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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We are planning a homebirth in January with two wonderful midwives. We had our first with nurse midwives in a hospital. I thought I was 100% at peace with my decision to have a homebirth. Just recently I'm wondering if I shoudn't go to the hospital instead.<br><br>
I guess different people have different reasons for wanting a homebirth, or for wanting to avoid the hospital.<br><br>
My first birth, I got started on Pitocin at 41 weeks, 6 days, after already having been in labor for over 2 days and not progressing. I was in labor for 3.5 days total. They bumped up my pitocin levels twice. They broke my water, did a urine cath, gave the baby an internal monitor. For hours on end I had minute on/minute off contractions. I had no drugs for pain until they suggested nubain at about 4pm, I was only at a 4 despite over 3 days of labor. After 2 hours I was at a 10, pushed for 2 hours 20 minutes, had a 3rd degree tear, and was so exhausted I was practically delusional. I called my dd a "good bird" (we have 3 parrots at home). Through all that I never raised my voice or even shed a single tear.<br><br>
I am not afraid to do any of the above again - I know I can get through it.<br>
I am not afraid of a ceasarian section, though obviously don't want one.<br>
I am not afraid to give birth in the hospital.<br>
I am not afraid of pain.<br>
I do think things are done "wrong" at the hospital.<br>
I am turned off by a hospital birth.<br>
I would like to give birth at home.<br>
I believe that no matter how "bad" things go in the hospital, the chances of myself or my baby dying are extremely low.<br>
I believe that if something goes wrong for the baby at home, like a prolapsed cord, the baby will have a better chance of survival if we are at the hospital.<br><br>
While I would prefer to have a homebirth, based on the above, I wonder if I should just go to the hospital. Mainly I'm concerned about living with myself if the baby should die at home, when I do believe I could live with another hospital birth.<br><br>
Any thoughts?<br><br>
~Tracy
 

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I've been researching like mad -- trying to find out all the truth I can about birth, and I've read beautiful and terrifying things. I know that I won't be remotely calm or happy in a hospital, so I'd like to avoid that unless its an emergeny.<br><br>
The more I read the more I think that birth can be a beautiful thing. Its sad that the ONLY mental picture I have of birth is of the horrible images seen on TV, which do nothing but scare. No wonder most of the women in today's society go to hospitals -- they've never seen or been told of any other way... But its like one of the midwives I read about said...our birthing choices should be made by us, mothers, in an <b>informed</b> manner.<br><br>
I think it is up to us to make an <b>informed</b> decision based on research that each of us do. I think that only you can weigh the pros & cons of each decision & the consequences of both to know what is best for you.<br><br>
I have the same worries you do...primarily, "what if something bad happens to the baby"...Its a horrible worry to have, but as a parent-to-be, how can I just relinquish my responsibilty of the health of my child to someone else.?. So with that in mind, I try to understand better what the "what ifs" are & what to do in case one of those happens (b/c I'm committed to a homebirth...but would like someone in the house w/ me for any "what if" I haven't prepared for).<br><br>
But really, you've got to find what YOU are most comfortable doing. One of the main points of a homebirth for me is to be in a setting that is safe & comfortable to me, but for some people a hospital or birthing center is the place that makes them feel safe & comfortable...
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thanks for the response, I appreciate it.<br><br>
I've read some, not as much as I'd like to - so busy.<br><br>
I know there are always pros and cons to every situation - you just can never have it both ways. I think for the most part I am MORE comfortable with the homebirth plan. I didn't help that today I read a thread about a baby dying after a complication that happened during a homebirth. Others also posted then about some similar experiences. It is one thing to be informed, but another to let yourself read emotional stories during this time, kwim? It is good to know what can happen, but reading recent sad stories can skew ones viewpoint.
 

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I read several sad stories today too, and its those kinds of things that shake my resolve a lil bit. That's why sometimes I have to keep reminding myself to "always surround myself with people & things that are positive".<br><br>
Not that I'm burying my head in the sand, but I have to force myself to back away from those kinds of things & research research research...I've been a student for most of my life & its ingrained in me to look for a solution if I find a problem... For my peace of mind, I first ask myself, would being in a hospital have made a difference? How often can this happen & can it be fixed at home? Will being at a hospital increase the chances of something bad happening.?.<br><br>
I always keep in the back of my mind that I can always transfer to a hospital if need be...<br><br>
I'm sorry that I'm not more help...I'm just having similar fears whenever I read something bad or negative -- so I understand what you're saying. The only thing I've found to keep a positive feeling is to read a postive, good story for every bad one I read, so that I can keep my focus...<br><br>
I hope the very best for your birth experience! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Again, I really appreciate your response. It helps to know I am not the only one who gets "nervous" I guess. I too believe you can have complications CAUSED by things done in a hospital. There are risks there too.<br><br>
It also helped last week when my dh and I talked to our midwives. They outlined the things that can go wrong and how they would be handled. They are on the same page as me with wanting to transfer with any signs that things are going to go badly. They said they don't like to attend births for someone who is afraid to go to the hospital, and they think it is good that I am not afraid to transfer if need be and am looking at the risks as well as the benefits.<br><br>
I really do have fantastic midwives - I'm so lucky. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
~Tracy
 

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The most important thing you can do, is to trust your intuition.<br>
If something feels wrong about your birth plan, change your plan.<br><br>
I had a wonderful homebirth and loved everything about it.<br><br>
But my midwife and I have discussed that sometimes things just don't "feel" right. And it may be that your worry is helping you to process some feelings about the birth. Or it may be that deep inside, you know something about this birth that no one else can know. And if that means that you choose a hospital birth, no one should fault you for that -- most of all YOU should not fault yourself for changing your mind.<br><br>
A homebirth can be the most beautiful experience. But if you are fearful, it is unlikely to progress naturally. And if you don't feel that you will be able to relax fully, you may have another really long labor. And if you aren't comfortable with that, you may feel safer at a hospital.<br><br>
As an alternative, have you considered a birth center? That would allow allow you more of an at-home environment, with all the medical back-up a hospital would have.<br><br>
Keep in mind, that if something requires an emergency c-section while you are at home, your midwife will call the hospital and by the time the ambulance gets you to the hospital, the op team will be ready for you. If you are in the hospital and they decide on an emergency c-section, it still takes them about 20-30 minutes to get the room and the surgeon ready. Assuming you live somewhat near a hospital, that is plenty of time to get you there. Granted, it would suck to have that happen, but having spent labor at home would (probably) not change the outcome.<br><br>
Also, talk to your midwives about how they would handle that kind of situation.<br>
Have they dealt with neonatal recesitation? When was their last training?<br>
How many times have they done it?<br><br>
Just some thoughts.<br>
Good luck and happy birthing!
 

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I don't think I can say anything better than what has been said, but would like to add two things:<br><br>
1. I believe the best place for a woman to gie birth is whereer she feels safest, because painful birth is caused by fear, and every woman deserves to birth without fear. If you have doubts, you are not a failure if you choose a hospital. Knowing what you know, you should feel confident that you can stand up to a doctor if he suggests something you know is for his convenience, not yours.<br><br>
2. Currently in the United States, if your pregnancy is normal, your baby has about the same chance of dying in the hospital as it does at home. Study after study has shown this, and there has yet to be a single study that says otherwise. Doctors like to scare women by pointing out those rare instances where a baby dies during a homebirth, but if you were to ask them how many die in the hospital, the number would be equal or greater, even excluding high-risk pregnancies.<br><br>
My decision to give birth at home has been consistently reinforced by science, not by this naive fantasy of a fairy tale birth. The more I know, the more powerfully I feel that a hospital birth should be avoided unless totally necessary. But that is me. You must follow your own heart and let the critics be damned. If your heart and mind feel weary of a homebirth, than don't do it. That doesn't make you weak. It takes courage to listen to your intuition. You have as much of a right to a hospital birth with its available technology as you have to a homebirth without it.
 
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