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are there any other single SAHM mamas here

2046 Views 41 Replies 27 Participants Last post by  rainbowmoon
or am I the only one?
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I have stayed home with my kids since day one. I am a student (by correspondance) so I can stay home with them and I homeschool.
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cool! and I thought I would get no responses here

I am not a student nor work at home. just a SAHM for now. I know we are in a unique position, so just looking for support here.
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Well for right now I am a SAHM (STBX fired me - long story) but I'm going to have to start looking for a part-time job. I still plan on being a part-time SAHM, just looking for ways to make that work. I'm considering being a nanny.
Another single SAHM here. I haven't worked outside the home since
dd was born. While I was pregnant my Mother became very ill, and
my Dad would have needed to get a nursing company to come into
the home daily to help care for her. To help my parents and to help
me in my situation I moved back home so I don't have to pay a rent
or utilities. I help my Dad with the care of my Mother and the house
chores, and now I am taking care of the paying of bills (Dad is not
keeping up, and I am taking over so that he can save money. Too
many late fee's).
I keep a small income with Ebay so that I don't have to ask my parents
for money. I also keep my dd clothed with buying on Ebay.
(Side note-GREAT TIP FOR PARENTS- People like to clean out there
homes and get rid of stuff off season on Ebay. From buying Winter
coats in the Spring for dd, her wearing them the next Winter, then I
sell them the next Fall, I have actually made money. If it's a well made
brand name.
One Example- I bought dd a red holiday Gap coat on Ebay in
Spring for $7.99 including shipping. She wore it to church, and
holiday gatherings the next Winter. This fall I sold that same
jacket for about $22.00. It all helps.)

When dd starts going to school full time I hope to start working or go
back to school. That is two years away, so SAHM I will be for awhile.
No regrets just would like to work part time again.
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SAHM here as well, at least for now. I'm supposedly a student too. Hope to finish up this year, and then I will be getting a job. Stbxh makes tons of dough but gambles it all away. He's been good so far with rehabilitative alimony and cs, but I don't know how reliable he'll be in the near and distant future. So I need to become self-sufficient soon.
wanna be SAHM here. Just thought I'd chime in because I'm jealous. I work 3 days a week and hate every minute of it. Just want to be home with dd and not have to leave her at daycare. Daycare's been getting worse and worse lately--- but that's a long story!

I actually just signed up to start selling herbs at home parties and online. Would be so nice if it did well and I can start staying home days with dd-- and just find a babysitter for 1 or 2 nights a week to do parties.

How do you all do it?
I have stayed at home since ds was born. New Zealand has a very good welfare system so I can afford to stay at home with him. Its just enough to live on (rent paid, money for food and bills with a little left over), but I'm so grateful that I can spend all of my time with Harper. We get alot of our stuff 2nd hand - actually I can't remember the last time I bought us new clothes! But that doesn't bother me, I used to buy my clothes from thrift stores before ds was born and I could afford new clothes, so it really makes no difference.
I know that one day I will get a good job and I won't have to watch my bank balcance all the time, but until then I am happy to live on what I get just so I can spend these important years with my ds.
I was for about a year and a half, living with my mom who paid the bills
. It really helped so I could be with dd2 after she was born. Then I started school full time, but the girls are mostly cared for by my mom now so it is a good situation for them. (Except when she's lacking in judgment, see my other thread, grr).
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I'm a single SAHM too. Yes, I'm on state assistance. No, it's not a pretty life but it allows me to be home with my one and only child. I will probably not have any more children so I really wanted to do the best I could with ds.

I DO have to get a job soon BUT I'm looking for a nanny position where I can bring my son to. It's not an easy search in the area I'm in. People just don't want a nanny to bring her own child. The people around here tend to be wealthy and, um, snobbish.
I've actually been looking for a position for a year! So, it's not like I'm trying to 'milk' the system.
Also, I have a bad hip (under docs care) and may be able to postpone the job search for awhile.

I do sell Mary Kay and that helps occasionally. It would REALLY help if I could leave ds with his father while I did the home parties. That is the REAL way to earn the big bucks. I stay with Mary Kay simply because of the high commision.

Good to see this thread.
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ooh Lovesharp, you're in New Zealand! I've been trying to convence a friend of mine to help me buy a house there-- so dd and I can move there. I'm so drawn to it.

I don't understand why the US is so backwards when it comes to early childhood care. I have family from turkey and there they give mother's a stipend to stay home with their children for 3 years!!!
Can you imagine!

In MA, the welfare system doesn't even give you enough for rent, let alone anything extra. I stayed home for the first 11 month before getting a job. $403.00 a month for dd and I, plus $90 for food. Just my rent was $500. It just doesn't make sense. Plus, you are required to get a job when your child turns 2 and they take a dollar away for each dollar you make.
I will be relying on social security (survivors benefits) so I can stay home with my kids for the time being. thankfully DH paid quite a bit into it
I am not at all sure what I will do beyond that. I would like to go back to nursing school possibly at some point and work as a massage therapist/doula part time too, at least at some point, but I really have no child care right now. and doulaing is pretty much out of the question atm because of that factor. plus I want to be home with my kids while they are little, even more so now, I feel it's VERY important. I have always planned to homeschool too, but not sure if I will be able to do it plus everything else I want to do in the future.
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I'm glad that you have that option. With the death of your husband, you all need each other more than ever and it really is important for you to all have time to be together and enjoy those two blessings in your life.

You'll be surprised at the options that can work once you get through babyhood and get back to normal sleep.

I manage well with my own studies and homeschooling. I do most of my work at night when the kids are in bed and I find it fills a void that I was feeling of not having a partner to hang with after the kids were asleep. I do get some work done in the day because my kids play well together. But I don't do it often.

With homeschooling we mostly unschool, so it's not hard to fit the homeschooling stuff in and we do lots of reading & crafts and find learning adventures everywhere. It's much like stay home parenting anyway, so it wasn't hard to fit it in.

I did nothing but be a single stay home parent until my youngest was two and even then I only did 1 course over 6 months and it was a bit challenging. Now I do 4 and can handle the pace much better.
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I'm a single SAHM too. My H left a little over two years ago. I've been a SAHM for ten years. My youngest is two now. I'm looking for some babysitting, or something else I could do from home, and then when the littlest one is in school I'll have to look for something more permanent/better paying. I'm really struggling financially right now, in fact - I came here to the single parenting forum to ask a question, so I'll go do that now!
I'm a stay at home mom to four. We homeschool too. I feel blessed to be able to just be with my kids. It is hard sometimes. I get food stamps, soc. sec., and child support (a little). My mom helps me when she can and we go with out when we must. With a special needs kid (my ds is bipolar) and two of them five and under I can't imagine doing it any other way.

Originally Posted by thistlelait
In MA, the welfare system doesn't even give you enough for rent, let alone anything extra. I stayed home for the first 11 month before getting a job. $403.00 a month for dd and I, plus $90 for food. Just my rent was $500. It just doesn't make sense. Plus, you are required to get a job when your child turns 2 and they take a dollar away for each dollar you make.
Wow...compared to FL that looks generous! Here you could get $198 mo (for mother and TWO kids) if your child is under three months, then only if you are "actively looking for a job (20 applications a week) and after a couple of months of looking for a job you are required to do 30 hours a week of community service while getting your $198 a mo and putting your child into day care. Plus they want vax records. And it takes hours and hours in unsanitary waiting rooms with a newborn just to get that. Food stamps are on top of that, though, and generous...but can't live on food alone. We do get to eat organic, which is nice, and whenever I feel particularly poor we can go to the grocery store and get a treat. Every bit helps to make us feel more human
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Wow Jster and thistlelait, I had no idea that the welfare system was so bad in the US (I knew it wasn't the greatest, but to not even get enough to live on!)
I feel even more grateful for what I get. Admittedly the system here gets a lot of flak because it is so easy for people to rip it off, but its so great for the people who actually need it. We get cheaper health care, food grants (up to $400 a year when we need it) and we can also get other grants for things that we need - like bond for a house or optician appointments. They also pay for any study we might want to do.
I don't have to look for a job until my ds is school age, and even then working is not compulsory until he turns 14 (the legal age for leaving children home alone).

Good luck finding a house out here thistlelait! You'd better hurry because the property market is booming at the moment and house prices keep going up and up.
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Just popping in to say Hi to my fellow SAH single mama's!

Yeah, welfare really stinks here. Sigh.

Double hugs!
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