[Moonprysm]

I'm having a lot of trouble coming to grips with the fact that I will never tandem nurse. I wanted so badly to continue to nurse DS1 once DS2 was born. Luckily DS1 self-weaned a few months before the baby came along, because I can't imagine how hard it would make the transition for DS1 if he suddenly wasn't allowed to nurse anymore because the baby needs all the milk I can make.

But it makes me think about having to wean to have #3. And it just makes me incredibly sad that it is something I will never do. We really wanted #2 and #3 to be fairly close in age, and yet I find myself praying that it won't happen until DS2 is AT LEAST a year, because I can't imagine having to wean a baby because another baby needs the milk more.

I'd love to have two little Irish twins, happily sharing nummies, maybe holding hands while doing so...and it's something I will never do. I'm just having a really hard time with this lately.

 

[justthinkn]

I definitely understand what you're feeling

On the one hand, I don't know how long I want to nurse DD (22 mo's now), I'm not necessarily going to CLW. On the other hand, I feel very conflicted about the idea of deliberately weaning her for a new baby.

I will say, my LC told me that I could try tandeming as long as the new baby gets all the milk s/he needs first, and the older nursling suckles right after (so probably just comfort nursing). But when I think of how hard nursing was the first few months with DD, SNS, pumping, etc., I can't imagine adding another, older nursling into that already complicated picture... Maybe everything will be better next time, but if it's not...

Anyway, I do understand...

 

[justthinkn]

One more response, b/c I actually had a very encouraging visit with a friend today, who has IGT and now has LO #2, just 8 days old. She's tandeming, and is finding it very helpful and not at all stressful, or at least not any more than singleton nursing with IGT

Her older child is almost 3, so admittedly doesn't nurse as much anymore. But I think some of the principles would be the same.

She doesn't let the toddler nurse when she's using the SNS - just too stressful.

She latches the babe on first, then once he's finished on one side, she moves him over, and invites the toddler to nurse on the "finished" side.

She doesn't have to pump much at all, b/c the toddler is doing the "extra" stimulation! B/c she does pump 1-2x/day and gets like 0.25oz each time, she's not worried that the toddler is taking much milk that the babe could be getting.

Anyway, I felt encouraged seeing where she's at at this point. Maybe I won't feel like I *have* to wean after all...

 

[ErinBird]

In a way I do. At the same time, weaning DD during this pregnancy has not been challenging or met with resistance. I would feel differently if she were resisting or younger, I think. My other option is to not wean and hope for the best, but then I would need to abruptly wean if my supply is very low again so my 3yo doesn't take any of the very limited milk from her newborn sibling.

IGT moms often have more milk with subsequent children. I hope that this time around I supplement less and perhaps I'd feel okay about tandem nursing a preschooler (3-4yo) with a lot of limits and a new baby.

A friend did not wean her older DS during her second pregnancy, though they did cut back a lot. Her DS is now 3.5yo and nurses 2 times a day for under a minute each time. Her 7mo was supplemented with a few ounces a day until 5mo, but then her supply caught up and she no longer needs to supplement. She knows her supply is tenuous and is still careful, but tandem nursing has been possible for her.

My low supply the first time around was what led me to space my children a bit further then initially planned. Knowing that weaning would have to happen made me paralyzed about actually planning and trying for a second child. This baby subsequently was a surprise conception and that makes me feel like it was the right time.