[Delta]

Do some toddlers just dart away more than others? When we set our son down in public he takes off and we are constantly chasing him everywhere. He is almost 17 months. He runs the second we set him down, and always towards something dangerous or the opposite of where we want to go. We spent 45 minutes chasing him around the airport waiting for our plane last night. It was hysterical and crazy at the same time.

At the zoo last week I broke out the harness but it didn't do any good, really. He was all over the place. Same thing at the (thankfully empty) restaurant for lunch today.

He just goes and goes and goes and never stops when we ask him to. He just goes faster.

My nephew is 20 months and does not do this and my sister said he never has. He just stands there with her and follows her where she goes. It astounds me! I just cannot imagine my son doing that. Is this just a personality difference? Will he ever grow out of it?

 

[Destinye]

LOL I think its astrological. DD 1/04 is the same way! I see other kids though that don't of similar age so I am sure some is personality. She will hold my hand though now for example near the road, and I am sure he will grow out of it/learn what is safe! Good Luck!

 

[allbrightmama]

Yes, I am constantly chasing my toddler in public. It was the worst around 18 months. His normally very long attention span would shrink to about 3 seconds every time we went somewhere unfamiliar or overstimulating. For him overstimulating could mean loud, crowded or visually distracting. It was exhausting for him and me. Ds is 2 now and it has definately improved.

Ds seems to have no separation anxiety or stranger anxiety. He keeps us on our toes. We are now able to explain to him when some situations require hand holding or being carried and he is generally okay with it but if we lose physical contact he does not in any way respond to verbal commands. He needs physical contact to listen.

We have success with giving him a job to do or creating a game that keeps him close at hand. For example, at the bank he fills out his own deposit slip while I do mine and he hands the check and both of our slips to the teller and waits for the roll of quarters which he is in charge of. He used to run around the bank like a madman if we were not restraining him in some way.

You will not be chasing your ds forever but he will probably continue to give you a workout either mental or physical for quite some time. It does get easier as they mature.

 

[barista]

It's the same here for another Jan '04 toddler - I just try not to set her down unless it's a situation where I can devote my full attention to following her around. I do love to watch her explore and find it fascinating watching what fascinates her, but in a situation where I have to divide my attention (like paying in a store or whatever), I try to hold her or put her in the cart and give her something to hold that will keep her amused for a few minutes. I try very hard not to be overprotective, but I can't imagine the horror of looking around and not knowing where she's gone.

 

[newmommy]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Delta Do some toddlers just dart away more than others?

Yes I think so. I have passed by other Parents with Toddlers the same age as DS and they are standing quietly by their parents holding their hands.

Not my Toddler! DS is almost 2 and he STILL runs away from us. Every time we get out of the car, unbuckle him out of his car seat and proceed to pull him out of the car, he arches and squirms to get away from us.

If it is nice outside, we try to give him a little control by letting him walk up the steps to our apartment...BUT he has to hold our hands...but does he hold our hands? NO! He takes OFF and start running and the chase is ON!

And when we finally catch up with him, he throws the worst Tantrum and screams so loud the neighbors look at us like we are beating him

He is my only child so I don't know when they grow out of it.

 

[tyedyedeyes]

Oh my god. I can totally relate to everything. My DS (now 2 1/2) WILL NOT stay close. I try to let him have as much freedom as possible, but he thinks it's a game all the time and runs away, laughing. I don't have any suggestions, but I couldn't read this without posting. I have been wanting to post on this subject for a while now, but you beat me to it! I don't want to hijack the thread, so I'm gonna present my own specific problem on a different thread, but I wanted to let you know i'm in the same boat as you. I hope that it's more of a stage than behavioral. If I magically come across the answer, i'll let you know. LOL :LOL

 

[Dolphin]

Yep - me too! My toddler is almost 2, and I keep hoping it will get better. Just tonight, we were at the mall to get pics taken, so I didn't have the stroller since we were just going in for that one thing. So on our way out, I told him calmly that if he wanted to walk, he had to hold mommy's hand. He said "ok!", I put him down, and off he goes, without holding my hand! It's like he's planning his escape every second! So I know exactly how you feel, and I do think it's about their personality. I know of other toddlers his age who don't do this.

 

[mamapajama]

yes, yes, and ummm yes.

DS 1 walked at 10 months and from that moment on he would always run away in public. He will be 3 next month and while it is much better, he still will get too far away for my comfort.

 

[mermommy]

My DD ( just turned 2) likes to run everywhere. If I'm ready to just wander with her wherever she'd like to go in a store she'll hold my hand but if I stop to look at something she's off.

 

[faythe]

Yes, some toddlers are more likely to run off than others. I don't think parenting has very much to do with it, since I've had both.

My twins were big runners, they usually went in opposite directions and as fast as they possibly could. Dd3 has almost never run off, though. Usually she just goes really, really slow, and occasionally will plop down on her bottom in protest. Dd4 looks to be another runner, she's already made for the end of the driveway a couple of times.

 

[Delta]

Thank you for your replies.

I used to think it was just a toddler thing and that they *all* did this and that was just something they go through and all that. But, after visiting my sister and watching her very calm son next to my wild child out in public...I started wondering and had to ask.

He doesn't mind his stroller but I just feel bad keeping him in it all the time when we are out. A sling is out because he is just too big (24 pounds) and I am too small (5'2" and 95 pounds.) He is just so strong and it's hard for me to hold him and do something else when he is struggling to get down.

Exhausting. He's a great kid with a *very* happy disposition and pretty 'easy' in general. It's just that he has to touch everything and go everywhere and do it all very FAST.

 

[mamahammer]

Hey, you! Yeah, Thomas runs everywhere, all the time. And the few times we've tried the leash, he just plops himself down and works his way out of it. If I carry him (which I shouldn't be doing these days), he just says, over and over again, "No, mama! Thomas walk! Walk!" I'm fortunate in that he won't go anywhere that he can't see me, but still. At this point in my pregnancy, every little outing requires a good two hours off my feet just to catch my breath

 

[minkeyminkey]

My son also used to run off whenever we were out and about. He is now 2 1/2 and will stay by my side... unless he is tired.

One thing we did that helped was when we were somewhere safe, I would walk away from him. Sometimes he would yell for me to come back and I would continue to walk and not look back. He did not want to be left behind so he would eventually follow.

This technique would also be helpful if you have someone to help you watch him while you walk away. I did this with some friends while we were taking a walk and it worked!

 

[Pookietooth]

Yes, when he's in a place he's been enough to feel comfortable, he totally runs away from me, and it's getting worse all the time, and he's almost 2 1/2. He's got major stanger anxiety and separation anxiety most of the time, but put him in a place he's been a lot, like the Health food store, and he runs off like crazy.

 

[loraxc]

We bought a leash.

She has no stranger or separation anxiety and never has, and we were going absolutely crazy trying to keep her with us. She will NOT hold hands and refuses to be carried, so it had reached a point where things were just disastrous. The leash, dare I say it, has been wonderful. She actually asks to have it put on. You get some looks, but man, it is worth it. I know I need to teach her how to stay close and be safe, but hopefully (!) that will be more possible when she's a little older.

I do think it's a temperament thing. I have seen those same toddlers, quietly holding mom's hand and staying right next to her. Whaaaa??

 

[Venice Mamacita]

Quote:

Originally Posted by loraxc I do think it's a temperament thing. I have seen those same toddlers, quietly holding mom's hand and staying right next to her. Whaaaa??

OMG, I know!

But a psychologist once told me, "Beware the quiet child," and this is what I tell myself when I see "well-behaved" children quietly following their mommies around.

My 25 m/o DS is pretty good about staying where I can see him -- and has some one-on-one stranger anxiety -- but he has no problem running off in a crowd, like at a festival or the airport. Basically, we just let him run until he tires out a little (with one of us following him around, of course). For instance, if all 3 of us are at the market, then one of us follows DS around while the other one does the actual shopping (if I take him marketing by myself, he stays in the cart!). Same at the airport -- one of us runs around after him while the other hovers at the gate waiting to board.

In general, DS is a pretty active kid, and for this -- although it's a challenge sometimes -- I'm very grateful. If we can help him find safe outlets for his energy, we're all much happier.

 

[hempmama]

Venice- Do you mind if I ask why? Because they might be being abused? My DD has always just been a very mild, shy kid, and likes holding my hand when are out walking around. If she's not hiding behind my legs, that is. :LOL

But did he/she mean anything else?

 

[atomicmama]

Oh yeah, my ds takes off...very frustrating! I don't want to limit his world, but I don't want him to get hurt either! (he's 19 mos.)
His sister never explored as much, is it a girl/boy thing, or something entirely different? hhhmmmmmm....

 

[Destinye]

DD is definitely a girl and she is a wild child! So I dont think its necessarily a boy/girl thing or any one thing really, I think a lot is personality though!

I also study astrology and DD has a Sagittarius moon and was doing somersaults before she was born so was not too suprised she is at the other end of the park while the other toddlers are quietly sitting in the grass playing! They are fine too, its just different personalities - it would be nice to sit down sometimes tho!

 

[bizarrogirl]

Another mom of a very energetic, 2 year old girl explorer! It's gotten better now that she's a little older, because she follows my directions a little better, but I still have to haunt her steps in lots of places. It's very tiring, but I'm glad she's got so much pep.