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Can natural family living values and the public/private school system co-exist?

  • Yes

    Votes: 9 64.3%
  • No

    Votes: 5 35.7%
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have been thinking about this a lot lately and thought that I would bounce it off all of you and see what you think.<br>
Dd is 4.5 and I have been on the fence regarding homeschooling her for years. I finally made the decision that I was going to homeschool and am now questioning myself again. I read a post from Teachma on another thread and she referred to her ds as a "street angel/home devil" -- that is my dd! I really think that she would like and do really well at school. And frankly, I do not know if I have it in me to homeschool (for 101 reasons, but that is another thread LOL).<br><br>
So here I am...a total believer in<br><br>
homebirth<br>
breastfeeding and natural led weaning<br>
family bed<br>
slinging - baby carrying<br>
organic whole foods for my family<br>
not vaccinating<br>
not circumcising<br>
non-violent, respectful discipline<br>
homeschooling<br>
natural holistic medicine with little or no western intervention<br>
pacifism, etc, etc, etc...<br>
and I am thinking about sending my kid to a public or private school away from home (as opposed to homeschooling). How does the away school lifestyle and the natural family living lifestyle possibly meet and what happens?<br><br>
Do any of you SAHMs send your kids to school? How does that work for your families? How do you keep you natural family values intact within such a mainstream environment?<br><br>
I would appreciate your insight. Please do not respond to my feelings on homeschooling or all the reason I need to or should homeschool ~ I know, I know~ or bash me for not wanting to hs ( you do not need to add to my guilt. I am really struggling with this). I am specifically looking for insight from mothers whose children do or plan to go to school.<br><br>
Thanks for your input!<br><br>
Love,<br>
Nicole
 

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What a great question! My ds is 7 yo and attended 2yrs. of preschool & kindergarten in a private school, before moving to a public school this year.<br><br>
Dane is now making choices based on how we have parented and the lifestyle choices we have made (nutrition, discipline, no video games, etc.). Example: Last year a mom called me because Dane was over at their home and the girls wanted to play video games. He told them that he couldn't because we don't believe in them and we don't have them at home. The mom was so impressed that my ds stood up for our belief system!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> Also, nutrition wise~Dane told another mom at school that she needed to pack a more nutritious lunch for her ds because all he ate was junk food. I think the mom was stunned.<br><br>
Kids are always going to have friends whose family parents differently~whether its religion, nutrition, discipline, etc. Its a teaching opportunity IMHO about differences in families and choices.<br><br>
Gotta go pick up my ds from school, but hope this helps.<br><br>
Warmly~<br><br>
Lisa:bf
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by lisamarie</i><br><b>Also, nutrition wise~Dane told another mom at school that she needed to pack a more nutritious lunch for her ds because all he ate was junk food. I think the mom was stunned.<br></b></td>
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Well, I would be.<br><br>
Have you talked to him about how rude that was to say to someone?<br><br>
On the original subject, Rain was an angel at school and a basket case at home the year she was in kindergarten. Since I brought her home, things evened out and she became almost an angel all the time... just food for thought. She didn't feel safe away from home so she didn't "act out", but instead saved it all for home, where she did feel safe.<br><br>
Dar
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by Dar</i><br><b>Well, I would be.<br><br>
Have you talked to him about how rude that was to say to someone?<br>
Dar</b></td>
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Sometimes the truth is hard to hear. I think that regardless of schooling, children remain brutally honest for many years. I think that if the child's lunches were full of junk, it is cool that he said something. It may be something that the mother needed to hear and what parent would say that? Coming from an adult, it would be rude! Hopefully, he made the mom think and perhaps pack carrots instead of cheetos. Just some food for thought...LOL No pun intended! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
That is so off topic and I do not want to start on a tangent, I really want to get mpre feedback on the schooling topic.<br><br>
One other thing Dar, did your dd go to preschool? Did she like it and do well? And then freak out over an all day program? Was that your primary reason for hsing? Were you not convinced about kindergarten to begin with? In other words, was hsing always in the back of your mind and this gave you a reason to have to do it?<br><br>
Thanks for your insight! It get me thinking! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Love,<br>
Nicole
 

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Dar~<br><br>
Obviously my ds felt comfortable and safe enough around this mom that we have known for years to make this suggestion and actually she appreciated the comment he made and agreed with him. Please, lets remain on the OT and if you wish to discuss this further, I would welcome you to pm me and we can talk about it.<br><br>
kanpope~<br><br>
I think its about balance, communication and teaching our kids (whether its at home or at school) about other families choices and lifestyles.<br><br>
Best of Luck~<br><br>
Lisa:bf
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by kanpope</i><br><b><br>
One other thing Dar, did your dd go to preschool? Did she like it and do well? And then freak out over an all day program? Was that your primary reason for hsing? Were you not convinced about kindergarten to begin with? In other words, was hsing always in the back of your mind and this gave you a reason to have to do it?<br></b></td>
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I was a college student when Rain was little. I took classes by correspondance when she was tiny, then found a wonderful woman who had done home child care for years and then retired but missed the babies to watch her when she was 18 months old, for 2 classes. When she was 2 she started one morning a week at a child care center and when she was 2 1/2 "Grandma Rose" had some health problems and she started 3 mornings a week at childcare... it gradually increased as I ran out of classes I could do by mail and also had to do practicums, although I never left her for study-time, just actual class time. It was a full-day thing the last semester, when she was 4. She did okay there, I guess - she remembers it as a great fun place (it was a high quality campus-based enter with a 2 yr waiting list, absolutely the best place I could dream of) but I remember her not wanting me to leave her, and by the end of each semester she was pretty ragged. From what I've heard from other parents whose children are in childcare, it seemed pretty typical - she never wanted to go home when I picked her up, either.<br><br>
We never found a kindergarten program that was as good for her, and that might be part of it, but I think mostly it was just too long. It was full-day, with maybe an hour total of before and after school care. And she wasn't miserable all the time, and she had friends, and the stuff she complained about mostly seemed pretty typical, although some of it seemed pretty unacceptable, like the 2nd grade boy who took a butter knife to school and told the younger kids her had it and was going to cut them, or her not being allowed to go to the bathroom without a partner so she wet her pants. But still, at school she was the smartest, the best, the wonderful, and at home she was trying to bite me and spitting on me, because 2 years ago I bought the wrong kind of peanut butter for her lunch - or something similar, she'd get upset over stuff that was clearly not what was really upsetting her.<br><br>
We'd known people who were homeschooling since she was little, but I'm a single mom with no outside sources of income, so it never seemed possible. By the end of that year, though, I had decided to quit my job and make it work somehow... and I did, and it was truly the right decision for us. It was pretty scary at the time, though, we were living in the bay area and I'd saved a little from my job, but really had no idea how I'd be paying rent.<br><br>
I think a play-based or democratic education program for 10 hours a week would have been fine - the semester that she went to childcare one morning a week she thoroughly loved it, without reservation. I still wish there was some sort of drop-in and drop-off center available for homeschooled kids. I can't imagine having her in school, though.<br><br>
Dar
 

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DS goes to a private montessori school. I think he's doing well, he loves his class, his teachers and is learning by leaps and bounds. They think he'll be reading by the end of the year <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"> He does bounce off the walls once he's home though, but I attribute that to the fact that he works hard in school, and learns instead of running and playing :LOL
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;"><i>Originally posted by LuvMy2Kidz</i><br><b>DS goes to a private montessori school.</b></td>
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How old is your ds?<br><br>
Well, I enrolled dd is "pre-K" today. THe school looks good and the director was very nice. The only thing that I was not thrilled about, was the smell. It was musty. But I am so olfactory sensitive and it is even worse when I am pg. So, it may have just been me.<br><br>
The school is from 9 - 4 (geared towards working parents and kids with older siblings that need to be picked up too) but I am going to pick her up at 2:00pm. One thing that I really like is that they have an open door policy. Parents and siblings can drop in any time and just hang out for as long as they like. While, I was there, a family came by. It was just like a family home. Nice!<br><br>
Anyway, that's what's up with that. Thanks for all your input. Maybe I'll even get more! :LOL<br><br>
Love,<br>
Nicole
 

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Oh, yes, your values from home will shine through at school, regardless of the values you hold and regardless of the school you choose. Those values may not be the same as the ones that your child learns about at the school, and you may have some times when you wonder whose values are predominating in your child's life, though. Your child may even choose to follow a different path than the one that you think is best. You are your child's most important teacher, regardless of whether your child is in school or at home.
 

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He turned 4 in June, they start at age 3, but his name didn't come up on the waiting list. I LOVE the montessori method of teaching b/c they don't force the kids to learn things they aren't ready to learn, it's "almost" like structured play.
 

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I am in a similar situation in that I was considering homeschooling and hold many of the same values as listed in your original post, kanpope... And I chose to send my 3yo ds to preschool two mornings a week. I feel lucky though, to have a small parent cooperative school in my community. It's like cooperative homeschooling! And I LOVE the preschool teacher. They have 8 kids tops at a time, and that is important because my guy would be overwhelmed by a large class.<br><br>
For us I feel it is good for ds to get positive social interaction away from me (which he never had before). Some days I feel sooo guilty for leaving when he doesn't want me to ( I stayed all morning with him a few times until I knew he was comfortable there), but he always comes home happy.
 

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My daughter is 6yrs and we practice natural and respectful parenting, child-led weaning, family bed, organic semi-vegetarian, milk-free, natural medicine....though we do watch tv, eat sweets sometimes, and play video games sometimes. I didn't send my daughter to preschool, she stayed home with me until she started kindergarten at a small public school a few blocks away (there is a good thread here about preschool and whether or not it is necessary). I struggled with a strong desire to homeschool but my daughter's desire to go to school along with a look at our struggling bank account (I work PT now) made us choose otherwise. She's now in 1st grade and loves it. Even though her school is more traditional than I would have liked, I can see that it is a good environment for her in many ways. Not only is she learning academically, she is learning how to interact in a social World which I feel is invaluable. She is influenced by other children in some ways (like fashion, etc.), which doesn't bother me too much, but home is still her greatest influence on what matters most. I can see that I have provided her with a strong foundation. I try to parent with thoughtful logic rather than simply "following the herd". Even though she is different in some ways (like eating a healthy milk-free meat-free often-organic home lunch instead of cafeteria food) she is well-loved by her classmates. If anything, SHE influences THEM the most since she is one of the oldest in her class, she is a leader/motherly type of person, and she feels strongly about the way she is.
 
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