[KLM99]

I've posted previously about how much I'm struggling with the decision about whether to work full-time, try to find a part-time job, or just stay at home. We're lucky enough that I have the choice, so I feel fortunate for that. But obviously it would be a huge income cut and we'd go from saving quite a bit to saving almost nothing. There's also the career path considerations to take into account - how much reduced will my career aspirations need to be if I take some time off to have kids? Why did I get my Master's degree if I'm just going to stay home? Etc, etc. And also, is this just a "grass is greener" thing where I'll make the leap and then wish I hadn't?

Is anyone else thinking about this decision now? Want to support each other through it?

 

[dentmom3]

I'm here for you!

This *was* my struggle and internal battle for the last year or two but I am in a happy place now! I opted for the part time job, still gives me an outlet for my career talents, gives me a change of scenery so I am not as stir crazy as many of my FT SAHM friends and still gives my kids the 'feel' of me as a SAHM. As DD put it, you are an at home mom, except for the days that you are a dentist.

Some of the benefits of me working are more tangible than others. For us, childcare costs are outrageous, and even more so with the kids only going to a center part time (we don't get a sibling discount or discounts if the kids miss when they are sick or on vacation since we are only part time) so the financial benefits aren't as much as people might think. OTOH, I know my relationship with DH well enough to know that WE need me to WOH, at least some, to keep there from being a power struggle in our relationship. Both of our families had dysfunctional money issues in different ways and we are trying not to have those types of problems. And as far as the kids go, they are happy, they like 'school' and they really like coming to my office where everyone treats them like rock stars!!

What is making you feel like you need a change? Childcare issues, dissatisfaction in the workplace? The more this topic comes up the more I realize that it is so personal, only you hold the answer. When I was really torn about this last year I finally realized that it was a matter of not feeling totally secure in my new office yet and it seemed easier to quit and stay home at the time because I wasn't comfortable yet. As my new workplace has become more comfortable then I realized that I am no longer having thoughts of quitting my job, KWIM? So I'd start by listing the issues and go from there.

 

[KLM99]

Thanks, Dentmom, great points! Well part of it is dissatisfaction with my current job, definitely. But also, little things have been bothering me about my not being with my daughter - sleep issues, for one. I have to wake her up in the morning to take her to my mom's house, which I hate doing because then she's kind of cranky all morning, she won't settle for my mom (there's one problem with nursing down and co-sleeping), so she doesn't nap well all day, and when she does it's usually in the car, so it's not good napping and she gets woken up from her nap when it's time to get out of the car, and then of course she doesn't sleep well at night because she's overtired. And then there's the car - she's in the car over 2 hours every day between getting from my house to my mom's house, which I (and my daughter) hate. Oh and we're having to hire a nanny 2 days a week now, whom we are paying more than I make in those two days, so it's not even financially worth it to work those two days. And I really like the nanny, but I feel like why did I even have children if I'm paying someone else to watch them, especially since I have the choice? And we're gearing up for baby #2 and I think I would go NUTS with two children and this routine. And most of all, I MISS MY BABY all day!

I feel like a part-time job would be great, but my company isn't open to them because we're so small and it's not like you can really find a part-time job if you're not already in a job (no one advertises for part-time employees it seems).

Argh - why does it have to be such a choice between careers and babies? I wish society would make this easier on people! Sorry for the rant...lol...this is a really really tough decision, as I'm sure you know.

 

[crazydiamond]

I'm in this same position, too.

I'm leaving my current job for a part time job. The new job is more exciting and better suited for me, so that's a bonus, but it's still part time. I'm afraid that I won't advance in my career as quickly if I stop working full time. However, my current job was doing nothing for my career so I needed a different job anyhow. I decided to just take the opportunity to stay home with them some, finish my degree, and work part time.

I'm not particularly religious, but I do believe somewhat in omens. I have been very nervous about leaving my job, mostly afraid of the unknown. But then I got to thinking and realized that everything has been settling into place. For example, while home on maternity leave I found out my childcare situation would no longer work. But then I found out about the part-time job and their flexibilty in start date. And then the very day after giving my notice, I find out that due to company changes I might have been out of a job by the end of the year anyway. I'm taking all of this as a sign that taking this PT job and staying home with my kids is the best for all of us. It's still scary but despite my extreme left-brainedness, I need to have faith.

And just to give you hope, my industry is one in which there are very few part time opportunities and I almost never see them advertised. I happened to learn about my position in a very unusual place, a place I don't visit often. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.

It will come together for you, too. The worst thing you can do is deny yourself an opportunity because you're afraid of change.