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I have been going round and round and round with this decision for months and could really use some outside advice!<br>
My DS with Aspergers is turning 5 in May, and is on track to start K in the fall. He has been in an integrated EI classroom for 2 years and has done so well there. He is actually becoming a leader in the class, and really mainly has problems occasionally with getting stuck in his routines at play, and generalized anxiety over certain situations. To be honest, if he were to be re-evaluated today, I would imagine he wouldn't fit enough criteria to be classified on the spectrum, but I know it is still there- although mild.<br>
I really feel that the only situation that I would consider for him for a school setting would be something with a small class size and structure. In our area, that doesn't leave much. I have come down to the option of just 1 school that I like. It is a very small Catholic school and I like the program and teacher. It's either this place or homeschooling.<br><br>
Here is where I am stuck. I feel like he would do great there if it were similar hours to what he is doing now...he currently goes to school 3 mornings a week. If it were 5 mornings next year, I think that would be fine too. But, this school is 8-3, M-F. That's even longer than the typical public school hours I've seen. I don't like the idea of him being in school for 35 hours a week at such a young age. But, he would be the only child who left early if I insisted that he just go half-day...plus, they do all the "extra" stuff in the afternoon...hands on art, science, etc.<br><br>
I am willing and capable of home-schooling, but I am a single WAHM- and I worry that I will just burn-out if I continue to only be able to work at night. I have made it work for the past several years, but I always thought that someday, I'd be able to do a bit more of my work during the day when the kids are in school. I like the idea of a solid chunk of time to myself every day after almost 5 years of SAH parenting. So, I feel selfish for that as well.<br><br>
The problem is- there is no right or wrong answer, but I just don't know which way to go......
 

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We found that our AS ds does much better in public school than home. Well, I think he'd do well at home, too, but I, personally, can't handle home schooling. He's ins school from 7 AM (bus pick up) to 3:30 (bus drop off). It's a very long day for him and our dd (he's in 2nd, she's in K), but it works for us.
 

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Our dd will be 6 in June and we hsed her for Kindergarten this year. She is pdd-nos, but has the symptoms of AS. She has a lot of anxiety and still has some aggression problems so I think school would be too much for her.<br><br>
But on the other hand, it hasn't been easy trying to teach her. She is pretty strong willed and moody, so we have a hard time getting her to do work sometimes. We do lots of games and hands on learning. Next year will be a bit more difficult and we'll need to buckle down a bit more, but in K, it really isn't that difficult or time consuming to teach.<br><br>
Your son sounds well adjusted in his classes now. He may do really well in the school environment. Maybe you could try the new school next year and if it didn't work out well for him, you could pull him out?
 

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I think you should try the program if your only problem with it are the hours. You can always withdraw him if things really aren't working out.<br><br>
My kids are in school longer than I would like (preK and K are full day at this school), so I'm struggling with this decision too. I do HS my AS son but he does not do well in a group environment at all, and can't sit still without being able to stim every 40 minutes or so.<br><br>
I don't know what to do about my PDD-NOS DD yet (it is my "NT" girls who are in school). She will probably qualify for a 6-hr a day special ed program next fall, but she is only 3! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> I think that's just too much for a 3 yr old who shuts down easily.
 

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Something to think about, depending on how your state "classifies" homeschool (is it considered private school?) will dicate if they will provide any needed services (should he need them). The Feds just handed down a decision stating that unless a State considers homeschooling to be classified as a private school, they can no longer use district $ to fund services (Ot,PT, speech etc) for homeschooled children who qualify for them..<br><br>
So, just in case your DC received services.. I couldn't tell from your post, you can find out what the case would be for you if you homeschooled.<br><br>
The other kicker is that if your child does receive services and you homeschool and no longer get them, YOU still have to report to your district on how YOU are providing those services (out of pocket payments) for your child..
 

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Chantald, could you give a link to that new federal guideline about homeschoolers not getting district monies for o/t, etc. Thanks!<br><br>
OP- Could you find out from your integrated preschool if they have any specific school recommendations (small school, sensitive to aspies?). Another idea is check if your district has magnet schools (they're often alternative, smaller schools) or see about a Montessori school? Lastly, if you choose to homeschool, there's a yahoo group that is full of WAHM who homeschool (I could look that group name/addy for you, if you want). Good luck on your decision.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>julie anne</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10798907"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Chantald, could you give a link to that new federal guideline about homeschoolers not getting district monies for o/t, etc. Thanks!</div>
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pm'd you with it
 

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The info I had was more NYS oriented, here is the HSLDA info on services for SN children who are homeschooled<br><a href="http://www.hslda.org/courtreport/V16N6/V16N601.asp" target="_blank">http://www.hslda.org/courtreport/V16N6/V16N601.asp</a>
 

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I personally am planning to HS Ds who is showing signs of poss. asperger's...currently sensory issues and attention issues. But we plan to kinda unschoo,l and regular school isn't an option as we will be travelling. I do find it hard at times to make time to put in the extra effort with DD having SNs and occasionally WAHMing, but DS is on track with his same age peers and ahead in some areas, so something is working for us. But thats just us.
 

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Originally I had planned to unschool my girls, but I found it increasingly hard to teach Ivy anything. (dx'd Asperger's) After putting her in a 2 hour preschool 4 days a week I see her thriving. She craves the intense routine and the schedules. As much as I try I'll never be AS scheduled as school, so I believe public school is where she belongs. I'm coming to terms with that and dealing with my own feelings of failure in that regard.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Nature</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10800265"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'm coming to terms with that and dealing with my own feelings of failure in that regard.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> How lucky your daughter is to have a mom who is willing to change everything for her. You did not fail her!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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I really wrestled with this decision, too and we ended up giving homeschooling a try for K. Its gone ok but not really the way I was hoping. My ds (AS) just needs more structure than I am able to give him and he is just not connecting with other kids at all in hs groups. And yeah, I'm kind of burnt-out and that is an important factor. So, he'll be starting school in the fall and I am sad, but mostly I feel really good about it. I think he'll do really well. And I am keeping open the possibility of hsing in the future when all of my kids are older and ds matures a little.
 

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my ds (5) who has asperger's has done really well in a public school kindergarten. he does especially well with the structure they provide him. he also gets services there, OT, PT, and social skills.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>chantald</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10802127"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> How lucky your daughter is to have a mom who is willing to change everything for her. You did not fail her!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"></div>
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Thank you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent"> I really needed to hear that today.
 

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We homeschool our 6yo Aspie. This was his first year (kindergarten), and it went really well. We have truly enjoyed it, and plan to continue for a very long time. I have found that, even on our worst days, we are still doing better than some of his preschool days, and the good days are great. I think that not having to focus on the other kids, stimuli, and rules of the typical classroom not only allow him to focus more on learning, but also keep him from being overwhelmed every day.<br><br>
That said, it sounds like you're in a really tough position. Homeschooling and working can be done, (there are many in the homeschooling forum that do), but burnout would be tough. Kindergarten is pretty easy, as far as workload though, so maybe it might be worthwhile to try it this year with the idea of reevaluating every year?<br><br>
Also, I highly recommend Lise Pyles book, <i>Homeschooling the Child with Asperger Syndrome</i>, as it is a very realistic view of what homeschooling an Aspie is like, and the reasons a parent might choose to do it.<br><br>
Whatever you decide, know that you can change if you need to. If you decide to try school, and it doesn't work out, you can pull him. Likewise with homeschooling, you can change that as well.<br><br>
Good luck, whatever you decide. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>splotchy1</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10776642"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">But, this school is 8-3, M-F. That's even longer than the typical public school hours I've seen. I don't like the idea of him being in school for 35 hours a week at such a young age. But, he would be the only child who left early if I insisted that he just go half-day...plus, they do all the "extra" stuff in the afternoon...hands on art, science, etc.</div>
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Can't you just go to the school administration or teacher or whomever and say that you want to try this - but you want to ease him into these longer days? That you will be picking him up at 12:30pm after lunch for the first 6 weeks, thank you very much.<br><br>
I've talked to parents IRL with children with special needs, and one thing they have taught me (I have a 5yo DD with Aspergers and sensory issues) is that sometimes you just have to tell these people in charge not only what you need, but what you are <b>going to do.</b> Be a little pushy, but in a nice way, of course. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I soooo wish I had done that last year. I tried enrolling DD in a private preschool at age 4. The teachers insisted that she be there from 8:30am to 2:30pm. I *knew* it was too long for her to be there, but it never occurred to me to say to them, "NO. DD will be leaving at 12:30pm after lunch." I just didn't think I could put my foot down like that. Wimpy, I know. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
She did not do well at that preschool and we ended up pulling her out after 6 weeks. I wish I had been way more proactive back then and bucked the system.
 

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My now 8 year old absolutely thrived in Montessori preschool. But dh and I disagreed over paying for K or longer, so ds went to a charter school for K and 1. He did GREAT there until halfway through 1st grade his teacher had to unexpectantly leave and the new teacher wasn't so hot. We pulled him out and I tried to unschool, which was a HUGE stressful disaster. I didn't know what to do, so I sent him to regular public school (charter school had no more spaces available) when he would have been halfway through 2nd grade. He was definitely up to the level being taught at that time, but the stress and anxiety were too much for him, not to mention everything was timed, he's slow, not good. I've been homeschooling him using a boxed curriculum that I modify to meet his needs, and it is going really really really well. The first month or so are bad, ime, as you both get used to the new routine, and you lower your expectations (wow, I was surprised at how little schools actually teach our kids. lol. So even though I WAY lowered my expectations, he's still learning more than he would have at ps.) I have been really really happy w/ homeschooling this year. We have our days, of course, but overall, I think this is so much better for ds in the long run. His anxiety and a lot of his behaviors have gotten SOOO much better. I had no idea how much school was contributing to those until we settled into our routine.<br><br>
And homeschooling is SOOO much easier than I ever imagined it would be. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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My son is autistic and we found that homeschool with private therapies (but most of his therapy being done by me) was much more successful than public school was. He couldn't handle the full day kindy, and the school was not set up well for him. He was miserable. I know that a lot of Autie/Aspie kids do really well in school though, and some school districts are better than others too.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lurk.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lurk">: Just really enjoying this thread and wanted to sub <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 
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