[transformed]

There are so many things I want to ask but I am going to start with just 2.

I am pretty sure I have decided my ds has SPD. I have gone up and down and sideways thinking he had so many different things but I am settling on SPD. Its irritated by sugar and food dye. Actually mostly food dye - sugar is kind of "ok."

so #1: If you know your childs minor disibility is irritated by say Red Dye, and you manage to eliminate it in the early years, what do you do when they get to be older? (My ds is almost 6, but he is really like 15 in his head and he has more freedom than most 5 yr olds. LOL.) He came home from his friends house yesterday with 10 lollypop sticks in his pocket. (The friend is 12. So in charge of his own diet.)

and #2: What do you do about behavioral stuff when you KNOW there is a disibility? He peed on my clean laundry this morning. He has many times spit in my moms face (she displays angry loud behavior and I think thats why she gets it and others dont) When a vacuum starts he screams (and dh gets mad at him) I cant just be like "Oh sorry he has SPD so sorry he spit on you." But I am confused at how to handle it.

Any information you have would be greatly appreciated....

 

[storychick]

My SPD kid is 8, so not that "old" yet but I see a definite difference in his ability to cope with it as he gets older. Much better now about making positive changes or expressing discomfort in words rather than going straight for the full-blown tantrum like he did at 3-4-5.

1 - I have not noticed a connection to food with my DS, but as he gets older I have encouraged him to take charge of his own care to a larger and larger degree. He is responsible for reminding us if we forget his meds, for instance, and he is also in charge of monitoring his own body responses and letting us know what he needs (eg he gets hot very easily, so he needs to be aware of that and remove a sweatshirt before he loses it -- or he needs to express to his teacher appropriately that the assembly is too noisy and crowded and he needs a break, etc). We have talked about the "volcano" with him and he is in charge of monitoring the eruption status, because we can't know what his internal state is, he has to tell us. Took him till probably 7 to be able to really do that effectively, and days that are really hard he still can't (but when he's that bad he doesn't need to tell me!)

With the food, I would talk many times about how those foods make him feel -- make him realize the connection himself, that he doesn't feel good if he has the red dye. He will probably cheat a few times, then realize that he really doesn't feel good when he has it, and monitor himself. Once they are older you have so much less control -- if he really wants to he will have access to that stuff in increasing amounts, so best to make sure he is in charge of it and understand why he can't have it. Learning the hard way is the surest way often, unfortunately!

2 - I have the same high expectations of my DS that I have of my other children in terms of behavior -- at least as far as he is concerned. He may NOT use his disabilities as an excuse for poor behavior. That said, I also have lowered my expectations in my head -- I consider him capable of more or less what his 2-years-younger sister is capable of, and sometimes less. That is, he get consequences if he does not behave appropriately. But I also try, when I can, to not put him in situations I do not think he can handle. For instance, he cannot tolerate many after-school activities, even though his peers are all in multiple sports/lessons/etc, so we don't do those. Birthday parties, I had to stay for, when other parents were okay dropping off. Field trips with his class, I try to go or at least the teacher has me on-call so that if he gets overwhelmed and needs to go home I can go get him quickly. So in that respect we do accomodate him. But he is not allowed to mouth off or act out even if there is a sensory root -- he needs to understand that feeling uncomfortable does not give him free reign -- he still needs to follow the rules/express his feelings appropriately, and then we are happy to accomodate his needs. We've talked a lot about how behaving appropriately is harder for him (he has Tourettes and ADHD as well as the sensory problems so he is fighting an uphill battle! lol) but that doesn't that its ok to be inappropriate. I see my job here as teaching him to get along in the world *despite* his disabilities, as the world is not going to be rushing to adjust to him (nor should it, IMO, especially when some of his behaviors are very rude).

Does that make sense?

I will say though that he was diagnosed with SPD at 3 and it really took until 6 or 7 until that lesson got through. So hang in there!

 

[transformed]

hmmm wow....that does give me some things to think about.

My ds has more energy than a ball of fire and so I am trying to socialize him but I find he is easily overwhelmed in social situations despite the fact that he is the happiest friendliest kid on the planet. He desperatly wants friends to play and play and play all day with but he can't really handle playing with other kids very well. He gets mad when they dont do things his way....etc. Ok this might not be an SPD issue but its an issue for us. LOL.

Sorry to vent!

 

[Momma Aimee]

subbing

 

[Momma Aimee]

Quote:

Originally Posted by transformed hmmm wow....that does give me some things to think about. My ds has more energy than a ball of fire and so I am trying to socialize him but I find he is easily overwhelmed in social situations despite the fact that he is the happiest friendliest kid on the planet. He desperatly wants friends to play and play and play all day with but he can't really handle playing with other kids very well. He gets mad when they dont do things his way....etc. Ok this might not be an SPD issue but its an issue for us. LOL. Sorry to vent!

my son too