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I have read soooo many posts onthis board about how you've thought about letting your child CIO or you wish you child slept like those CIO babies, etc, etc.... I know most of you have thoght about it at one point. And even though there are so many reason to not CIO, I really want to share my story to convince you even further.<br><br>
I was the perfect CIO mom in every sense of that type of parenting. It actually worked for a while too. DS started sleeping 8 hrs at night at 2 months and was a very content baby. But then because i wasn't feeding on demand ds weaned himslef at 4 months. That's when I first got a clue that something wasn't right about the way I was doing things. I knew without a doubt the breatfeeding was best so how could this parenting style be best if it cause early weaning? I finally turned the corner when he was about 6 months and have put soooooooo much effort into reparing our relationship(lots of baby wearing, no more CIO, positive and gentle discipline, etc.).<br><br>
Here's the other issues I have with CIO. Yes your child may sleep through the night early, but they aren't going to sleep through the night every night for the rest of there lives. Teething, travel, seperation anxiety, developmental milestones, etc. What I found is that since I never had any other methods to get him to sleep other than CIO that was the only way he would go to sleep. Until 11 months old he would never even let me rock him to sleep. For example. On a plane full of people. It's nap time and I have no way of getting him to sleep other then crying. YOu can clearly see how this would be bad.<br><br>
One of the other big deceptive promises about CIO babies is that by about 6 months or so they will go happily to sleep on there own with out crying. That's a lie! DS is 14 months old and if I don't help him to sleep, he would STILL cry. And he still wakes up in the night about 1/2 the time.<br><br>
And the worst part about all this is that at this point I don't have near as many copping methods as most of you do to deal with the night waking. I can't cosleep or breastfeed, there is no going back on those two things. It is really hard and there is not a day that goes bythat i don't think about wanting to breastfeed and cosleep. I'm just so glad he has taken to babywearing and being rocked to sleep so well. I would be really screwed if he hadn't.<br><br>
I know for some babies this type of parenting does fit well with their personalities. They are what Dr. Sears calls the "happy to starve" babies. I'm so glad my first was not one of those and let me know what he needs. Mom needed a little help! But for most babies this type of parenting is not the picture of ease it has been painted by some. You have to endure hours upon hours of listening to your little one cry their hearts out beofre you ever get to the stage where they are supposedly so "good." If a child were to even get to that point, they would have simply learned that mom and dad don't respond to their cues. But that doesn't mean the need isn't still there.<br><br>
So the next time the thougth of letting your little one CIO enters your mind, just remeber that it doesn't work. The CIO promises are pretty much lies and for most don't even come true.<br><br>
Thanks for letting me share. It has been quite a journey for me to go from on end of the spectrum to the opposite. It's almost like converting to a different religion. LOL.<br><br>
Hope this can help someone.
 

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Awww, hugs!!!<br><br>
Your son is very lucky to have a Mommy like you who's able to rethink her parenting style and shift things around when they aren't working. It may not be too late for co-sleeping- I'm sure you've got years of snuggling left!!!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Thank you for sharing your story. Please don't blame yourself too much, though, you could have been having the same problems you face now no matter how "right" you had done everything before.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I think this issue is so tough. I really don't feel like there's enough research on the effects of CIO or sleep training. Leaving a baby alone to CIO repeatedly is problematic, but what about controlled crying? Even that study that is quoted in an article at the beginning of this forum has the author of the study saying that more research is needed.<br><br>
I'm not saying that CIO is therefore ok, I'm just saying that it's a murky issue.<br><br>
I was starting to feel guilty because we hadn't done CIO, like maybe my child would have sleep problems for years (this from my ped <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> ). What I've finally concluded is that studies are fine, but babies are individuals, and we have to really listen to our children, and do what we feel is best for them.<br><br>
For me, it's not to CIO. Our baby has done pretty darn well co-sleeping, and going down by himself (for the first part of the night) after rocking and walking. He's a happy, happy baby. Why mess with it?
 

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To the OP, when you know better, you do better. I'm glad for you and your family that you've found better.<br><br>
Have you posted this anywehre else? I think your story may reach more people who need it on more than one board.<br><br>
Thanks.<br>
Sus
 
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