April Mama's Oct 3-20th

I don't like the idea of them asking for a paper that says they can drug test you whenever they like. I just don't approve of people always assuming the worst of others. I think I would refuse to sign it just on the principal of the thing. Of course I just had a huge blow out fight with a Dr. at the practice I use about what testing I would allow them to do. I went to the lab yesterday to have my blood work done, but I wanted to know what they were testing for the woman at the lab seemed shocked that no one had even bothered to explain to me what the tests were. Turns out some of the tests require paperwork on my part to even allow the Dr to order them. I was never even consulted about it. I had already refused the HIV test because I have heard so many horor stories about false positive tests. Besides I am not exactly in a high risk category for HIV. But now I am really upset with my midwife because she never even mentioned some of this lab work. Plus I just found out that my pap smear sample will also be tested for venereal diseases with out my say so. It just makes me so mad I could scream. I hate the way the state assumes that if a woman is pregnant she must be promiscuos. I mean come on I am a married woman and a devoted mother I'm not out sleeping with every guy in town, and I don't appreciate being treated this way. Anyways so when the lab tech told me about some of the tests I refused to have them and went back to the office to discuss it with some one. Well of course my midwife wasn't available, infact none of the midwives were available and I got stuck talking with some holier than thou Ob. He told me I had to have these tests done because the state required them. When that didn't fly with me he said "Every one does them." Now I'm sorry but when I was a kid and said to my mom, "But everyone else is doing it." She would promptly look at me and say "Well if everyone else jumped off a cliff would you?" I hated that answere, but I soon came to realize that the "everyone else is doing it" argument is really pretty lame. So I explained to the Dr in no uncertain terms that I didn't care what every one else did I am an individual woman and I demand respect. He tried the same arguments a few more times and threw in the old "if you don't do it your baby will be harmed and your pregnancy wont go right," and all the other terror techniques Drs like to use to get there way. When he finally figured out he wasn't going to change my mind he refused to order the few lab tests I was willing to get and told me I had better call and discuss it with my midwife. I have yet to be able to get through to her, but I have been so stressed out from my run in with him. I keep thinking of all these great things I should have said to him, and how he just makes me so furious. I hardly got any sleep last night I was so wound up. I've been drinking tea and trying to relax all day cause I know this kind of stress is bad for the baby. I guess I just didn't think I would have to start fighting this early in the pregnancy. I didn't figure I would have this much trouble until I checked into the hospital and refused blood tests and IV's. Urgh...Sorry about all that but I really needed to vent, and I figured you ladies would understand.

I just don't believe I am the only woman who refuses prenatal blood work. I'm not refusing it all I just won't let them do a few that I consider either ridiculous or down right insulting. So I guess I was wondering how many of you have refused tests your Dr's/midwives wanted you to get, and which ones?

I refused
Blood typing (I already know my blood type from my last pregnancy)
Hep B and Hep C tests (I know I don't have these, and the false positive rate is just to high for my comfort)
Rubella immunity (at this point it really doesn't make much difference, as there is not much they could do if I am not immune, but I was still immune two years ago)
And Syphilis testing (again I know I don't have it, and I find this one rather insulting)

I know they will want to do these same tests again when I check into the hospital, but I will refuse them again. I just don't see any good reason to have these tests done. I know I am running the risk of getting myself refused by this practice, but I am prepared to find a different care provider if my feelings and needs mean so little to this one. I really wanted to use this midwife because she delivered my son and I really like her, but I am now wondering if our philosiphies have driffted too far apart. : Being pregnant is harder than I remmebered.

Oh Shannon! Im so sorry you had such a rough day yesterday! Seems liek we had the same day! I was yelling (well not really yelling but being difficult) to the nurses in there. I told them that I will not be getting anymore blood work done. ( the HIV etc) Because they would of had all that stuff on file from when i was pregnant in April. I told her if she would think about it I would still be pregnant right now if i hadnt had a m/c I would be about 34 weeks or so. So I will not take them test again etc. I dont have a problem taking the HIV test because when dh was in the Army he got sent to Haiti when all that crap was going on over there. He was a police officer in the army. The Aids rate over there is like 95% . I wasnt concerend he had cheated on me or whatever. But he was in the prisons and where ever where these people would just beat each other and drop their pants and go whereever He had also delivered a baby while over there for a local. Thats why I dont mind the test. Just a drop of blood from breaking up a fight or cleaning dead bodies off the street or from the lady who had the baby could of passed it on to him. Mind you he wore latex gloves everywhere you cant be to sure ya know. But everything else I said no to. I think drs get the look of the deer in headlights when you Second guess them because we arent suppose to know anything in their minds! Stick your ground.
I thikn its stupid to get the other tests like Herpies or whatever other STD they test for. I have had no history of it. For crying out loud dh is the only man i have been with we have been married 10 years and together over 11. I think im ok. lol. I know its very frustrating. We will get through it.

Wow, you guys have had some tough doctors' appts! I dumped the OB practice I saw for my first preg, because they demanded $800 worth of lab work and told me I couldn't refuse STD tests and were really pushy about the AFP/triple screen. Hello, it gives a false negative half the time, and the only way to check it is to have amnio!

So this Monday I met a new doc, and it turns out that he is openly pro-homebirth, in our state where direct entry midwifery is illegal, and CNMs don't do homebirth. (First birth was DEM homebirth) He asked about blood work, and I said I had brought my hemoglobin, hematocrit, and rubella titer with me. He asked if we wanted further testing, and I told him dh and I were virgins when we married and monogamous ever since, and he said Oh, well, you don't need STD screening. And I bet I don't even have to offer you the AFP/triple screen! He was *awesome* And he does not insist on the regular schedule of visits, because he trusts that a woman can do most of it herself. IE I have pee strips, and blood pressure cuff, and a fetascope. Not to mention a scale and a tape measure. He asked *me* when *I* wanted to come back, and I said I wanted to make sure me blood volume expanded adequately . So he said I was welcome to come back at 28wks for a blood draw, and anytime before that if I had any concerns. I'm sure I'll go back sooner, at least so DS can hear the heartbeat once early on

It was just so cool to be with a HCP who didn't think that my baby needed to be protected from me!

If any of you are in northern Missouri or southern Iowa and want a referral, just holler

Wow its sounds like I'm not the only one who has had a rough time with prenatal testing. I guess I just thought I could get around all of this by using a midwife. I never thought about the fact that she still works in a rather main stream office. I just can't stand that the state requires these tests from every pregnant woman. And they require that you get these tests twice. It just seems so silly. I also feel a little put out that my midwife never even discussed this with me. I thought she knew me and respected me more than that. I still plan on talking with her about it, but it doesn't look like I will get to do that until monday at least. Their office closes early on Fridays, and there is no message service except for emergency cases. I guess I wouldn't mind so much if it didn't make me feel like just some number on a file. I mean it seems like they should treat each woman as an individual and each pregnancy as unique but obviously they don't.

Christymama: I know how you feel. All of my blood work is on file with Carter blood care because I just donated blood a few months before I got pregnant. They don't trust anyone but themselves, and in their minds you may have done something to expose yourself to these things with in the past month or two. It is really quite rediculous.

Oh I almost forgot I also turned down the Cystic Fybrosis test. No one could explain to me why I needed it or what they would do if it came back positive, and that just made me really uncomfortable. Not to mention it is a really new test, and no one is real certian of its accuracy. I just don't want to put myself in a position where I wind up worried over nothing you know? The Dr didn't seem real stressed about it, but he did point out several times that I just don't know wether or not I carry the gene. I am begining to believe that Drs. really do see pregnancy as an illness that needs to be treated and birth as a surgical procedure. You know he actually had the nerve to tell me that women who chose not to have the tests and birth at home would "wind up in the emergency room crashing because they didn't get proper care from a doctor during their pregnancy." I just wish I could have remmebered some of the statistics for the number of women who have birth complications at home with a midwife vs the number who have complications in a Drs care. I know the numbers for the Drs are much higher. I really have to stop letting this stuff get me so worked up. I guess I am more high strung than I thought I was.

SHANNON~ I havent heard about that cystic fybrosis test. They havent said anything to me about it yet. Sounds like anouther test I may refuse! What is it for to check for cysts in there? If you dont have a history of it then why would they test doesnt make sence does it? These days they are testing just to test i think anythign to get more money from the Insurance ya know. :

Shannon,

You're not high strung, you're just pregnant

Not to get down on you *at all*, but I think we tend to call ourselves high-strung, or upped on preg hormones, or whatever, when we are having perfectly normal reactions to poor and dehumanizing care.

I was at my old OB for a pap smear, dodging a prenatal exam (they couldn't understand why I wouldn't have it there), maybe two weeks before my prenatal with Dr. Wonderful, and I was a completely different person. I found it very frustrating to be so affected, but really the OB practice was out of line and disrespectful, and we *should* be uncomfortable, angry, and frustrated about that. I'm trying to think if there is a parallel in any other "medical" situation where we would permit this kind of patronizing treatment. It also sucks that the OB is way more respectful when my dh is with me.

christymama, cystic fibrosis is a genetic disease that affects mostly the pulmonary system. My brother had a close friend going through school who has this disease- it usually requires tons of medical treatment throughout the person's life, and while the medical community is making great progress with treatments, it remains incurable. The life expectancy for someone who has this used to be around 18, but I believe it is now in the 30s. If a father and mother are both carriers of the gene, there is a 25% chance (or 1 in 4) the baby will have cystic fibrosis.

I did all of the genetic testing with my son, though I was pretty certain a positive result wouldn't cause me to terminate the pregnancy. As a teacher, I see children with all sorts of needs and differences, and I just feel that as a mom, the more research I can do and the more prepared I can be before the birth of a child with special needs, the better off my whole family will be. I would be less comfortable if I were "thrown into" a situation in which my child had serious medical needs and I didn't know about it until the minute he was born- especially if I possibly could have learned about it while pregnant, spent some time getting to know some people who maybe had the same issues, learned about resources in my community to help me deal with it, etc. With this babe, I did some blood tests (didn't even ask what they were for!) and an ultrasound at 11-13 weeks for Downs. It's apparently a new kind of test in which they measure the thickness of the nape of the neck to determine how much fluid is in there. The more fluid, the higher the risk.

I am soooo tired today! Dh and I celebrated our 5th anniversary at the REM concert in Madison Square Garden last night. My parents babysat for ds. We got home at 12:45 am! I felt really old because of how tired I was, but we had a GREAT time! Hope you're all having a good weekend.

that does sound like a horrible disease!
Congrats on your 5 year wedding anniv. My dh and I will have our 10 year one in Nov. We have grown up so much together! Married at 18 and 19 I wouldnt change that for the world. I have done all the testing with my other two babies. I will more then likely get the one for spina Because They can now do surgery while still pregnant to fix the problem before birth! I thought that was neat.
we went to the fair last night. It was so fun The girls had a blast. Hayley (2 ) loved to ride on the airplanes. it was a cute little kiddie ride that went up in the air and around. It was so cute!! I was upset to find they didnt have funnel cakes But i did get my carmel apple and the girls got some cotton candy! We walked ot the parade that morning too. About 5 blocks and then sat and was fried for about 45 min when we left early because we were all just so hot. I cant believe the amount of sun i got in that time : Then we walked to the fair that night! Needless to say when i woke up this morning my legs were hurting from all the walking because I havent been able to really do much. until now.
I know this is going to be to much info. BUT dh and i had sex for the first time in months because of a risk of miscarriage. So anyhow last night We did but it wasnt like we "put it all the way in" just enough to make us both have fun! But anyhow right afterwards ti go to the potty and there is pink blood. not like gushing or anything just like streaks. I am thinking that maybe we busted some of the vains in there because it had been so long. But i am not having any cramping or anything like that and this morning it was gone. So Do you think its from the sex and the veins? I know way to much info. : I hope you are all well. See ya sooon mama's

OK, 3rd times a charm right!!!!! I keep losing my post for different reasons

Hi there!!!! I wanted to introduce myself over here since my due date is officially 4/30, although I don't really agree with it, I think it is more in early May....but...Ds was early, so this babe will probably be an April baby anyway...Plus it is a great excuse to hang out with 2 groups of preggo mammas!!!!!!
I am jsut beginning to feel better (thankfully) it is nice not to live on the couch!!!!! Will meet with our midwife this Friday, which is pretty exciting, makes me feel like this all really is for real!!!!! Our Ds will be 3 1/2 when the new babe arrives, and he is really exicted!!! We spend lots of time talking about the baby in mommas belly!!!!!
Well, thats me, thanks for lettin me hang out with you all...and blessings to all of you for happy, healthy pregnancies and births!!!!

Hi all. I haven't been around for a few days cause Ds is going through one of those "I don't need a nap Momma" phases. Today Dh is home sick with a sinus infection, so he as Ds are laying in bed together. And speaking of bed we got a new one...Yippee. We finally went out and bought a king sized bed. I figure if there are going to be four of us in it we will need it. I thought my nausea was getting better, but today it is worse again. I was so hoping I had gotten over that. I still haven't gotten ahold of my midwife to speak with her about the lab tests. I have been so worked up about it that I have been monitoring my blood pressure. So far so good, but if I check my pressure right after thinking about that Ob who was so condescending with me it shoots way up. Dh said I ought to make a report about him to the medical licensing board. He is probably right, but I am afraid I will come off sounding overly emotional if I try it right now. I'm still rather upset about the whole thing, and the fact that he lied to me figuring I must be ignorant if I didn't want the tests done, just really burns me up. I'm sure I will feel a little better after I talk with my midwife. If not I guess I will be looking for another practice.

Christymama: I wouldn't worry about the pinkish spotting. I had it some in the begining whenever Dh and I were intimate. My midwife said it was probably just cause that whole area has extra blood flowing into and so the veins are easier to rupture. Its probably fine as long as it stopped and you didn't get any cramps.

Well I went out and bought myself a few pairs of maternity pants. It feels nice to wear something that stretches. Its weird though, because I made it through my whole pregnancy with Ds without needing maternity clothes, and here I am just under 3 months and I am already having to change my wardrobe. The second time around sure is different. Actually I have been looking for cute maternity clothes, but it seems like almost everything is real frilly and cutesy. That or its just way too expensive. I did manage to find one cute top for a decent price, but I am still shopping around for more. Luckily I can still wear most of my normal shirts, so I have a little while. I really like the low cut maternity pants. I am so excited to have found some as I didn't want to wear the big panel kind. I think I am going to make Dh take me out shopping again when he feels better.

well the spotting didnt last more then a few hours. It had to be the blood vessels. No no crampy either. nothing since that night. So Im not to worried about it. Well 13 weeks today So I guess that means this pushes me into the 2nd trimester right wooohoo Have my dr appt on the 14th. that will be here before i know it. I have been feeling flutters the past two night when i go to lay down for bed. I am thinking it may be the baby swimming around in there. Also i could tell my uterus has moved up. Last night one side was harder then the other and I felt a flutter right before i went to feel. I was thinking the little one might have moved to one side! : So excited to start feeling this. With dd#1 i felt movement for sure at 16 weeks and then DD#2 i felt it at 14 and half weeks. So i guess it wouldnt be to strange to feel this one now being 13 weeks. Right or does everyone think I am just ...
Pottermama welcome to our group! You never know when that little one will decide to come your right. Might as well spend your time with both sets of Mama;s.
bellafinn I was just kinda lonley!! And as you can tell LOVE to talk!! well I had better get going i hope you are all doing great !