next winter and spending all his time on that.

SOOOOO, baby coming isn't freaking me out, our living arrangements are.
:
I feel better now...

Cara
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
32 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by myhoneyswife
Yup, in the non freaked out mode also. Perhaps this is helped by the fact that I have not gone through labor before, so I'm really not afraid of it
Ehh, babe just has to go a few inches, sure, it's a small hole, but I"m sure it will work just fine.

I'm pretty much just excited. I AM getting more frusturated with where we live, though, I can't use 1/2 the cupboards in the kitchen because mice get in, our toilet is about to fall though the floor in the bathroom, and we HAVE flooring to replace what's in both the bathroom and kitchen, have had it for over a year now, and it's still not in... Neither is my dishwasher, it's in the hall in its box. One corner of the ceiling is falling down in the bedroom, and that's gross, I'm going to tape visquine over it or something. And I need to clean the carpets, but DH does not think that's a priority right now so it hasn't been done. And we have no couch, I need to scout out the thrift stores soon because I want a place to nurse besides the bed or floor. There's my rant.
We are in a frusturating spot because we live in a really dumpy trailer, but are trying to save for closing costs so we can build next summer, so we can't really fix it up at all because every little project somehow totals at least $200! And DH is cutting firewood for the winter, hopefully enough for next winter too, because hopefully he's building next winter and spending all his time on that.

SOOOOO, baby coming isn't freaking me out, our living arrangements are.
:
I feel better now...

Cara
WOW mama HUGS... But just wanted to say that ALL of my 98% of my furniture is second hand but noone knows but us. Hope it goes well on the build.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,332 Posts
Try not to worry too much about labor (easier said than done right?
).

This might be a little more extreme than normal, but my DD's birth was a very rough 20 hours from when my contrax started getting 'regular', it took me over a year to get over.
DS's birth was 3.5 hours from the first contraction that woke me up, and was AWESOME!
I remember saying incredulously to my DH "I can't believe I just gave birth! I mean, I feel a little sore walking, but I feel great!"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,916 Posts
Oh wow, Cara. We lived in a dumpy place when ds was born, basically one room in somebody else's house. I could go on and on, but you've done it for me!


But the prospect of having a house built on land in the country!!! That has to be a bit of a bright spot for you!

I'm alternating between excited and freaked out and calm. Mostly it's about money/work as dh has been the stay-at-home parent since ds was 10 mos old and now I want to stay home with this new baby for awhile. But we just don't see dh making the money that I am making, or maybe not even getting health benefits.

But my job is ending anyhow, no new projects to keep me paid, so does it matter that dh would make less if I lose my job altogether?

I really don't want to leave a 3 mo old at home to schlep to work and pump and be away all day!!

But we have a mortgage and bills to pay and need health insurance!

Ack!! Okay, freak out mode again!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
438 Posts
Yup, I totally had my freak out event about 2 weeks ago.
I didn't turn in an assignment for nursing school and lost major points in my class.
It was a big wake up call for me.

Since then, we have done some major remodelling of our schedule.Things are easier now. I can't keep up with 2 kids, a part time job, a summer course and the rest of life.... let alone nurse a newborn and still manage to pass my classes. I HAVE to finish school. I have 2 part time semesters left. Leaving the program and restarting is not an option... there is a wait list a mile long.

So, we did some downsizing of my husband's business and some serious budget cuts. He will be home more to help and he does a fantastic job with the kids and the house.
I feel more that I can handle the craziness of the next year, especially if it means, I am DONE with school.
So, I freaked out and then recovered and now... I am really excited about having a baby in 8 weeks or sooner. Now, I am really nesting. We have moved around bedrooms, painted, I layed in a month's supply of grovery items. Next, I need to get the baby clothes out of storage and set up.
I am sure freaking out was hormonal, some of it is exhaustion and all of it was for real!
Otherwise, not to freaked about labor, what will be will be. I had short labors with the other two, so I am hoping for the same.

V
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,073 Posts
I alternate between freaking out that a baby will be in this house soon and freaking out because this pregnancy is almost over and I'm really going to miss it! I LOVE being pregnant.

It's still a jolt everyday when I realize this baby is going to be ours. The last two times I've been pregnant there were no babies to bring home because they weren't mine. For some reason my head won't permanently wrap around the idea that this baby is MINE! I had a big freak out last week and washed all the babies clothes and got all the diapers organized and got rid of a bunch of junk in our room to make room for the baby. That made it seem more real that there will actually be a baby in this house in a few weeks.

I also freak out from time to time about the fact that we're going to have two, that's right TWO kids now! It's been a long time since I've had a baby (dd is 5) and I'm really excited, but it's still freaky
:


I haven't freaked out about the labor yet. I seem to think that it's going to be a piece of cake. Maybe, maybe not. Who knows? All I know is (for me) there's no use worrying about something that I have no idea how or when it's going to happen. It'll happen, it'll hurt, then a baby will be here. As long as I have this baby at home I don't think I'll have any complaints!

Oh....I am freaking out *just a little* about the fact that I don't really have a midwife right now. I know I'll find one and everything will be ok, I just wish I didn't have to stress about it now. If I don't have one by next week I'm really going to FREAK out though!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
821 Posts
I alternate between freaking out about not having stuff done and being totally calm and cool about things. During one of my freak out modes the other day I decided to gather all our 0-6 month everyday type clothes and sort them. The problem was I don't have any!! I figure that that box got taken to the thrift store when we moved by accident because I seem to have an extra blankets and towels box that I'd planned on giving away. I do have a girl box and boy box of 3-6 month sized going out clothes but no onesies or "staying home and puking" clothes. UGH! So when I calmed down I placed a large order at Dharma Trading of newborn-6 month blanks and my DD and I can work on making "designer dyed clothing" when they get here. It will be super fun for her and solve that particular problem of what the baby will wear other than a cloth diaper.

Deb
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,321 Posts
only occasional freak outs. mostly of the "i like having our one boy and i don't think i want to do this baby thing again and i'm scared" variety. or the having to transfer to the hospital and ending with lots of unwanted interventions or an unwanted and unplanned for cesarean. or the "i hate all the clutter in our house" variety. or the lack of a plan for care of our 2 year old while i'm laboring.

but then i think i still have about 9 or 10 more weeks of being pregnant (assuming this babe doesn't come early) so i know i have a little more time to figure it out.

and my mom is coming this friday night and i'm sure she'll help me with the clutter in our house situation and getting assorted things ready for birthing and for the babe.

usually in the calm state, though.

~claudia
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,406 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by LeosMama
Oh wow, Cara. We lived in a dumpy place when ds was born, basically one room in somebody else's house. I could go on and on, but you've done it for me!


But the prospect of having a house built on land in the country!!! That has to be a bit of a bright spot for you!
Oh yeah, I'm not really complaining, just frusturated at the moment. We very much CHOSE to do all this, and chose to have the baby right now (which I am very glad for, I don't think I would have stayed sane if we had to wait!) and we are very excited that we will have a brand new built by hubby home soon! And I'm getting a BIG tub to birth in next time around. LOL, that's what I want in my new house, a big birthing tub, and a separate mud room with a utility sink. We live in a really pretty spot too, we'd rather live out here in our dumpy trailer than in the house we were in while we rented in the city last year, so it's all good... And I'm the ripe old age of 23... Young people are supposed to live in crappy places for a while! It builds character!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,406 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by gsmama2

Oh....I am freaking out *just a little* about the fact that I don't really have a midwife right now. I know I'll find one and everything will be ok, I just wish I didn't have to stress about it now. If I don't have one by next week I'm really going to FREAK out though!!
UC is a very good option
(I know your hubby's not really on board, but hey, maybe something will change...)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,053 Posts
I'm not really freaked out. I'm feeling that is getting close now though. I saw the hospital folk for my last check yesterday (35 weeks) and they wrote me a plan for what to do in different cases with my meds and bleeding post partum.

I've been feeling that the baby has really settled down in my pelvis and sure enough the OB felt that its only 3/5 palpable already! I'm sure that's thanks to the osteopaths straightening out my pelvis this time but its making me feel like I'm starting to waddle a bit. My midwife has left me my birth box of bits already too, I've got all my prefolds and flat nappies for ECing and my boobs are still where I left them
so we're all set.

So in my body I feel like I'm ready to go and every tightening I feel is one step closer to a lovely toned uterus and a stretchy cervix!

The only cloud is that I'm due my last full pay on 31st August then it gets a bit less and a bit less for 2 months until I end up with only GB£100 a week til March. Dh is starting to make strained faces about this because that will only just cover our mortgage and his business is growing but he's not really taking a lot out of it at the moment because there isn't any to have. EEK!

Oh well it will all sort itself out one way or the other and at the moment the babe is the least of my worries - safe inside is great, after my first I never wished for them to come out sooner!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,073 Posts
Quote:

Originally Posted by myhoneyswife
UC is a very good option
(I know your hubby's not really on board, but hey, maybe something will change...)
I've been trying everyday to get him to change his mind about UC, I don't think I'm going to. He's just the kind of guy who gets excited and stressed in a situation like that. We joke that it's his "emergency mode". For some reason he seems ok with the fact that the midwife might not even get here in time, but not having a midwife at all freaks him out.

Oh well, I plan on becoming a midwife in a few years so I do enjoy meeting the midwife and talking to her about that stuff. Plus I enjoy prenatals because for at least an hour once a month I don't feel silly talking just about me and my pregnancy as if I'm the only one who's ever felt this way
: even though I've done this 4 times
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
666 Posts
: I'm FREAKING OUT...!!!

Being my first born... Its the unknown.... The whole being in labour thing... I mean how do I know if I'm really in labour???

I'm starting to do the whole freaking nesting thing... I crazy clean EVERYTHING, my new best friend is my spray and wipe.... The other night my partner ran me a bath, it was about 10pm and instead of getting in the bath, I decided to clean the ENTIRE bathroom, at about 10.30pm as I was pearched on the toilet seat on tiptoes cleaning the top of the wall it did occur to me I may be going slightly insane..!

I can't wait for her to actually be here... Seems like I've been waiting forever to meet her, and not to mention my stomac is imparing my ability to do normal everyday things such as putting on my shoes and generally getting in the way of things.... Yet somehow at the same time it feels kind of like a dream.... Even though I can feel her moving all the time, I mean you can see my stomac move everytime she moves, but it still hasn't sunk in totally 100%.

But all in all, the whole thing is yeah.... Just a lil scary...... Especially the giving birth part.... I've heard so many different stories I have NO idea what to expect.....

But... Like they say, we're built for this right....??????????????????????
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
297 Posts
I have been trying to work on everything that has been making me freak out. Yesterday I finally got everything together for the homebirth. For some reason the supplies have been a major pain in my you-know-where. I also pulled out our 2 bouncy seats and washed the covers, got the co-sleeper out and set up in our room, stocked DD's changing table with diapers. Spent half the day thinking of all the things DH needs to do around the house (like finish the freaking staircase that only has a rail and pickets on one side, so all you need is a little tilt at 38 weeks to fall not only off the stairs, but about 12 feet down. I love my husband, but I swear as I slow down he slows down too. We also have our own business and he depends on me heavily for the house and taking care of a lot of our business stuff as well. We actually have to move the whole operation sometime next month, and he has decided that we absolutly have to take out a loan for $30,000 for equipment (the thought of this actually makes me want to :puke). AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
I have decided that for my own sanity I'm going to scrape together enough money to hire a post-partum doula. I didn't even know they existed until about 2 weeks ago. It began to dawn on me that I was going to have a baby at home and then *hope* that DH would be able to be home with me for the first week. Then I really started to freak out. He isn't very dependable that way, it's hard for him to stay away from the business (I guess it is our livelyhood and all
). So that makes me feel alot better, we will hire a wife to help me and DD out the 1st week
: About the only thing I haven't freaked out about is labor. I am not scared at all about it, I've already done it once! Plus the 2nd time has to be shorter...I'm actually looking forward to it.

Well, there's my rant...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,406 Posts
Oh, Piper'sMom, I can relate


And on the hubby staying home, at first I was freaking out because he only wanted to take birth-day off, then his boss said he could have a week off paid, and now I'm freaking out because what am I going to do with him when I'm immediately PP? Is he going to be okay with me laying in the bed all day? I don't know what the heck I want...

I had another freak out moment the other day, hubby is asking me if I'm really going to take my 6 weeks off work. Ummm, it's PAID maternity leave! Yeah, it's only 2/3, and I need to make up the 1/3 that I don't get paid, but YES I'm taking it off. He's annoyed that he's going to have to go to work and I'm going to be sitting on my butt all day (he really hates his job right now). This is the same man who tells me that he wishes I could be a stay at home wife/mom and he made more money. Ummmmmmm. LOL Neither of us know what we want. And I think one of us is in for a surprise at how much time babies actually take. (for the record I work at home over the net, that's why he thinks that I could work immediately after I birth... he's not trying to send our baby to daycare at 2 days old or me to some physical job)

We don't have a clue what we're doing! Ahhh!

Cara
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
297 Posts
OOOOHHHH Cara, prepare yourself!
My dh used to come home at the end of the day after DD was born, about a week or 2 later, and say "why are you tired, you haven't had to do anything all day". He was stressed out about the business, and had no clue about what it takes to be a mom. We had to have a BIG talk about it. I suggest you sit him down and do the same if he gives you any trouble pp
. Husbands can have a hard time with the first child, but it does get better. He totally gets it now
.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
666 Posts
After reading the last 3 entries it occurred to me part of the freaking out is to do with the fact I will most likely be coming home from the hospital to my house... Alone.... I only just found out people normally stay in hospital a few nights after giving birth, personally I hate the place, am going in there to have baby and then getting out of there as quick as... But yeah... Coming home by myself with my first baby is a scary thought....
 
1 - 20 of 35 Posts
Top