[SashaBear]

I'm researching home births for myself. Not pregnant yet. Anyway I live in Indiana where lay midwives are not supposed to practice. Am I supposed to keep my home birth a secret?

 

[MegBoz]

In Maryland, direct-entry MWs (CPM designation) are illegal. Most HB Mamas I know don't keep their HB a secret, they just aren't as public about the identity of their MW.

Now, whenever I get PG with #2, I intend to plan an HB & I will keep it a secret from Mom & MIL... but that's a separate issue!

That's cuz I don't want to hear the "Are you nuts? You're going to kill the grandchild!"

 

[Comtessa]

I don't disclose my MW's name, except to other homebirthing mamas looking for recommendations. But, I'm quite public about our HB - mostly because people need to know we're out there choosing it, regardless of the stupid stupid stupid laws.

 

[SashaBear]

I think my main concern is the people at my church knowing and then my OB (that did my previous birth) finding out.

 

[mwherbs]

so no you do not have to keep your home birth a secret but it would be best to keep your midwife's identity a secret- and your midwife would probably tell you what has worked best in the past- as far as avoiding trouble-

 

[GoldmanBaby09]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SashaBear I think my main concern is the people at my church knowing and then my OB (that did my previous birth) finding out.

I think I would censor myself around the church group then. Birth is a private matter and maybe not everyone who attends Sunday service needs to know what you are up to. Plus, really, a lot of people don't really ask too much about it because everyone assumes you are having a hospital birth. You don't have to lie, but you don't have to volunteer information, either. If anyone asks why you aren't seeing the old OB just say you found another care provider and leave it at that. I wouldn't let the judgment of others keep you from the birth experience you want to have.

 

[Amber Lion]

Why are you concerned about them knowing? I think that's the big question on whether to keep it a secret or not. I was rather outspoken about the fact that I was having a homebirth, but then midwives are legal here and I was trying to get people to realize that not only crazy hippies have homebirths.

People were surprisingly supportive - I didn't hear one negative thing from anyone. However, if I was concerned about legal issues/child endangerment issues I might not have been so outspoken.

 

[littlebb]

I have the same situation here in Georgia where it's illegal for my midwife to practice because while it's not technically illegal to birth at home, the state of Georgia won't certify any new midwives, if that makes sense (she's been doing it 20 years but can't get certified in this state). Everyone I know is aware of my homebirth EXCEPT for when I see any outside doctors. When I left the OB practice, I didn't tell them it was for a homebirth (not their business). And I have struggles with finding a regular doctor who will treat me for elevated blood pressure while pregnant because most are uncomfortable with the homebirth. My personal policy (and basically that of my midwife since it's her butt on the line) is when I go see a new doctor or something, I tell them up front I'm planning a homebirth because out of respect, I think they should know, but I never ever release the name of my midwife or her practice. It seems to put the doctors a little more at ease when I'm honest with them. Aside from that, I pretty much tell people and educate those who assume homebirth is all witchcraft and voodoo. Some people seem put off by it, but it's my birth, not theirs : )

 

[rebeccalynn]

I'm in NC and here non CNM are illegal (with the exception on 1 mw who is grandfathered in I think). I tend to talk about hb & my mw in smaller and personal settings where I can speak to the general ignorance and misinformation people have but I never give out identifying info about my MW b/c I would never want to endanger her or her family.

I am guarded talking about hb & non CNW around MDs and OBs b/c I do not care to debate and they most likely think that they are the "professionals" with all the knowledge anyway. I use my influence where it is more valuable ie writing my representatives and letting them know that one of their constituents wants MWs made a legal choice for the women in our state.

 

[Burnindinner]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Comtessa I don't disclose my MW's name, except to other homebirthing mamas looking for recommendations. But, I'm quite public about our HB - mostly because people need to know we're out there choosing it, regardless of the stupid stupid stupid laws.

Yep, this in NC too.

 

[paquerette]

If I lived in Indiana, I would probably keep it a secret. From what I understand they're actively prosecuting.

 

[celestialdreamer]

I live in a state that is very HBAC un-friendly and I'm planning an HBAC. I think I'm going to handle discussing it like most women who are in states that MW is illegal. We are only telling immediate family and close (homebirth supportive) friends and no one else. It is just not any of their business. If it somehow came up eventually that we are having a homebirth, I would absolutely not mention the MW's name.

 

[srlpenny]

I'd talk to your MW, I live in NY where CPM's are also not "legally" allowed to practice. My MW just didn't want me taking an ad out with her name in it, but said I could recommend her to friends, and I talked about my plans to HB freely. I know there are other MWs in our area that are more secretive.

 

[deymm]

I am keeping my plans pretty quiet. I live in IL and have a legal MW (only CNMs can practice here), but I don't need the stress of having to defend myself to other people.

 

[ShwarmaQueen]

I'm only telling people who I know will be supportive (or who must know, like my mom/sis). I just don't want to waste my breath defending HB to some closeminded idiots, or waste my time trying to discern who may or might not be.

 

[tracymom1]

Quote:

Originally Posted by paquerette If I lived in Indiana, I would probably keep it a secret. From what I understand they're actively prosecuting.

That's what my midwife said, too. We are in Illinois, where the laws are similar, although CPMs are allowed to attend home births as long as they have MD backup. My midwife, though, is a DEM and cannot get licensing in the state so we are keeping things on the down-low.

 

[Valerie]

Quote:

Originally Posted by tracymom1 That's what my midwife said, too. We are in Illinois, where the laws are similar, although CPMs are allowed to attend home births as long as they have MD backup. My midwife, though, is a DEM and cannot get licensing in the state so we are keeping things on the down-low.

I wonder if you meant to say CNM. To the best of my knowledge, CPMs are not recognized by the State of Illinois, and may not care for pregnant and birthing women without risking prosecution for practicing medicine/nursing/nurse-midwifery without a license...

Valerie

 

[minmoto2]

nak - i had an indiana hb in september. i did not have to keep it a secret, nor do my cpm midwives practice 'under cover'. They even have a website out for all to see

in fact, my baby needed to be transferred due to a birth defect...he spent a month in the nicu where we were constantly asked about his birth. We never heard anything negative & no1 was witch hunting. One of the nicu docs even made sure to keep my mw up to date on ds's progress.

I guess I wouldn't run around advertising, but I wouldn't be freaked out about it...also, talk to your mw and see how she feels

 

[Jilian]

We're not really talking about our choice because DS2 was born at home and surprised us with a congenital heart defect when he was 2 weeks old. We've met with all of the specialists and have been assured that this baby's heart is perfect and she's safe to birth at home. We just don't feel like listening to people trying to scare us into a hospital birth when we feel that it is not necessary. I know they mean well but telling a pregnant woman that her baby is going to die really sucks. Also, I get tired of educating people about HB and HB MWs and dispelling their fears. It can be a real downer after a while.

 

[yalad]

Why don't you ask you mw what has been done in the past. I live and work, as a mw, in a legal state. However, there are mws here that are "illegal" and want only certain people to know what they are up to. Each mw is different, and each state is different. Ask her/him what to do abou this issue.
yalad