My baby girl was born with her hand up over her head and I got a 2nd degree tear from it. Her elbow was actually sticking out to the side and my midwife was able to kind of bring her arm out in front of her head so the elbow didn't stick out as much but I still tore. Is tearing inevitable when babies come out like this? Did anyone not tear who experienced this? I don't want to second guess my birth because it will only make me feel regret, but I can't help but think if I had not pushed it would not have happened.
I did have an episiotomy with my first. I wonder if that interferes with the skin stretching the second time?
Could be. I had an episiotomy with my first baby, then tore the next three times over the scar (each baby 2 and 3lbs bigger than that first one). I think I'll never know if that was a factor with my fat babies
I'm sad you feel responsible. Sometimes it just happens no matter how hard we (moms and midwives) try to prevent it and thankfully nature provided a very forgiving anatomy.
My dd was born this way and I DID tear. Just 2 stitches though. My doula thought if I'd been in a better position I wouldn't have torn. Don't feel bad! Birth is what it is, we just have to accept that we did the best we could with the circumstances that presented themselves. Nothing is wrong with you!
DS was born with a hand on his cheek. I was in a good position but still got a teeny tear. Didn't even get a stitch for it. I may have torn because I'd badly torn with baby#1 with bad stitching. The worst about DS's birth was having to stop pushing during that ring of fire so the MW could work is hand/arm out to prevent me from tearing more. After his birth the MW said, "I saw a perfect crown, perfectly stretched perineum, then a knuckle, and thought 'Oh s&^# a hand' and she doesn't want to tear." I look at it this way, if he'd been born in a hospital, it would have been either an episiotomy or popping the arm out and getting lots of stitches.
A friend of mine had a 9.5# baby born like superman and had no tears.
You have a new baby to love and to hold that is what makes a good birth! Yes we all have our plans of how it will go & what will make a perfect birth. But those are just plans.
Hopefully some time and distance will allow you to accept the tear as part of what you had to do to birth your daughter and you will be able to let it stop interfering with your memory of such a joyous occasion.
FWIW, I had a small tear with a well positioned baby.
Hand on chin, big 2nd degree tear (I don't know how many stitches, but it took the ER doc 2 hours to do them all).
I did push - I pushed as hard as I could, and kept pushing after the contraction was over. I did that on purpose; I was determined to birth her then. At that point I'd been pushing for 6 hours, and was tiring fast. I don't have any way of knowing for sure, but I believe I had been making no progress for hours - just pushing her head to the same position over and over. I don't know how hard it was for her.
Thanks for sharing your stories! It makes me feel better. I actually tore kind of inside where her elbow was. Luckily my midwife could pull her hand out so the elbow woudn't snag even more skin on the way out. I am not glad other people tore but at the same time it makes me feel like I am not alone. It is ironic to me that my 6 lb 10 oz twin is what make me tore and her 8 lb 4 oz brother came out just fine.
I guess size really does not make much difference when it comes to that kind of thing.
DD was born with her on her cheek and I did tear. My midwife was guiding her hand and working the perineum around to prevent tearing when I was overcome by a huge pushing contraction. I HAD to push and as a result ended up with a 2nd degree tear. I feel like if I had waited until she had completed her maneuvering, I wouldn't have torn or at least not as much.