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As many of you know from my previous posts, I have had a lot of issues with the preschool my ds attended and we are looking for a new one. I think the teacher should tell me what happened if my ds has a scratch on his face or has been hit/bitten by another child. Several times I have had my ds tell me about these things when I ask how he got this scratch,etc. I would also like to know if my ds does this to another child. Assuming of course the teacher saw these incidents. I also expect the teachers to teach the children how to be nice to each other. If they observe/hear children excluding others from play or saying things like I am not your friend, I don't like you, etc. I would like them to explain the golden rule. Is this a realistic expectation for at least some preschools?<br><br>
One example: I picked up my ds and he had a scratch near his eye. When I asked, he said V did it. Then I asked the teacher and she said, yes, she saw it, it was unfortunate but V was having a very bad day and my ds asked him to clean up his work so V struck out. What am I supposed to do, say, okay, well if he was just having a bad day let him scratch, hit bite?
 

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Yes, what you are saying is absolutely realistic. I think these are basic requirements for ALL preschools, not just some.<br><br>
At our preschool and others I have heard about in the area, parents would definitely be told about hitting or scratching, and someone would intervene. The three basic rules at my daughter's school are You may not hurt others, You may not hurt yourself, You may not hurt school property. That seems pretty sensible and easy to understand for 2-5 year olds.<br><br>
The issue of not playing with other kids is more complicated. I think it depends on how it's handled by the teachers (and I think it must be handled by the teachers at that age.) There are a couple of schools of thought on this. One approach is "you can't say you can't play" - no kids are allowed to exclude anyone ever (that's how I understand it). I think that approach started in Chicago, so there are some schools here that do it.<br><br>
Our school does not follow that approach as such, so kids are allowed their space if they need it, but in a positive way. (If X doesn't want to play with Y, the teachers teach them to explain that they need some space and they go do something else for a while - no meanness involved.)<br><br>
Anyway, I think you are absolutely right to look for a new school!! Good luck with the search.<br><br>
PS You might want to check if the preschools you are looking at are NAEYC accredited<br><a href="http://www.naeyc.org/accreditation/default.asp" target="_blank">http://www.naeyc.org/accreditation/default.asp</a>
 

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Teachers can explain the Golden Rule until they're blue in the face, but (having worked at the YMCA) I've learned that you can't force kids to be friends with everyone. Sometimes there are people that kids don't like and while they shouldn't be allowed to be actively mean (calling names, etc) I don't think that it's in either kids' best interest to force them to play with each other.
 

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When I worked in a daycare/pre-school in Va. we had to document all cases of a child get hurt and have the parents sign off on the form. If a child hurt another child we also had to document that and have the parent sign off on it. I'm assuming this is fairly common b/c I've seen in done in Ca. and NJ also. Of course, the school would have to be state licensed for the rule to apply. Also, NAEYC accreditation is one of the highest standards to meet.
 

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My student's sister's school (got that?) always documents each injury, no matter how small, with a special form just for that report. Parents get a copy and school gets a copy. It mentions what the injury is, where it is, where it happened, who was involved, who observed it, and what the school did (bandaid, ice pack, etc.)
 

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Our Pre-K/Kindergarten teachers always tell the children 'All Doors are Open' meaning that they can't exclude someone from playing with the group. Individual play is allowed but groups of children are not allowed to exclude another child. Also, whenever our child was hurt we always got a report on what happened. Same with our nanny.
 

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i think children have the right to decide who they play with and don't play with. you can't force children to include anyone in play who they don't want to. it is fake. this has happened to my dd. a girl at pre-k always says "you can't play" yes, it hurt her feelings but because of that she has found other friends who DO want to play with her.
 

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I know that at the preschool dd went to this past year if ANYONE had an accident or something happened to them, they filled out a report sheet- same with misbehavior.
 

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I think it sould be absolutely essential to know what happened to your child if you think he is injured in ANY way.
 

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You should absolutely expect to be informed of any minor injury. Our preschool does an "ouch report" for anything that leaves a mark, or anything that the child feels was important, even if it was really a tap on the hand by another child. And if accidents can happen without being observed, then you have another issue -- children should be supervised all the time and there shouldn't be any hidden areas of the playground.<br><br>
As for playing with other children, that is trickier. I think kids have a right to have and chose their own friends. Our school emphasizes respect and kindness, but does not force children to play together. But they have to respect other chidlren's feelings and can't be cruel, name-call or tease, bully, or hurt other kids. That seems to be the right balance for me. And the teachers are really good at encouraging kindness and modelling respect.<br><br>
So no, I don't think you have expectations that are too high. Keep looking until you find the right thing.
 
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