[heveasoul]

Hi there.

I have what I consider a "daytime high needs" almost 3-month old. Nighttime is great - I nurse lying in bed, and he sleeps in between feeds.

Daytime is a whole 'nother story...

He basically cycles through feeding, awake/playing, and sleeping time. He always resists the sleep, even though I sling him for it on his cues, and he is very tired...his resistance takes the form of crying, sometimes quite fiercely, but only ever lasts a few minutes, maybe not even. (Unless he's particularly cranky, or if I've misread his cries.)

I enjoy our sling time, but sometimes, after he's fallen asleep in the sling, I'd just like to put him down for a nap (I don't mean put down to sleep in awake state - I know it's rare that a baby can just be placed somewhere for a nap...especially this one - he needs his shhhhing/mmmmming/rocking/bouncing.) Whenever I've tried, as soon as I've (carefully!) put him down, his eyes pop right open, and there's no way he'll just fall back asleep...

Any suggestions? Maybe it's just what he needs these days...big fatigued sigh from mama...I'm hoping I can eventually get him napping some on his own!

 

[alegna]

Hang in there. My dd went through that for awhile too.... now I can finally set her down to nap and she stays asleep. FWIW- that's a great time to surf... naps on the boppy (on mom) in front of the computer work quite well here...

-Angela

 

[Carolinamidwife]

Can he get to sleep without the sling? I also have a high needs daytimer and I used to sling her to sleep and then I would sit on the birth ball and bounce while surfing or watching TV. It was complete freedom but at least I wasn't pacing.

Putting him to sleep without the sling might help. Will he nurse down? My dd only will sometimes so when she doesn't I bounce her to sleep on the ball.

 

[Mizelenius]

Here's my advice on sleep: give up.

My DD 1 didn't like naps that weren't "on" me. She didn't like to sleep at night unless nursing (and I couldn't sleep while she did it). It was horrible. The times that I got most upset

: were about sleep.

So, enter DD 2. Before she was born, I said, "This time, I'm going to do things the RIGHT way. I'm going to put her to sleep in her hammock from day 1, I'm going to unlatch her before she falls asleep . . ." etc. :LOL Then she was born and NO WAY would she be put down (my friend thinks it's a survival mechanism).

I decided the day she came home with me that I would not spend another instant worrying about sleep. Now, I HAVE had moments where I have asked, "Why doesn't this newborn sleep?"

but in general, I try not to worry about it. I can't deal with the stress of it again. When DH brings up some new scheme (drove me crazy-- he did that with DD all the time) to get her to sleep, I tell him, "Not this time, Buddy. This time, I am NOT going to stress about sleep."

Instead, I have some nice baby carriers and I see them as essential . . .so I don't mind spending money for pretty ones, functional ones, or ones I just want. I see them as helping my SANITY because I am going to assume that I will be carrying DD for a looooong time.

And honestly, it all goes by so fast. Pretty soon, they don't want to be carried anymore and you'll wonder where the time went.

Things we can't control:
Sleep
Eating
Poo/Pee

 

[heveasoul]

thanks all!

for this last one, I rocked/walked him to sleep in blanket in my arms, to see if it would be easier to lay him down...well, his eyes didn't immediately pop open, but he only slept for 10 minutes (after the 10 or so minutes in my arms)! Forget that! back to the sling - less work to get him to sleep, and he stays asleep longer. It's not like I need him to sleep, but he cries when he's tired. Won't comfort nurse. Sometimes falls asleep at the breast during the day, but not often.

It's true - with him in the sling, it's a good excuse to hang out here and surf - I'm rather short, so with my short arms, there are only so many chores I can accomplish with him in the sling!

 

[Mizelenius]

Quote:

Originally Posted by heveasoul It's true - with him in the sling, it's a good excuse to hang out here and surf - I'm rather short, so with my short arms, there are only so many chores I can accomplish with him in the sling!

Heh, heh . . .not so fast! One of the purposes of slings is to GET THINGS DONE! That's why women in so many countries use them throughout the day! Time to get a wrap or MT and learn some back carries! www.mamatoto.org

 

[Carolinamidwife]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mizelenius Heh, heh . . .not so fast! One of the purposes of slings is to GET THINGS DONE! That's why women in so many countries use them throughout the day! Time to get a wrap or MT and learn some back carries! www.mamatoto.org

LOL! No... you can get things done when they are awake and would not normally be allowing you to just veg! Naptime is for vegging!

ITA with the backwearing suggestions! Mine never slept on my back but I did do LOTS of chores with her back there.

 

[rzberrymom]

We were going through the same thing--DD is easy at night, but high needs during the day and her eyes would pop open the minute I put her down. I kept thinking, will I ever be able to put her down for a nap?! And then, one day, at almost exactly 4 months, she just stared at me when I put her in the sling for a nap--didn't complain but wouldn't go to sleep. I put her on the bad, and she actually fell asleep. I still lie down with her, but at least my back gets a break.

Just thought I'd offer encouragement that maybe it's what he needs for now but could be ready very soon.

 

[heveasoul]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rzberrymom We were going through the same thing--DD is easy at night, but high needs during the day and her eyes would pop open the minute I put her down. I kept thinking, will I ever be able to put her down for a nap?! And then, one day, at almost exactly 4 months, she just stared at me when I put her in the sling for a nap--didn't complain but wouldn't go to sleep. I put her on the bad, and she actually fell asleep. I still lie down with her, but at least my back gets a break. Just thought I'd offer encouragement that maybe it's what he needs for now but could be ready very soon.

wow.

please, oh please, let this happen to us!

:

Hmmm, Mizelenius - I guess I could figure out how to use it differently...

 

[crystallynn]

I learned with dd#1 that they are going to sleep on their schedule, no matter what I did. A great saying someone once told me "This too shall pass". Dd#1 now goes to sleep in her own bed, by herself, with NO fuss whatsoever. She just needed time to grow into her own pattern.

 

[Quindin]

My 3 month old will only sleep during the day if it is in a carrier. If I try put him down and he will cry. Some babies need a bouncer/swing - I guess my baby sees me as his own comfy crib with easy access to food :LOL

Anyways, the way I took care of this "problem" was to invest on a few beautiful and very functional carriers!!! It is just great and I can do housework and play with my toddler while my baby sleeps in a carrier just as easily as if he was not there!! I really love it.

Some people might say: "you are teaching him to depend on you too much" Well, this is my first baby that will wake up in the morning and just lay there smiling and happy for a long time, even if I am not around. It is as if he has nothing to worry about because he knows mommy is nearby somewhere.

I am also enjoying every second of it much more this time. I look at my 2 oldest children and they grew up so fast!!!

I spent way too much time worrying when they would sleep well or when they would begin talking or when they would begin walking... I wish I had just relaxed and enjoyed every second of it.

What kind of carrier do you have by the way? You could maybe put your baby on your back for his naps? I hated carrying DS#2 in a ring sling - it was just too uncomrtable and cubersome. After I discovered MTs and wraps, my world changed!!

 

[heveasoul]

Quote:

Originally Posted by polihaupt Some people might say: "you are teaching him to depend on you too much" Well, this is my first baby that will wake up in the morning and just lay there smiling and happy for a long time, even if I am not around. It is as if he has nothing to worry about because he knows mommy is nearby somewhere.

Hmmmm - mine wakes up happy in the morning, too! It's my favourite part of the day, the way he looks at me, and makes the GREATEST sounds - cooing, gurgles, and now screeches!

I use a kkfp, and so does dh. I haven't figured out my ring sling yet

: .

 

[Quindin]

Quote:

Originally Posted by heveasoul Hmmmm - mine wakes up happy in the morning, too! It's my favourite part of the day, the way he looks at me, and makes the GREATEST sounds - cooing, gurgles, and now screeches! I use a kkfp, and so does dh. I haven't figured out my ring sling yet : .

Isn't it wonderful??

I love those smiles

I can't figure out ring slings either, but I heard KKFP are awesome!!
If you ever would like to try a two-shoulder carrier, I can highly recommend a MeiTai (like a Freehand or Kozy)

 

[Momof3Rugrats]

Other than slinging I used a Fisher Price travel swing. Its nice and soft and small and I could put it anywhere. The swinging motion helped keep her asleep and I could do things like shower.

I'd just put it on the floor next to the shower. It was a real life saver and I'm not big on all the mainstream things but this one I made an exception for!

 

[Mizelenius]

Can someone please tell my DD that she should be waking up cooing? :LOL She's a Fussy Mussy most of the time! Thank g** for the sling or it would be even worse!

 

[heveasoul]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Momof3Rugrats Other than slinging I used a Fisher Price travel swing. Its nice and soft and small and I could put it anywhere. The swinging motion helped keep her asleep and I could do things like shower. I'd just put it on the floor next to the shower. It was a real life saver and I'm not big on all the mainstream things but this one I made an exception for!

You mean your baby would fall asleep in it, or you put dc in it once already asleep? I have one of those - he'll enjoy it for about 5-10 minutes only. Today, I was so tired - I thought I'd try him in it when I knew he was tired, by placing it by the window, where there were dancing shadows from the sun behind the trees outside...thought since that seems to mesmerize him, that he might peacefully drift off...HA! :LOL

Mizelenius -

So, does she happily hang out in the sling when awake, too? Mine will only tolerate it for a short period (other than when sleeping), then he complains and wants out.

Someone gave me their Baby Trekker. I may try it for awake times (for short periods)...Admittedly, I haven't ventured into any of the other positions with my kkfp. I've tried to place him tummy to tummy, but he doesn't like it. I think facing out is next, for awake times - he has pretty good head control.

 

[Quindin]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mizelenius Can someone please tell my DD that she should be waking up cooing? :LOL She's a Fussy Mussy most of the time! Thank g** for the sling or it would be even worse!

She will

My baby was born in March and his fussyness has been disappearing for the last few weeks!! It is a miracle!! :LOL

 

[sistermama]

Quote:

Originally Posted by heveasoul I'd just like to put him down for a nap (I don't mean put down to sleep in awake state - I know it's rare that a baby can just be placed somewhere for a nap...especially this one - he needs his shhhhing/mmmmming/rocking/bouncing.) Whenever I've tried, as soon as I've (carefully!) put him down, his eyes pop right open, and there's no way he'll just fall back asleep... Any suggestions? Maybe it's just what he needs these days...big fatigued sigh from mama...I'm hoping I can eventually get him napping some on his own!

I totally understand the wanting to get him down asleep, even if it is once or twice a day!

Sometimes I just want to get the little junk picked up off the floors! :LOL

How do you try putting him down? With dd (and before with ds), once she is good and asleep (in the sling) I lay down with her, still in the sling. We are then both laying on our sides. (This works with front and back carries). I stay like that for a couple minutes (not always really comfortable) until she has kind of resettled down, even though she has never actually woken. I then slowly loosen the carrier until it is undone/loose enough and then I slowly inch myself away from her.

This works once or twice a day for her. Another thing I have found that REALLY helps is having her sleep on a sheepskin. At the beginning I didn't have one. She has a cradle in the living room, and I noticed that she was recognizing it and feeling comfortable with it (since she knew where she was) if she happened to open her eyes while I was putting her down. That never happened in our family bed, and I realized that for a little baby, there maybe isn't much "familiarity" in a large bed in a white walled room. Once I got the sheepskin, which she also sleeps on at night (next to me) I can put her down just about anywhere for a nap. Even if she wakes up a little as I'm putting her down, she grabs some fistfulls of wool, rubs her little face in and falls back asleep. Cheap, nice sheepskins can be found at IKEA, if you know someone near one.

 

[heveasoul]

I probably haven't spent enough time with the transition - thanks for the description! Also, I may have had bad luck with timing - either caught him during the light phase of one of his sleep cycles, or tried too late into the sleep, when he was in a light sleep again...

He does have a lambskin. I suppose it might be what helps make his nighttime more peaceful. During the day, we keep it in his moses basket - he enjoys playing with his arch mobile thingy in it, but when I've put him down on it for naps, he won't stay asleep for long.

Speaking of nighttime...off to join him - I need my sleep for another day of babywearing...!

 

[shannon0218]

Heve, when Molly falls off in the sling, I gradually pull it away from my body and then just pull the whole thing over my head and slowly lower her to the bed, then I usually just lay down right beside her until she's totally back to sleep.