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Discussion Starter #1
What are the 'rules' here? Cuz I'm not quite understanding. We recently moved into an apartment complex. James had a Fisher Price ride on truck...like a Cozy Coupe only a truck, kwim? Well he LOVES the truck...so we brought it with. We did have it stored under the stairs where people store grills and such and the neighbor kids got into it...so we bought a bike chain and now have it locked up.<br><br>
I overheard our neighbor outside the other day (our windows were open, our windows face the 'back' area where he was grilling...his 2 kids were outside with him) and he made the comment to his wife/girlfriend (not sure if they are married or not) about how horrible it was of us to bring such a neat toy and then lock it up like that, it just upset their kids.<br><br>
Are they right? Should I allow everyone to play with it? I worry about it getting broken (however unlikely, it's 8 or 9 years old, has been through 3 kids with very little damage) and I worry about them getting hurt while using it and ME getting blamed.<br><br>
Second deal, I took James on a walk with the stroller yesterday, he fell asleep while on the walk so of course I didn't put the stroller back in the van, I parked it out of the way next to the door with every intention of putting it back when DS woke up. DH came home from work and I asked him to please put the stroller in the van (DS was still asleep). He went down to do it and came back upstairs and said it was gone. He searched the entire complex before finally taking off in the van to find it. He found it across the street and down another street in a church parking lot...full of toys that did not belong to my son. DH loaded the toys and the stroller into the van and drives home. He pulls the toys out and was going to dump them by our building. He ran into that same neighbor who promply says "Hey! Those are my daughters toys! What are YOU doing with them?!" DH says "I found them, along with MY stroller half a block away in the church parking lot. Did your kids take my stroller?" and the man apologizes and DH asks him to please watch his children so they are not walking off with our stuff...especially so far away as our stuff could get damaged, stolen for good, or whatever...he says "My kids are my business" (FTR, his kids are 4 and 2, they had to cross a VERY busy street and walk nearly half a block to get to this church parking lot.) and DH says "Thats fine, but my stuff is my business. If I come out again and things are missing I won't go searching for it, I'll just call the police." and he gets all pissy (understandable, DH was getting very annoyed, and kinda being a butt).<br><br>
Anyway, if you've read this far...<br><br>
What are the rules here? I realize we need to be more careful about locking our stuff up, but we are wanting to get a grill so we can cook out this summer. I don't like having to lock his stuff up. I don't like having the neighbors call us mean people because we won't let their kid play with my son's stuff...is that so wrong?
 

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i would keep stuff that i didn't want others to use in my apartment. i don't think it is cool for them to use it, but it sounds like they don't mind.
 

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I agree with the PP, as inconvenient as it is, keep it in your apartment. I'm always getting packages stolen from the mailroom. I've never put anything outside of my apartment, I even get worried leaving my umbrella in the hall when it rains!
 

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I think people should be respectful of your property. If they want to borrow something they should ask. Otherwise leave the stuuff alone- they know it isn't theirs and you shouldn't have to hoard your things just so others will leave them alone.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
I don't mind keeping the stroller put up...don't wanna leave it in the rain anyway. It's the truck, there is no way we can keep it up here, it's pretty big. We already have his bike and his balls up here...thats bad enough.<br><br>
It's not a big deal to keep it locked up, not like I let DS play alone anyway so I have to go down anyway. I just hate the comments that we're the 'mean' neighbors since we lock his truck up.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Steady101</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7890244"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Keep it in your apartment or lock it up. I think it would be only a matter of time in this world before it disappeared.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/yeahthat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="yeah that">:<br><br>
The guy who commented on it was a bit self-entitled, though. You don't need to share, and he has no right to expect that you will.
 

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It sounds like your neighbours are, um, not very enlightened people <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I'm being polite.<br><br>
The stroller thing is very weird... I would *hope* that somebody (mom?) had walked there with the children and that they were all inside the church when your DH found the stroller? Seriously, a 4 year old and a 2 year old wandering around by themselves? If they actually do then I think you're going to have big problems with these neighbours.<br><br>
As for the toy car... I guess it depends what is "typical" for that complex. I have friends who live in a co-op where there is a central playground area and a lot of "big toys" like that are left out for all the kids to play with, so I can see how in that sort of situation people would think it was weird for you to lock up yours. BUT, in most apartments I don't think that is typical. I don't think it's rude for you to lock it outside, just like you would a bicycle. Especially considering that obviously anything that isn't locked up seems to disappear.
 

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I think it's perfectly fine to store it with the BBQs and not allow others to use it. I disagree that you should have to store it in your apartment. Just like I wouldn't allow my child to take a toy from someone's yard, it's wrong to use someone's toy that is so obviously stored away in a proper way.<br><br>
My Dd always wanted to pick all the flowers she saw in everyone's lawn. There they were, taunting her, but that doesn't mean they should be stored where she can't see them.
 

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I think it's perfectly fine to keep it locked up where there seems to be a space for outside storage. After all, if you're renting there, and everyone is able to store their stuff there, you're essentially paying for the space! The bike lock seems very smart to me.<br><br>
Perhaps as you get settled, and get to know more people, your son will be playing outside one day and can share with kids who happen to be outside, and want to play with him. There's nothing at all wrong with kids being aware that there is a time and place (time- when the owner is ready, and place- wherever the owner knows what's going on) to use another person's stuff. And in the meantime, you can just be yourself and everyone else will either like it or lump it.<br><br>
Clara
 

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Discussion Starter #11
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Laggie</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7890298"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">The stroller thing is very weird... I would *hope* that somebody (mom?) had walked there with the children and that they were all inside the church when your DH found the stroller? Seriously, a 4 year old and a 2 year old wandering around by themselves? If they actually do then I think you're going to have big problems with these neighbours.</div>
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No church last night...the kids were running around the other side of the complex...well the 4 y/o was, the boy was no where to be seen. It's pretty common, the kids roam all over with little to no supervision, I've watched the 4 y/o narrowly miss getting hit by a car in the parking lot a few times...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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I would definitely lock up the kiddie car - they have no business playing with stuff that isn't theirs without permission.... Of course, I'm the sort that would have dumped the toys out of the stroller where found it and not taken them home with me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: I'd also keep the stroller out of their reach.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">It's pretty common, the kids roam all over with little to no supervision, I've watched the 4 y/o narrowly miss getting hit by a car in the parking lot a few times...</td>
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Scary. My psychic powers are telling me that you're going to have problems with these people. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Seriously, though, you've just moved in and already you've had two different problems with them? I'd be trying to make friends with somebody ELSE in the building, asap!
 

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Def. lock up your stuff. Where are you leaving it, inside the building or outside? Is it a designated storage area? We have had issues in our complex (only 4 families) because one family has older kids and her kids leave their bikes in the entry & it presents a bit of a hazard for the kids. We had an agreement that 1 stroller / family could be left their and everytihng else has to be in your apartment. We allowed the 2 bikes to stay for teh sake of peace, but the boys have been told to put them in one area against the wall so they are not in the way of the kids. My neighbor did have a cozy car down there at one point and she was asked to take it up because the entry was too crowded.<br><br>
Anyway that is a long winded way of saying if it's a public storage area (everyone stashes stuff / bikes / etc there) you have every right to lock it (as long as you are locking it on something safe which I assume you are) but maybe teh resentment is if it is not really a storage area and they think you are extending your apartment by taking up space downstairs?
 

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Rach~ with all due respect mama, she mentioned in her post about the storage area. Just read her post over <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Peace.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Dmitrizmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7890411"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would definitely lock up the kiddie car - they have no business playing with stuff that isn't theirs without permission.... Of course, I'm the sort that would have dumped the toys out of the stroller where found it and not taken them home with me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: I'd also keep the stroller out of their reach.</div>
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Yup that sounds like what I would do too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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i would say, that if you don't want it stolen,touched, or played with by anyone else..keep it locked up inside your house <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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Oh I would lock it up just like you are doing. I use to live in a trailer park and our toys walked off regularly, even after we put up a fence. One day my sons bubble mower was gone and I found it two doors down. A child ran out when I took it and said it was hers. I told her that I was pretty sure it was ours, but if I were wrong, just have her mom or dad come talk to me and I would give it right back. I pointed out our house to her. No one came. After that, I used a permanet marker to put our last name on every outside toy we owned.<br><br>
One day we came back from eating dinner out and the whole darn trailer park was in our yard......a child had been missing and everyone looking for him for two hours. He was in our yard, inside the little tykes castle, asleep. AFter that I padlocked the gate because we also had a pool in our yard. Only about two and half feet deep, but enough to drown in without adult supervision.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Potty Diva</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7890753"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Rach~ with all due respect mama, she mentioned in her post about the storage area. Just read her post over <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> Peace.</div>
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Yeah, I saw that she at first had it under the stairs where other people store stuff, then she mentioned locking it. However that doesn't tell me how big the area is under teh stairs, what it's usually used for, how many families share teh area, where other kids bikes or stored, even if the stairs are outside or inside. Some complexes seem okay with people leaving their stuff in certain areas even though they aren't "official" and some have rules (implied or otherwise). The OP asked what the "rules" were and I was only trying to clarify the situation. On our street there are 8 identical apartment complexes, adn tehy all have different "rules" as to what can be stored where, how much space one family can take in teh public area, where you can lock stuff up, if there is hieachy of people / stuff / priorities, etc.<br><br>
I was just trying to help the OP.<br><br>
Peace <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
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