[justlizzy]

I ended up calling the office yesterday -- basically he's a one-man-show and they talked up his relationship with the L&D nurses. Still not 100% satisfied, and I wish I had thought of this way back when, but my previous practice is full for Aug/Sept so I'm stuck unless I want to try and see if the other group practice has space.

He said I needed to cap it at 25lbs. But they base that on pre-pregnancy BMI, and lots of literature shows BMI to be a load of crock, sp I'm not sure I'm convinced that the weight gain is as big of a deal as he's making it out to be. I can't find any evidence supporting the claim aside from the whole increased pregnancy weight gain *may* result in a larger baby. He wants to do a measuring U/S two to three weeks before the EDD, but I know those are inaccurate -- they did one with DS, but they were predicting he'd be 10lbs, and he was under 9... My mom VBACed the sister under me with a midwife and she gained 60... But, I'm going to try to be a good patient and have started a sugar elimination diet today and downloaded an app to help me track my sugar and protein counts. I'd be lying if I didn't say I'm hoping that I prove him wrong about it being a problem and show a little weight loss next month, not 10lbs or anything, but enough make him uncomfortable in his previous assessment :mischief

 

[FyerFly]

@justlizzy interesting - so does the comment about having a good relationship with L&D nurses mean that they will take care of you if you come in while he's with another patient, if needed? I assume if you went to the hospital in labor and he wasn't there, someone would attend you, right? Just might not be someone you were familiar with? I really hope it will be a non-issue for you. I guess my question would be, knowing that you like his bedside manner, is it worth just sticking with him and hoping for the best, given that if you were to transfer care to a group practice, you might end up in a similar scenario anyway (having an OB attend your birth that you're not as familiar with, due to luck of the draw?) Are you happy with your care otherwise?

Do you mind sharing the app you downloaded?? I'm keeping track of protein using paper and pen, and will probably stick with that (esp. because my papers are on the fridge, and its definitely a motivating factor to see them every time I go for something to eat!), but it would be cool to experiment with an app too.

I'm on the fence about care providers and scare tactics around weight gain during pregnancy. My former midwife was over the top - she gave me the "big baby" talk the appointment after my 20w anatomy scan and was basically threatening me with the idea of "an 11 or 12-pound baby" that would risk me out of the birth center (he was under 8 lbs). My current midwife is very hands-off and not at all concerned about my scale numbers - she's much more intuitive/looking at me and determining that I look and sound healthy and am making healthy choices. I think a little dose of motivation can be a good thing (and I'm definitely guilty of indulgences this time around), but being pregnant can also come with many challenges, and I don't like the thought of being constantly stressed about what and how much I'm eating. I hope your plan works

 

[FyerFly]

Oh and did you ever take the GD test? I feel like a negative result could be a point in column "lets not stress out about the number on the scale so much"

 

[justlizzy]

Basically it comes down to him knowing L&D really well and they'll keep him in the loop during my labor -- and he's apparently had three and four births happen simultaneously before. So we'll see. DH said he's not confidant that the other group practice would be a good fit since everyone we know who was with them had a repeat C, and we'll just have to really advocate and try to mitigate things on our end. Which means back to nightly walks (we skipped last night, oops), me doing some pregnancy workouts on youtube and going for a low-glycemic/whole food diet. I wasn't 100% perfect yesterday (I caved and had a serving of Haribo happy cola gummis at work because I was out of raw veggies), but I'm going to take it one day at a time.

My GD test isn't until June 14th, if I had already done it and if my levels were high but not GD level I could see the concern, but since we haven't had it I'm a little confused. I think it does come down to the inaccurate idea of high weight gain = big baby. From my crazy googling since Tuesday it appears that based on my pre-pregnancy BMI I *should* be ok gaining up to 35lbs for a VBAC. I guess I'll bring it up at my June appointment and ask him to provide me with the medical research backing up his wanting me to only gain 25? Maybe I can compromise and we can agree on 30?

I'm using the MyFitnessPal app -- I used the site for weight loss years ago, and their database of foods is one of the best I've found. I need to go in and adjust my daily goals for protein and everything. If you want to look me up my user over there is bayoucitygirl

 

[FyerFly]

Got it. Seems like if its worked well in the past (him having experience attending multiple laboring/birthing women at once) then it should probably be fine no matter what. I think taking it one day at a time sounds like a great plan - and occasional caving will probably make the rest of the time more manageable. Though from my experience, literally the only way for me to get rid of sugar cravings is to completely cut it out. Which is SO hard. I totally just had a peanut butter and jelly tortilla. Delicious.

Nightly walks sound awesome!! I'm pretty active during the day - walk about a mile each way to and from work on the days I go, walks with DS on days I don't, etc. - but nightly walks sounds like a great addition that I know our DS would love too. Especially as it starts getting unbearably hot during the day and somewhat more reasonable in the evenings...

I love the idea of asking for research to back up his justification about the weight gain number. I think too often we (myself included) just go along with what medical professionals say because they have an air of authority (and have some power), but they are people too, with very particular training and experience. I will say though, I'm even skeptical of academic literature these days, because it's all so singular (small sample sizes, certain assumptions built into studies, etc.) that its next to impossible to take results as "truths." But I think thats what a lot of people (including medical professionals themselves!) do.

I'm going to check out MyFitnessPal!!

 

[Turner58800]

Our BIG appointment is tomorrow!! Ultrasound scheduled at 2:30 and midwife appointment to follow. We ARE planning on finding out the gender. We have having a small get together with parent's and my grandparents, who all live in town tomorrow evening for dessert and to share the news! DH wants to find out in the appointment, I kind of want to wait and find out with everyone else.... Any ideas on how to share?? DH has felt the baby a couple of times, but he is rarely patient enough to just wait for movement and I can't make baby move on command So this appointment makes it more "real" to him. It feels like we are finding out so late this time (22 weeks) that it is hard to believe we are over halfway there already!!

 

[justlizzy]

@Turner58800 -- what if your DH finds out and go get a gender reveal cake made with the appropriate icing color in the middle for you to cut into when you're with family?

 

[Turner58800]

@Turner58800 -- what if your DH finds out and go get a gender reveal cake made with the appropriate icing color in the middle for you to cut into when you're with family?

Our babysitter makes cakes/cupcakes and that was one of our first thoughts, but I didn't think a couple hours was enough time to have one made! He even considered having some of each made with a symbol on the box indicating which was which, etc. I thought that sounded like a lot of work! Plus my mom is GF so I would feel bad about excluding her :/

 

[FyerFly]

I've seen a few friends do a thing where you fill a helium balloon with confetti of either color - your DH could go get 2 balloons, one of each color (time permitting, ha!). Or to involve your DS, maybe a simple handwritten sign he could reveal (either "I'm getting a baby brother or sister")?

 

[justlizzy]

Our babysitter makes cakes/cupcakes and that was one of our first thoughts, but I didn't think a couple hours was enough time to have one made! He even considered having some of each made with a symbol on the box indicating which was which, etc. I thought that sounded like a lot of work! Plus my mom is GF so I would feel bad about excluding her :/

@Turner58800 if she prebakes it and just has to color the reveal frosting it should be pretty quick!