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My two boys are almost 6 and almost 3. Both are very well behaved in all conventional senses, but are very active and full of energy and are all over dh and I all day long. Full of questions, wanting to play, read a book, tears when they bonk their head, wanting a snack, etc. There are of course moments when they entertain themselves or are quiet, but the majority of the time they want or need our attention in some way. So when I want to visit with a friend (most of my friends don't have kids) I plan to go out with them since there is no way I would ever get to just sit and hang out if we were at my house.<br><br>
I remember when ds1 was about 2yo, my childless friend remarked to me how when she was visiting another friend of hers with a 2yo, they were able to visit while the 2yo played quietly and entertained himself. (I was a little offended at the time.) I remember my parents having people over a lot, hanging out and talking. It seems like moms here on MDC have made reference to having visitors for dinner and such.<br><br>
Are my kids just particularly high maintenance? Are you able to sit on the couch and gab with a friend while your young children entertain themselves?
 

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When my kids were as young as yours leisurely and/or lengthy conversations weren't really a guarantee. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> My son was really quite active and what many would call "spirited" or "high needs", and though he could and sometimes did entertain himself, he usually needed to touch base with me frequently. Like many kids he was Mr. Interruption for a long time. My Dd was a bit more easy going but still...<br><br>
For the most part the friends we had around then (and now too I guess) had children of their own, and they were totally familiar with the noise and demands of the kids. Something I did differently than most of my friends was that I never excluded them or prevented them from being around or a part of adult conversation.<br><br>
Anyway, you are not alone. Your post sounds totally normal and familiar to me. As for the toddler your friend mentioned that was self entertaining: Kids are all different. Some are that way and others are...well, like my Ds at age 4. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/nut.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="nut"> It does get better as they grow up. In the meantime it helps if your friends are cool with casual conversation peppered with little kid stuff, but I can see how that would be different when dealing with child free friends. I think going out to have a kid free talk is fine too.
 

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Mine are 4 and 2. If someone is over for just a while - say an hour or less, then no its hard to have a conversation because for some reason visitors get them all excited. If, however, the guests stay a while then they calm down and then we can talk.<br>
I was so embarrassed at my 36w home visit with my midwife because my son was ALL over her and interrupting us and generally just being silly and crazy. She handled it fine but I was embarrased. Thats why I never bring him to prenatals because I want to be able to have a conversation. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Edited to add - its my son who is 4 who is higher needs than DD. She was off playing in her room for the most part. Though he does get her all fired up at times and then there are two crazy little people. LOL
 

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We have this poblem too. Most of the people that come here have kids too. That is good. The kids will play together. But if it is just a lone adult, forget it.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>oceanbaby</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7925589"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Are you able to sit on the couch and gab with a friend while your young children entertain themselves?</div>
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Nope. Not at all. DH and I can't even have a conversation with <b>each other</b> let alone guests and it's getting very annoying.<br><br>
DS just requires alot of attention and gets upset when the focus is off him.<br><br>
When guests come over he goes into hyperactive mode and family/friends are like "is he okay" DH and I have to constantly say "DS, try to speak quietly okay?"<br><br>
He gets loud and starts running all over the place...it's like he gets a burst of adrenaline or something.<br><br>
SIL came over Saturday with niece (2) and nephew (7) to come visit with us. I was so happy to see her! Anyway, the minute they walked in the door, DS just started bouncing off the wall, getting into his little coupe car and riding into my nephew.<br><br>
Then the Adults start talking and DS is mad at nephew and says "Mommy, tell him (my nephew), give me the car. Tell him Mommy, tell him" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:<br><br>
And then he starts crying for over a fake boo boo and I have to kiss it, and then we started discussing our vacation trip and DS walks over with his book in his hand and says "Mommy, read me a story" AAAAHHHHHH!!<br><br>
This was through SIL's entire visit.<br><br>
Not all kids are like this because my niece (the 2 year old) is not. She sat <b>quietly in my lap the entire visit</b>. At one point, I forgot I was holding her she was so quiet.<br><br>
But she's always like this, quiet...observant because that's just her personality/temperament. DS? At 2?<br><br>
Oh my goodness, meltdown after meltdown because of crazy things. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">:
 

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No I can't. And like the PP, dh and I can't even have a conversation with each other at times. We have to wait until after bedtime to have any important discussions. It's really annoying. It's mostly 4.5 yo DD. She needs almost constant attention and interupts all the time. 18 mo DD is the total opposite. She is so independent and will play quietly by herself. Thankfully though, most of our friends have kids, so the kids all end up in the playroom leaving the grown-ups to visit in the living room.
 

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Paddy (20m) can be either really incredibly loud and annoying or go off and play by himself. He's actually pretty independent, but when he gets into his clingy/whiny mood he is unbearable and any rational discussion becomes impossible at that point. He's going through this phase right now where he'll babble and laugh and try to "join in" on our conversations. He gets a little carried away sometimes and we have to tell him to be quiet <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Now, when he is around other kids his age, he goes off and plays with them and forgets I even exist. I have a mom's group meeting tonight and I love taking him because I know I won't have to be his entertainment for a few hours <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/banana.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="banana">
 

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For the most part the answer is yes. We have friends over a lot and we are able to have lots of good conversation.<br><br>
When our childless friends come over we usually rent a special movie for our son. Since movies are a "big deal" he will usually be pretty quiet but he is still close by if he needs us.<br><br>
When our friends with kids come over it depends on the dynamic. One of one with someone his own age is very different than when we have 3-4 kids of all age groups.<br><br>
Also over all age matters too. My son is now 5 1/2 so he can pretty much be unsupervised anywhere in the house and for short periods outside in the yard. When he was 2 we needed to keep him site and/or close proximity especially with other kids around. That tended to limit long and involved conversations.
 

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We have guests over, with kids and without. Sometimes, I have to remind my 8yr old about the finer arts of conversation (ie, keep your audience interested, don't drone on and on about Garfield or Spongebob if they seem to be uninterested, don't monopolize the conversation...) but yes, we are all able to converse and hang out.<br><br>
In fact, we're having a friend come over for dessert tonight. He and his wife trade off the kids once a week for the other. He likes to come here and have some wine, cheese or dessert and chat until around midnight. On the weekends, he takes the three kids out for a whole day (usually hangs with us then too LOL) so his wife gets her break.<br><br>
Anyway, dd usually hangs with us at the kitchen table or plays a game or something else that interests her...<br><br>
ETA: Last night, DD was in the bath when our friend arrived. I got her out and dried her hair and she came out into the living room with us. She would sit on the couch with me and read, she told us jokes from her joke book, she had dessert with us, she played Wii a bit, drew a bit, told more jokes, commented on some of the things we were talking about (music, politics, books, religion...), went back to her books and drawing...at the end, she sat beside me and read books cuz she was getting sleepy but didn't want to miss anything <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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Generally speaking, my kids do entertain themselves. I don't really "play" with them, mostly because the things that they want to play with don't really interest me. They play with each other. They usually know not to ask me to read if we have adult company over. My six year old can get a snack for himself and dd (3) if they're hungry, so I don't really do much for the kids when we have company other than change diapers (ds2) or settle conflicts.
 

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DS is 2, and yes, he does entertain himself while I'm visiting, but probably b/c it is something we encourage and put it in the category of courtesy and respect (aka Mama is talking to Friend right now).<br><br>
I think it is important to me b/c honestly it drives me crazy when kids interrupt every 2 seconds. No offense at all to OP or any other parent. Believe me, my child has his moments, but it is something that is important to us (that he be polite AND that he be able to entertain himself at times).
 

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Well, I'm glad to know that there isn't something seriously wrong with my children!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
Actually, I think ds1 is a little harder than ds2 in this respect. He's very polite (says "excuse me," etc.) but he just gets sooooo excited when someone comes to visit. He wants them to watch him jump off the couch and spin his car, and he wants me to tell them about certain various incidents in his life that he thinks are hilarious.<br><br>
One reason I think it's hard is that we have a very small house. So if my kids are running around playing, they are right in the middle of everything, so it's loud and boisterous even if they're not really bugging us directly.<br><br>
And yeah, good luck having a conversation with dh. We try to save those for after bedtime, but sometimes by then we are both too exhausted to even bother.<br><br>
I guess for now I'll just continue visiting with my friends outside of the house.
 

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Hit or mis. It usually works out if we have another couple over for dinner who also has kids. Then they play with DS and keep one another entertained.
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>oceanbaby</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7925589"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Are my kids just particularly high maintenance? Are you able to sit on the couch and gab with a friend while your young children entertain themselves?</div>
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Now that my boys are almost 4, and my daughter is 5 and a half, I can--with the caveat that I get out the activity books and crayons or playdough or something that's a 'treat' that they don't get to do every day for them.<br><br>
But I think I have a slight advantage in that my kids are very close in age so they like the same stuff and can do more playdate-ish stuff with each other. If I had to multitask two different quiet activities for them I'd probably go crazy.<br><br>
To be honest, we socialize more in the summer than in the winter, because I can sit in the shade with a cold one for me and my friend(s) and the kids can do whatever they want in the backyard with minimal supervision (since I don't care if they climb trees, pour dirt on their heads, run through the bushes, ect.)<br><br>
I wouldn't let what your friend said to you get to you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> It could be the other child was feeling under the weather (and had less energy) or they were naturally mellow and there WAS only one and for all you know those were new toys! We all know that our kids can be angels on day and hellions the next. ;> Plus, who knows how long your friend stayed there.<br><br>
Everyone's different! Maybe your friend was feeling cranky when she said that. ;>
 

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I'm so glad I'm not alone! My DS is a little older now so it's gotten a little bit better, but when he was younger I could not talk to anyone for more than 10 seconds at a time. DS is now 4 and as long as he's entertained I'm ok to do what I need to do, but the second he starts to get bored - watch out! Usually if there are other kids around to play with he's ok, but if there aren't other kids an adult conversation isn't gonna happen.
 

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Well mine is only 32 months so no, can't get much in conversation-wise with other adults if she is there.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> That's why we invite people over in the evening and make sure she is already in bed before they arrive.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">
 

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Yeah, but my two-year-old is weird like that. He comes up, announces something in toddler-speak, and mostly runs off to amuse himself. Also, I am another mom who doesn't spend a whole lot of time entertaining my children in general during the day... which I'm not always really proud of, but there it is.<br><br>
My son learned early on to be pretty self-entertaining. Some people would see that as a virtue, and others as a sign of negligent mothering.<br><br>
I'm always sort of impressed to see moms who are that involved with their kiddos, though, because I have to consciously remind myself to do an activity or two with DS every day, let alone be "on" with him all day and night long!<br><br>
Anyway, so much of it is just personality, I'm convinced. DS is a pretty self-sufficient little fellow, but so's his mama. Maybe the apple just doesn't fall that far from the tree.
 

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Yup, I am but I only have one kid and she has always been able to play by herself - it is totally a personality thing. I was like that as a kid as well.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>oceanbaby</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7925589"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Are you able to sit on the couch and gab with a friend while your young children entertain themselves?</div>
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I am. But I have several children who are close together in age who play together well. I also make a point of telling my children that I would like to chat with my friend. If my priority to is converse with my friend, I don't have a problem telling my child that I will read a book to them or play with them later.
 
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