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DD recently had her birthday. She loved receiving calls from family and just over half of our immediate family called, but 2 of her 3 aunts did not. She hasn't worked that out but I felt a bit miffed.<br><br>
What are your thoughts?
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>bits and bobs</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14735292"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">DD recently had her birthday. She loved receiving calls from family and just over half of our immediate family called, but 2 of her 3 aunts did not. She hasn't worked that out but I felt a bit miffed.<br><br>
What are your thoughts?</div>
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TBH, I take the attitude that my kids are the center of my world, but don't expect them to be the center of other peoples' world. If my DD is not miffed, I wouldn't put it into her head to be miffed.
 

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It honestly never occurred to me that extended family should call on birthdays. I've never called my nieces or nephew, and my brother and sister have never called my daughter. And my sisters-in-law have never called, and my husband and I have never called their kids. Is this typically done in other families? Is this a regional thing?
 

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Do you call all of your nieces/nephews and your siblings and other relatives on their birthdays? If so, you deserve a medal!!!<br><br>
We have a dozen nieces/nephews at least and I can't even manage to always call my mother and grandparents on their birthdays anymore. (8 & 10 year old children) For some, it just isn't that important.<br><br>
I really don't think you should be offended or sad, because I truly don't think phone calls of that sort are any sort of barometer as to how much they love and care about you or your children.
 

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I don't expect aunts and uncles to call... however my mother wont even call my brother's kids. And when he gets upset about it she makes some stupid comment about how she is not "required" to call them. WTF???<br><br>
My MIL never calls my kids at all either. She expects them to write. Whatever lady.
 

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i never call anyone so I am not surprised when people don't call us. I also suck at remembering birthdays. heck half the time I don't know what day of the week it is never mind the date. however if this is how our family rolled I would definitely be bummed if one or two people couldn't be bothered. I wouldn't dwell on it though. and I wouldn't say anything to a child who didn't notice. it sounds like a lot of people in your family thought about her and called. Let her be really happy about it. talking to her about the two that didn't call will really steal away the great feelings she had about all the people who did call.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>choli</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14735318"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">TBH, I take the attitude that my kids are the center of my world, but don't expect them to be the center of other peoples' world. If my DD is not miffed, I wouldn't put it into her head to be miffed.</div>
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Yep, this. Only one family member (on both sides of the family combined) called DS on his birthday last week. No biggie...he didn't seem disappointed, and I know that my children aren't the center of anyone's world but mine. 'tis all good. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">: Heck, I didn't get a single call on *my* birthday. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">: Then again, I'm not a phone kind of person. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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Are we supposed to call ALL our nieces and nephews on their birthdays?<br><br>
Today is my daughters birthday. My mother called but I'm an only child and she only has my kids as grandkids. With my in-laws, we usually celebrate at Thanksgiving, so they've already told her Happy Birthday and didn't call today, nor did I expect them to.
 

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I call all my nieces and nephews on their birthdays. I don't send a card or present, but I let them know that I am thinking of them.<br><br>
So ya, when my dd turned 5 last month, my SIL didn't call and while dd didn't notice, it irked me.
 

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Meh, it's no biggie. I've never been bothered, so my kids aren't either.<br>
I also don't see why it's such a big deal if your kids (even teens) forget your birthday or forget to wish it to you. They have lives (and very big egos), too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>littleteapot</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14735608"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Meh, it's no biggie. I've never been bothered, so my kids aren't either.<br>
I also don't see why it's such a big deal if your kids (even teens) forget your birthday or forget to wish it to you. They have lives (and very big egos), too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"></div>
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Hehe.... seriously.. my mother (some one who is not required to call her grandchildren) would have your head if you forgot her birthday!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
We do call all our nieces, siblings and parents on their birthdays!<br><br>
It's just my own personal butthurt obviously-DD isn't fazed, so I should take a leaf out of her book!<br><br>
Thx
 

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We have an ultra small family. DH is an only child, I am one of 2 and BIL is one of 2. Every one calls or texts everyone else on their birthday. Except dh's father and it peve's me off. My kids are 11, 13 and 15 and they do notice.
 

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The only person from both sides who even sends them a card is my Mother.<br>
So I have no expectations from anyone for any of my kids birthdays. Sad but true.
 

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Not so much "extended family"...Aunts, uncles, cousins, etc...But in my family, there are people who I feel are "required" to do something. For instance, my sister, who is my DD's favorite aunt...And has been in DD's life since literally the day I got pregnant. I'd be hurt, and so would DD if she didn't at least send a card. My mother, and my mother in law are also on the "required to acknowledge in some way" DD's birthday, however, my mother is the only one who delivers on that. MIL doesn't even remember the date. Yeah, I'm miffed about it, and DD is still too young to really care - But I do - And furthermore, I know DD will care someday, and that's what hurts the most.<br><br>
Other aunts and uncles are not really a presence in DD's life, and I'd hate for an obligitory "I don't call you any of the other 364 days of the year, but I'm gonna calll you now" type of feeling.<br><br>
I don't know if this really answers your question. To sum up, I guess it depends on the relationship. Close aunt = phone call, card, or gift. Not so close...I don't really expect much of anything.
 

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I don't expect phone calls. However, with our siblings, I would be thrilled to even get one postcard once a year addressed to all of the kids saying, "Hope your are still alive." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> Our siblings seriously suck when it comes to being family - sibling or aunts and uncles. My parents and grandparents are all dead. Dh's mother is a narcissist and his father is an enabler. So, yeah, our kids got the short end of the stick when it comes to extended relatives. It sucks even more because family is really important to us. So, we are making our own family and our kids are all really close.
 

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No, it wouldn't bother me. I hate the required-phone-calls-and-related-guilt thing.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>boheime</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14736919"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't expect phone calls. However, with our siblings, I would be thrilled to even get one postcard once a year addressed to all of the kids saying, "Hope your are still alive." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> Our siblings seriously suck when it comes to being family - sibling or aunts and uncles. My parents and grandparents are all dead. Dh's mother is a narcissist and his father is an enabler. So, yeah, our kids got the short end of the stick when it comes to extended relatives. It sucks even more because family is really important to us. So, we are making our own family and our kids are all really close.</div>
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If you were close to your siblings they would send the post cards. I am not close to my brothers. I don't have my kids call them Uncle So and So (although my mother pushes it <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">) I could care less if they sent my kids things and likewise I don't sen their kids things. I think if a family is not close, never was close, never got along in the first place, there is no real point in pretending to care just because you share some DNA. But then again.. my mother raised us to be at odds with each other in the first place. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug">
 

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No.<br><br>
Some do and some don't. And some years there's a call and some years there isn't. It's not a big deal.
 

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Doesn't bother me at all.<br><br>
In fact, when I was a child, I would rather have gouged my eyes out with hot pokers than talk to relatives on the phone on my birthday(or any holiday). I've always been a bit weird about talking on the phone, though...
 
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