[guestmama9907]

My SO just started trucking school to get his CDL. For the next 8 weeks I see him for an hour and half 5 days a week and in the evenings on Fri and Sat. He works full time 3rd shift and goes to school in the evenings before work and sleeps all day. Once he gets his CDL he will be driving a truck. We arent sure what kind of job he will take or what his schedule will be but I know that he will at least be gone for a week at a time maybe even 2 weeks and then home for a weekend. There is one job that is 7 days on 7 days off. I think that would be great but the pay is less of course so I doubt he will do that. I guess I am wondering how you handle it. How do your kids handle it?We are soooo broke now. I stay home, he works at a brake factory thru a temp service so the motivation behind him trucking is all about the money. It makes me sad though that he is and will be missing our dd growing up. She will be a year on May 30.

 

[M&MSMAMA]

My DH is a trucker. He owns his own semi and leases on with a company. I find it to be really hard sometimes and it is also hard on the kids too. Will your SO be owning his own truck or driving for another company? That makes a difference, maybe not in how often he is home, but in the checkbook (my DH is currently sitting in kansas with his truck in a shop down there, repairs are spendy) <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> I am currently pregnant with #4 and wonder how much of her my DH will see considering how often he is gone, but he's gotta keep truckin' so we can get by.

 

[guestmama9907]

He doesn't own a truck. But I always thought you made a lot more money if you did. That is how the company brochures make it out, like you make twice as much! How often is your DH gone? I am sending you lots of support vibes! You are so strong to be pregnant and caring for 3 others all alone!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/coolshine.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="sunshine">

 

[MPJJJ]

Hello!<br><br><br>
My DH has been a trucker for over a year now. It has been hard. He was gone for 6 weeks straight during training, came home for one week (that's when Jed was concieved <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> ) and left again. Is Roehl the company that you are saying works 7 on, 7 off? DH worked for them, but now he is working for a small local company, and makes a LOT more money.<br><br>
The other poster was absolutely right about making more money as a company driver. Company drivers do not have to pay for fuel or repairs, and they are so expensive... if you want to own your own truck, the smartest thing would be to drive for a company for at least a couple years... see how often your trucks break down (a lot) and get some driving experiance.<br><br>
Things are harder for me with him being gone...... but the boys do okay. Jed is now 6 months old, and he definately knows his Daddy. DH is great about taking care of them when he is home. Before DH left for trucking school, he made the boys a video of him reading their favorite stories, and practicing counting. They call it the "Daddy movie", and it is their favorite, even now. It helped them stay connected. PM me if you want to talk.

 

[mamatoady]

my dh has been trucking for 7 years now. He's done dedicated-local (which is my preference) and long-haul. Right now he is all local, he leaves about 7am and is home anywhere from 6pm to 10pm with weekends and holidays off. We have no benefits whatsoever because he leases his truck through the company he works for. If your dh gets a good 2 years in over the road, usually that will suffice to get a local job, which usually requires experience. At which point he would better be able to get a job with the teamsters (which is another preference of mine--awesome benny's). Also, he can check into construction--they pay really well (usually) and he'll be home every night.<br><br>
good luck, it's tough....he may find the money's not worth it, but he can always tweek the job a little...maybe start his own business with a van (there is BIG MONEY for next day expediting and you don't have to keep a log book to my knowledge....basically he'd drive up to 12 hours to get something somewhere to someone and could charge a butt-load of money for it)<br><br>
Sarah

 

[MPJJJ]

I just wanted to add that he doesn't have to miss her growing up. It is all about the communication, staying connected, and having him spend quality time with her when he is home. I'm not talking about trips to the park... I'm talking about basic everyday things that he may be tempted to leave to you, since "you're more experianced and do it every day". He needs to get up early with the kids (My DH lets me sleep in), make them breakfast, scold them when they misbehave, bathe them, ect. So many trucking dads lose touch when they back off, and the kids don't respect them. And don't ever, ever resort to "just wait until your Dad gets home." It is so unfair to both DD and DH. When you have a problem, talk about it with DH, and come to a conclusion on how to deal with it. Then say to DD "Your dad and I talked about this, and we decided..."<br><br>
Roehl gave me a trucking life brouchire <sp?> which basically said never talk about problems and complaints with dh when he is gone. Don't listen to that... you should talk about the good AND the bad. Your DH may be gone and working hard hours, but so are you... and you should not have to deal with things by yourself for fear of upsetting DH. And your DH should know that he can talk to you when hes having a bad day too.

 

[allgirls]

My husband is a trucker...he is home 2 days a week but it's not 2 full days...we handle it pretty good. Ihave 3 girls....2 older ones help out and baby is 10 mos old. Hubby gets pretty upset about not seeing her everyday.<br><br>
We talk on the phone daily...I think that's important. We discuss things and make decisions on the phone however I never bring up any topic that could upset him while he is driving. If I was mad with him about anything I would wait until he got home.<br><br>
We spend one night while he is home in bed catching up, talking and making time for each other(that's been challenging since baby)<br><br>
I think find a great cell phone package and make it a priority to touch base every day.<br><br>
Also make the time for each other and the family while he's home. He has to do this and you have to be available.<br><br>
The hardest thing for me is when I have to go to weddings alone because he is on the road. My friend's wedding was a few weeks ago and he didn't make it back. But it was out of his control and I was so mad but I never let on because it wasn't his fault.<br><br>
The money is good however we still have to keep our belts pretty tight...we don't waste any but that is because I am still at home with our kids. We have decided for him to be gone so much it's better if I work.<br><br>
My baby is 10 mos old and loves her daddy and when he is home is all over him...so he's doing something right. He carries her around a lot and spends tons of time with her. He makes a point of doing something with the other kids while he's home as well.<br><br>
We do ok.<br><br>
It's challenging. Set it up right though and it can be rewarding as well.<br><br>
And you do get a lot of time to yourself. You can do what you want without worrying about clean house etc.<br><br>
I find I clean up on Fridays before hubby gets home, frees up time for him and us.<br><br>
He drives his own truck btw and leases for a company<br><br>
ETA~we should start a support thread for truckers wives...there are some very distinct problems being at home so much by ourselves.

 

[guestmama9907]

Thank you guys so much for all the advice and info, I want dh to read this thread <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> . We really should start our own support group.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I'm not talking about trips to the park... I'm talking about basic everyday things that he may be tempted to leave to you, since "you're more experianced and do it every day".</td>
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I am so glad you brought this up. We already have this problem! Like today, dd and I only saw him for 45 minutes, I try to get him to change her diaper in the morning when he gets home from work and then before he leaves for school in the afternoon. I don't think he gets why I want him to do this, i think maybe he thinks it is just to give me a break. I also encourage him to feed her breakfast. He gets upset when she cries when he changes her and wants me to do it because she will stop crying or says that he "can't" do it. I dont want dd growing up thinking that Dad is only for playing. I think later on they would both be dissapointed if that happened.

 

[magnoliablue]

I am late to this post, but I wanted to chime in... dp is also a trucker. It was pretty hard in the beginning to find time for each other, and yes, there were a few times when best laid plans went haywire(never let them tell you they guarantee they'll get you home on time..there are no guarantees in trucking, and he has missed quite a few weddings and family functions.)<br><br>
He got out of long haul and just started working for a local distributing company..it is a union position, with more money per hour and great benefits, though a lot of physical work loading and unloading.... but he is MUCH happier.<br><br>
He is home everynight between 4 and 7, has all holidays off, and if he only has one run in a day,still gets paid for 8 hours. It is definitely something to look for in your area. Hang in there, mama. Peace

 

[sahli29]

My dh got into trucking a year ago.MTI trained him for $500.I think it was a 2-3 week course(he stayed at a hotel near the school,the $500 covered that and some food) then 5-8 weeks student driving. He just got a new 2004 truck this last week,and seems happy with the job. I don't mind him being away 2-3 weeks at a time.Less chance of us getting on each others nerves.Unfortunately when he is home he does not want to do nothing around the house(repairs),and reluctantly plays with the kids.Hopefully with time those area's will improve.<br>
It is also very hard TTC on a truckers schedule!<br>
Sara

 

[MPJJJ]

Speak for yourself! My baby was concieved during DH's first week home from truck school!

 

[magnoliablue]

Well I'm back to bump this ol dusty thread and pout.<br><br>
DP's Teamsters job has cut back hours severly, which we knew would happen, its a beer distributor and things slow down here after the summer.<br><br>
So a guy at work knew a good friend who had a trucking company, and dp called them. They do almost all drop/hook local work with only a few long runs here and there.<br><br>
Last week the Teamster job made dp all of 120 bucks<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> He worked days off and nights with the other guy and made 1400. and didn't have to unload a thing. They also pay his wait time when getting loaded and unloaded..a rarity in trucking.<br><br>
So here he is, making huge money, and this guy sees his true abilities as a manager, and now wants to bring him in in that capacity, which would make him eat,sleep and drink this job.<br><br>
Sigh, so now I am a trucking widow once again. I hate the freakin Nextel phone, when it beeps I want to toss it out the window. I got spoiled with my 9 to 5's and now its more like 9 to whenever he gets here.<br><br>
He needs my support, because he is doing this for us, so we can have a good life. But I miss him.<br><br>
We do need a trucking widows support forum,lol.<br><br>
Thanks for letting me whine some.

 

[sahli29]

Karen,<br>
I am glad to read your dh found a good job.Sorry ofcourse to read that this means more time away,and that that makes you sad. My dh is away AND the income is low lately.A lot of sitting around waiting for loads.<br>
Anyway,hopefully after the initial time out your dh will be able to get home on a more regular schedule.<br><br>
I had a question on food expenses for the road.How can it be kept low? Dh just have a cooler in his truck,so freezer meals are out.I do pack for him when he is home,but it needs to be eaten within a few days. He did eat a lot of canned food for a while,but now he just buys meals.Last month his on the road credit card expense was $365. I told him I don't even want to open this months which was already up to $300 2 weeks ago. I just can't pay the bill.This week he had a pay of $189 after being home for thanksgiving weekend,and that left me paying just half the bills and no money for food for me and the kids. I told him that next time he comes home he HAS to find a way to not spend so much on the road. I don't want to make him suffer with blah food,but he has got to budget somehow. There must be a way.So how do your dh's keep the expenses down on the road?<br>
Sara<br>
ps mpjjj-lucky you!

 

[magnoliablue]

He has a mini fridge on the truck, but it doesn't hold much..or keep anything really cold. He also has a micro..he makes cup of soup alot and canned stuff. He is type2 Diabetic, so he really has to be careful of his diet..but he does eat more on the road than he should.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> We are trying to work this same thing out. Because he is home at some point every day, I make him salads he can take on the road, and he eats a lot of fruit.<br><br>
It's funny, that is what I miss the most..cooking for him. The kids are not foodies, they eat their kid friendly stuff and I never get to experiment, and dp is the only one who appreciates my cooking. This too shall pass, I keep telling myself..he is doing this for our future, so I have to be thankful I have a partner who cares enough to go the extra mile..for that I am very thankful.

 

[MamaOui]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bow.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bow"> mamas. I have three kids four and under and I have a hard time managing in the evenings (during the work week) if my dh wants have a much deserved night out. I came to this forum tonight to get some perspective and I certainly did when I read this thread.

 

[LadyWulf]

My DH is a trucker also. He was driving a truck for another owner operator and just recently "bought" our own truck. Couldn't have done it if it wasn't $0 down and $275 a week. i get his loads (online on the company site). He usually stays out 2-3 weeks at a time. He takes one of my dogs with him when he is out there. He has been driving OTR for 10 years now. His dad (passed nov 19th) did it for 47 years, his grandfather drove all his life, his baby brother drives and his middle brother is a diesel mechanic.<br><br>
It isn't always easy to be here alone with the kids. There is no way he could come off the road though because of all our bills and how far behind we are.

 

[allgirls]

I am so glad this thread is back...hubby has a new job and is on the road even more...it's so frustrating...I am so lonely...I know it's not his fault but it's still hard. There is much more money though and it really is reassuring that maybe we can get the debt paid off on the truck and then he can get a new one and when he's home no repairs.<br><br>
He has been gone since Saturday before last and will return tomorrow night for one night, gone again until just before Christmas. I need so much done that I need his help with...I may arrange for Sophia's first babysitter so I can get ready for Christmas. I need the kids out of the house for a bit so I can get it organized...naps are just not long enough to get everything done! There is a big eliptical trainer in the living room that has to go, I can't use it because of a bum knee and I go to the gym.<br><br>
guess this is just a vent...<br><br>
I miss my hubby

 

[magnoliablue]

<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> I know how you feel. So much. We were in Pa last night and they told him they needed him this morn. He gets there, they don't need him. I get excited, we make plans to go Christmas shopping then, Beepppp..they call back, they have two loads.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
He just got home, and leaves again in the am.<br><br>
I hate it,. but I can't whine to him..he is doing what he needs to do for us, and I should be grateful..but truth is, I'd rather struggle and have him around, then have all the money in the world.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">

 

[sahli29]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>LadyWulf</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My DH is a trucker also. He was driving a truck for another owner operator and just recently "bought" our own truck. Couldn't have done it if it wasn't $0 down and $275 a week.</div>
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Ladywulf-where did your dh get his truck? Was it new for that price? My dh has been looking,but I said to stay with the company truck till we pay off some debt,but he thinks being an owner-operator will be better. I think we would struggle either way.<br><br>
Atleast with the cold weather his food will keep for longer in the cooler,so we might be able to save there once he comes home to get some.His on the road charges for this month is already up to $400,and I can't afford to pay it when the bill comes!<br><br>
Dh has been gone since November 29th I think. He might take a paid vacation for the x-mas weekend,so we atleast have a little money coming in.Load-wise it is very slow for his company,and they said it will be like that through January.January is my worst bill month.<br><br>
It sure is hard to shop for the kids when they are with me,lol.Otherwise we are doing ok. I am still looking for a place to move where we can park his truck and keep farm animals. Do any of you live out in the country? We live in a condo right now.

 

[magnoliablue]

DP said the price he is paying for that truck is actually really cheap.<br><br>
DP doesn't bring his truck home, he keeps it at the yard. We are 45 minutes from the shop, so he commutes it.<br><br>
From reading everyone else's posts, I am pretty lucky. Even though he is really here to sleep and shower, at least he is here most nights, though Jan through March they have a bunch of loads coming, so he will probably spend most nights either hoteling it or sleeping in the truck<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
Have I said yet today that I hate trucking?<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
I know what you mean about it being hard to shop, etc. He just called me with a honey do list,lol. I also have my own list, and a million things to do, which is why I am currently on here avoiding it all...denial<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
DP says it is ideal as far as picking and choosing your runs, to be an owner/operator. As far as money is concerned, that really depends on who you run for, and how long you stay out for. It makes scheduling your life better, but doesn't always mean better money.