[RunnerDuck]

My girls have been combo fed pretty much since 4 or 5 months. I just couldn't make enough milk for both babies. So we've done boob then bottle for most feedings... till recently it got to be more and more bottle and we were nursing first thing in the AM and last thing in the PM and I was thinking weaning was around the corner and maybe, maybe, maybe baby #4...

And E said, hey, you know what, mom? NO.

I mean, except she doesn't talk, so she didn't *really* say it.

They had shots at their one year check up - prevnar and hep A - and she reacted badly. Fever of 104 for 3 days... very clingy, very whiny, very "don't put me down." I took her in to have her ears looked at and they were fine so the only thing I could blame was the shots, grrrr. Never seen a reaction like that before. She also became anti-bottle during that time. Now she will take a few sips here and there but often arches back if the bottle even comes near her. No clue why. She will nurse and eat solids - but no bottle.

Well since we were down to 2 nursings a day and I never made enough for both babies anyway - I had to cut the other one off. Luckily she didn't care. She's always been more independent whereas E has always been my mama's girl.... but even for her this has been over the top.

Well - the shots were March 31 and this is still going on. I guess K is totally weaned now and E is pretty much all on breastmilk.

So hey I'm finally exclusively nursing!!! It's just, only one of them... not really how I pictured it.

Not looking for advice here, just wondering if anyone else has weaned one and not the other. It seems kinda weird to me...

 

[lexbeach]

One of my twins weaned before the other one. They were between the ages of 2.5 and 3 years old, and I attempted to wean both of them, but re-nagged on that decision once I saw how much it affected one of my twins. I actually offered the breast to both of them, but one had totally forgotten how to latch on (even though it hadn't been more than two weeks) and wasn't interested. The other one continued to nurse for several more months. It felt much more manageable to me than nursing twin 2-year-olds did; I loved it, and only weaned the remaining nursling when I became pregnant again (and it was too painful).

I can imagine that it would have felt weird to only be nursing one of them as babies/young toddlers, though. Still, it sounds like you are following your babies' leads, and like the situation is working for them perfectly. I'm sorry that nursing didn't work out the way you hoped it would; I'm glad that you're getting to experience exclusive breastfeeding with at least one of your little ones!

Lex

 

[kimpo76]

I didn't "wean" my DS, but he is ff and his twin sister is ebf. I have always had milk supply issues, even with my singleton, and my son has "tongue issues" (possible Beckwith-Wiedemann Syndrome). After two months of forcing his head onto my boob I decided to give it up because it was negatively affecting my breastfeeding relationship with my daughter (who is definitely a mommy's girl). It makes feeding them both harder at times, but it is what it is!

 

[Shuli]

R would have stopped nursing at about a year on his own, but kept going 'cause his brother was an avid nurser. I am sure that if they both had been ready they would have stopped at that time. I ebf them both for about 18 months. I'm sure it would have felt weird to nurse only one while the other looked on taking a bottle. It sounds like you are doing the right thing for your family.

 

[newmoon2000]

I'm having a very similar experience. One of my twins weaned shortly after his first birthday, but his brother is still nursing (they're turning 3yo in a couple of weeks).

Due to their extreme prematurity, resulting in 3 months in the NICU, combined with an inadequate milk supply, and one baby that displayed an intolerance for soy- and dairy-based formula, we developed an elaborate system combining breastfeeding and bottle-feeding a mixture of EBM and special formula. The breast pump was my third baby for the first 18mos. It paid off...they are the picture of health today...but it was exhausting, physically and emotionally.

Eventually, it sort of naturally evolved that S, who needed mostly breastmilk got better and better at nursing. And D, who tolerated formula well, became less and less interested in the breast. Somewhere around their first birthday, D stopped nursing and transitioned to strictly bottles of cow's milk. S continues to nurse at naptime and during the night (more for comfort than for nutrition, obviously).

As a result, I would definitely say that S is more attached to me than D. He sleeps next to me and nurses often throughout the night. And D sleeps next to his father, who comforts him when he wakes in the night. DH and I often joke that we "split up the twins". Sometimes I can laugh about it. And other times I feel really bad. In some ways, it's a really good thing because It makes DH feel so much more a part of things. DH and D have a special connection and D will often ask for Daddy when he wants to be held. In extreme cases, he still wants Mommy, but S will ONLY accept Mommy, so when both boys need comforting at the same time, it has to be me with S and DH with D.

This is really the only place in my parenting where I wish things could have happened differently. I can't say that I have any regrets, because I know we did the best we could to meet the needs of our babies under the circumstances. But sometimes I long to nurse D, or cuddle next to him at night, or hold him for an extended time without S getting upset. And I worry about how it will affect our relationship down the road, not having the same formative bond that I have with S. It hurts when D resists my attempts to comfort him ("stay away Mommy") and asks for his father instead. Although I don't obsess over it, when I think about it, I just feel very sad.

Although, given our touch-and-go beginnings, I am eternally grateful that I was able to breastfeed at all, I am looking forward to the day that S decides to wean, freeing me up to split my time with them more equally.

I know this experience (only breastfeeding one twin) is unusual. It is reassuring to know I'm not alone. If you want to talk more about it, you can PM me!

 

[DeerMother]

I find this subject interesting. Mine are just a month older than yours. Today, I offered both of them milk around 11 as we were getting ready to leave for the afternoon and I d/n want to nurse where we were going. Since then, dd has nursed 3x and ds has nursed zero. For several months now, I have noticed that ds has shown less of an interest and will often just ask for milk if he sees his sis nursing. (with the exception of morning, before morning nap, night). I wonder what their schedule would be if they were singletons. Seems like ds might be on par w/ some of his peers, about 4x a day, whereas dd would still be nursing like a nb. Don't know if this has anything to do w/ it, but dd is much more independent, and ds stays close to me and needs a lot more cuddle time than his sister. Maybe all that independence is driving her to nurse more while he is getting his closeness met in other ways.

 

[RunnerDuck]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kimpo76 It makes feeding them both harder at times, but it is what it is!

Actually I found it pretty easy to hold one and nurse one while the other sat in a bouncy and I held a bottle for her, early on before they could hold their own bottles. I never found nursing both at once easy at all... and nursing one while the other screamed was even worse!!!

Lots of views on this thread, not much commentary. Must be a juicy topic for some reason...